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What are the components of a lasting intimate relationship?

Updated on November 5, 2016

What are the components of a lasting intimate relationship?

What are the components of a lasting intimate relationship?

Intimate relationships are one of the most important aspects of life.

Most of us wish to spend a lifetime with a beloved partner. However some basic ingredients of love, such as: care, compassion, attraction, chemistry, don't guarantee that.

So is there any recipe that will secure a successful partnership? Probably not, but here is a list of what people mentioned and I collected through different online forums:

Communication, what leads to finding out if people share similar interests in life and similar ways to go about it. That takes certain self awareness - self knowledge about our own needs, motivations, drives, personality, limitations, ambitions and being honest about it.

Other components are: respect, acceptance, honesty, loyalty, fidelity, selflessness, commitment, being humble, trust, flexibility, spontaneity, friendship, financial stability, sense of humour, self care, fulfilling each other’s needs, luck, openness that create closeness and intimacy.

Seriously? Can anyone fulfil all that, offering it and getting it? Of course the opinions differ in preferences, so none of us need to have all of the qualities. So is there anything that if not ensures us desired relationship, at least makes us more likely to make a better decision in choosing partner?

Compatibility, Symmetry

What links then partners who very likely will like to continue being together for a lifetime?

A symmetry aspect, may be an important factor in maintaining lasting loving relationship.

It has nothing to do with being alike and similar in expression and desires. On the contrary people may appear as quite different in personalities, goals and ambitions.

How to recognize if we have a symmetry with a particular person?

Usually it takes time to ask yourself and answer honestly a few questions:

* Who am I becoming in the presence of my partner. Am I a better person? What qualities are triggered within me? Do I like these qualities. Do they lift me or bringing me down?

* How do I deal with conflict in how my partner deals with it? If the patterns of behaviour oscillate only in areas: freeze, fight, shut down, withdraw, then of course that is an important information. Successful relationship are able to solve the problem, forgive and let go.

* What about trust? If your trust was abused and a lot of people tend to have a negative experiences here, are you able to give at least a credit of trust and communicate about your triggers? Does your partner do the same? I would say that is not necessary to completely grant trust to everybody but rather pay attention to how somebody acts toward us. Perhaps trust need to be deserved?

lasting relationships


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      Elmadani Belmadani 5 years ago

      Very nice !