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Intelligent Dating Is Crucial To Finding Mr. and Mrs. Right. Learn Why!

Updated on July 28, 2016

Dating: Beyond Appearance

Intelligent dating is when two people look beyond the outer appearance and into the hearts of one another for the qualities that make a long lasting difference in a great relationship.

Being realistic is the prerequisite for successful dating. Dating can be a journey of joy, pleasure and fantasy. Alexander Pope quotes, “They dream in courtship, but in wedlock they wake.” But a common pitfall in courtship is looking for the perfect person, an expectation that has resulted in disappointment millions upon millions of time.

Attempting to find the perfect person is a lack of understanding human nature. No single person on the face of the earth is without flaws, not matter how tall, dark, handsome, or stunningly beautiful in appearance they may appear. All of us know family members and friends who sailed into a relationship expecting to live happily ever after, only to be disappointed because Mr. or Miss Right didn't live up to the idealized image expected of them.

Personal Flaws

During the course of dating, an idealized image of a person who we thought was above reproach may take a blow when we find out a number of unpleasant things about him or her; such person may be:

· Living with their mother

· Not tall, dark and handsome

· Always reminding you of your shortcomings

· Too nice and submissive

· Lacking in romantic approaches

· Insensitive to your thoughts and feelings

· Unavailable whenever you need them

· Unemployed with no automobile to pick you up

Consequences of Perfection Seeking

Accepting the fact that no one is perfect is the beginning of successful dating. Lovers who stubbornly cling to the ideal of perfection will most likely find themselves in many negative situations, including:

· Disappointment at the discovery of a partners flaws

· Indecisiveness in choosing a comparable mate

· Constant headaches and break ups

· Forever judging and condemning their dates for awkward actions

· Believing that all the good ones are taken.

· Alone and desperate as time goes on

Dating: Smart choices

What is more important to you when dating?

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Falling into the above traps will always keep an individual single and unhappy regarding their love life. The way to escape these mental traps is to identify what's really important inside the other person. The inner beauty of a person will never fade away. But outer beauty is a temporary thing. Time has a way of eventually distorted the glory of our youth.

When we fall in love with a person solely on their outward appearance, we will be in serious trouble when our fascination with that person’s outward features begins to subside. It happens time and time again. Sooner or later, we will always see someone who is a little more attractive, stronger and intelligence. That’s human nature.

Many very attractive couples end up divorcing because the foundation of their relationship is built on good looks and extraordinary charm. We see this scenario play out time after time among Hollywood celebrities. They become mesmerized with the glamor and excitement of one another, throw the biggest wedding ceremony in history and head for divorce court a year later, if not sooner.

The strong relationship

Many relationships end in failure or divorce because the foundation of the union wasn't built on genuine inner qualities. Intelligent lovers understand that qualities such as sensitivity, loyalty, commitment, honesty, and communication make the difference between weak and strong relationships.

Knowing what to look for

Those who are intelligent in the dating game know exacted what to look for in a potential marriage partner. They assess the inner qualities of each other. They look for such things as intimacy, sensitivity, availability, reliability, trust, honesty, responsibility and independence. In addition, a sense of security and safety in the presence of a partner is very important for a woman. These are the qualities and characteristics that produce long and lasting relationships as well as marriages. Such qualities are responsible for good marriages which have survived the storms of breakup and divorce occurring all around them.

Preparing the Smart Way

If you are still looking for a Mr. Right or Miss Right, you are probably unprepared for successful courtship. Finding Mr. and Miss Right begins with recognizing tangible qualities. You may need extensive relationship counseling to fully appreciate this idea. Enrolling in a good relationship seminar or dating program will enlighten you on what is most importance in any union between people. The awareness that no one is perfect, including yourself, is great wisdom for the effectiveness of any relationship.

The Delight in Intelligent Dating

Those who are involved in successful dating are familiar with adjustments. Intelligent dating requires both persons to get out of themselves and serve the other. This may include buying gifts for one another that we would not ordinarily buy, dressing differently than we would not ordinarily dress, and acting in a way we would not ordinarily act, such as hugging, kissing, whispering and walking in the park on a beautiful fall day. There is a feeling of warmness, excitement, passion in the presence of the other person. This is the secret of intelligent dating.


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