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Is Your Relationship on Rocky Ground?

Updated on August 29, 2015

Is Your Relationship In Need Of Help?


Is it really as bad as you think or do you just need to find a way to calm the waters?

If you feel you are not understood in a relationship it can mean many things. Are you not saying what you really mean? Some people do not say what they are actually feeling.

Unfortunately men and women think differently about things. What may seem trivial to one can be major crisis to the other.


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Frustrated Woman
Frustrated Woman

Are You Playing Games?

Others can not always read your mind!

The other person should not have to play a guessing game.

Women cannot understand sometimes why men just don't have more intuition about their needs. Hate to break to you, men are not wired that way.

Are you afraid to say what is bothering you? Are you angry or scared? It can be hard to be blunt about problems in your relationship. You just have to at times spell it out, don't think someone else even as close as they are to you, actually understands what is going on in your head. You will have along wait if you are counting on that, it rarely happens without a 20 question game and by then the other person is so frustrated at the immaturity.

One does not have to be rude or mean to sound off an objection to what is troubling in the relationship.

The longer an issue goes on the harder it will be to correct or justify waiting so long to deal with it.


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Relationship Advice

Healthy Relationships: 10 Keys to Happy & Loving Relationships
Healthy Relationships: 10 Keys to Happy & Loving Relationships

Love breaks down all the barriers for a more fulfilling relationship with each other. Don't make silly mistakes that will cost you happiness together.

 
Angry Couple
Angry Couple

Do You Allow Things To Go Unspoken?

Are You Left Fuming?

There are marriages that for many years a problem goes unchecked and then when the person can't take it anymore, they blow up.

This out of control rage may leave the other person totally confused and wonder why it has taken so long to say something.

At times the rage can have very little to do with what is happening at the time.

If the outburst from your other half seems way out of proportion to what they are getting angry at, the truth is it probably has little to do with the moment at hand.

You will need to dig deeper to find the real issue.

Stop! Take a deep breath and control the anger, so you don't say something you cannot retrieve.


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Disgruntled young man
Disgruntled young man

Demanding Relationships

Things One Should Do For Themselves

It really surprises me when very capable men have their wives fix them a plate at a potluck dinner.

What is he a child or an invalid and can't get his own plate?

This is my opinion, but I feel he has very little respect for his wife. She has enough to do, without waiting on him.

Makes me wonder what goes on behind closed doors.

My husband would have to starve if he waited for me to fix him a plate, it just wouldn't happen unless he had a broken leg! He would not even expect me to do it anyways.


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Relationships Should Be

Relationships should be a unity built on being strong together and not a battlefield. It seems that some feel more in unity with their social friends than with their spouses.

Couple Talking Calmly
Couple Talking Calmly

Couples Conversations

Can't solve problems when you're angry

Conversations should transpire when a couple is calm.

I have read many times to never go to bed angry, while that is a good idea, it is not always possible. The last thing you should be doing is talking if you are both "dog tired".

Besides sleeping on it can bring new light on what you are upset about. If it is midnight and you got to get up early the next morning it is not a time to talk. It will end up affecting your trip to work the next morning and possibly your job throughout the day.

They can quietly air their feelings without blame.

It should be like "this is the way it makes me feel" when you do this or do that.

A person cannot be angry with the way it makes you feel.

These quiet conversations can help the other person to understand and maybe able to see each others point of view.

Better to talk about your problems before they become so big and out of control.


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Get Counseling if Necessary

Counseling can be an alternative if it can't be solved between two people just talking it out.

Relationship Books For a Happier Life - The more you understand how your lover thinks, the more you will understand how to make your relationship work.

Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work
Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work

Communication skills are really important. Coping with anger or an angry partner. Understanding and changing what needs to be changed.

 

Guest Comments Are Welcome - Relationships are better with an open communication.

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    • Mary Stephenson profile image
      Author

      Mary Stephenson 3 years ago from California

      @tonyleather: Thank you for your comment.

    • profile image

      tonyleather 3 years ago

      Very interesting lens. Thanks!

    • Mary Stephenson profile image
      Author

      Mary Stephenson 3 years ago from California

      @SavioC: If we could only take a deep breath before blurting out what we can't take back, even with all the apologies, it is never retrieved. There are times I wished I had spoke up about things that are not right, but I would rather miss those chances if it means that I stop before speaking when it really does matter. I suppose it is hard to turn it on and off at will, depending on the issues.

    • SavioC profile image

      SavioC 3 years ago

      Excellent tips. I realized many times we have conversations when we are angry and soon find ourselves going in opposite directions . It's a good point you made there.