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Is it really all about you?

Updated on September 14, 2013
You can find ways to avoid anger when talking about your relationship issues
You can find ways to avoid anger when talking about your relationship issues
Getting to the real reasons of your latest breakup is the start of never having to go through it again
Getting to the real reasons of your latest breakup is the start of never having to go through it again

Get to the real reason of your latest breakup to never let it happen again.

Without a doubt life can throw us some mean curves once in a while.

Relationship melt-downs that end in breakups bring us to the depths of self-doubt and feelings of utter abandonment that can take a long time to recover from, regardless of the reason.

Slowly we try to pick up the pieces and gather our lives into some semblance of normalcy, but the pieces can be well scattered and our hearts utterly shattered.

Did communication fall apart or did you just find that the person you loved wanted something different or someone else?

No matter what the final reasons are, because it will take a while for you to figure out what really happened and why, the real answer that's needed is what was it that you did that could have been done differently to have helped you avoid the heartache and loss you feel now.

Within every breakup there are two people that were together that aren't any more.

Was the breakup all about you?

Do you carry bad karma that allows these things to happen to you or do you feel so safe in your relationship that your rose colored glasses block out the storm clouds on your relationship horizon.

When the time is right you need to take a step back and allow yourself the dignity of having a critical look at the events that swallowed up your life in order to learn from the experience and find the way to allow yourself future freedom to not feel trapped into repeating these same mistakes.

I was cheated on. I fought to forgive and reconcile, to save the relationship. I thought I was doing what needed to be done by someone in love. I didn't realize until it was much too late that she didn't want what I wanted, what I thought we both wanted, a loving and faithful partnership. We were tested and together we failed.

Freedom within a relationship is a double-edged sword that usually only cuts one way, growing in separate directions. The more freedom is demanded the more apart you become, the more trust is lost and the deeper the hurt will be when your relationship chips are finally cashed in. Freedom within a relationship does not require the complete exclusion of yourself from what your partner is doing and this should never be required of you.

The breakup you've been through wasn't really all about you but it might have been about what you became during those final moments, days and weeks before the end.


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