Valentine's Day; Down Memory Lane
One Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day Memories
Many people would not give so much importance on Valentine's Day; one reason for this might be that like Christmas, Valentine's Day celebration is getting more and more commercialized. But as for me, I have very good reasons why Valentines Day is a very significant day of my life; perhaps I am just naturally romantic?
Valentine's Day is fast approaching; last years Valentines Day was an all-time significant Valentine's Day of my life but before going to that I am pretty much inclined to go down memory lane of those significant Valentine's Days I ever had for comparison purposes and to support my claim of the most significant Valentine's Day of my life.
1. Valentine's Day Memory with Mother
When I was ten years old and in Grade lV Elementary, my teacher Miss Salvacion Tuguegao, taught us this lovely Valentine's song on Valentine's Day;
"Mother's Valentine's Song"
Dearest child believe me you are truly my friend;
So today with gladness to you will I spend, just a kind of friendship from this heart of mine that will tell you in words you are my Valentine.
This well it says, mother's heart is true and never will change the love she gives you.
Such lovely song is among my favorite love songs; that I taught this to my children and even to my grandchildren. It is but a short song but it conveys true love from a mother.
Normally, we first experience, learn and perceive the meaning of love from our parents, mother's more specifically, for they are the ones who have direct "hands on" to attend to our basic needs when we were little children.
How a mother loved and demonstrated affection to her children from age 0 to 7 have great impact on the child's perception of love; this perception of affection will become one of the strongest determinants on how he will live his/her life in his adult life.
2. Unrequited first love
What is love? Well, I had no idea, I just loved the books, my studies, my religion, my wholesome friends and my family; they seemed to be my perpetual admirers. But when I was nineteen I experienced a feeling that really made me "sick" and which changed my outlook of myself and life as a whole.
December 3, 1974, he just arrived with Ramon; Ramon was the father of Ofelia's illegitimate baby. He and Araneta were both soldiers. I just happened to be visiting my childhood best friend after being three days home from my four-year study and living in the dormitory of the Missionary school in the Northern part of the country.
Ofelia had changed, she had a baby and was not married, we are the same age; we were both fifteen years old when I left. She was telling me how her life had been in the four years that we were apart. While she was telling me the story, I was gradually feeling disdain for her; I felt the anger on her stupidity and promiscuity.
While feeling this way about her and I was about the door for home, a uniformed soldier was also coming in. I saw his angelic face; it was like I had never met anyone that handsome and he was staring at me. Our eyes locked and I felt the heat on my back, there was some sort of aching in my muscles on my back and I felt instant headache and feeling nauseated. My pulse beats and breath ran wild and almost uncontrollable and my temperature rose; I instantly had fever, I suppose.We were staring at each other for how long, only God knows, and if Ofelia and Ramon did not wave their palms between me and Araneta, we could have been staring much longer.
I had to go home and spent the whole night kneeling before my God for this strange feeling. I met Araneta again on Valentines Day but my Dad was alerted, men outside our religion must be ignored, and I was an obedient daughter of a Church Minister; also I had just come out from the Missionary School as a Bible Woman. Such an unrequited "first love." I can never forget such feeling and Araneta even when I was already married to another for 18 years.
First Love Never Dies
3. My Perfect Valentine's Day (37 years later)
First love never really dies, the person or the object of love may die or perish but the "experience" of such wonderful feelings which is an energy, lingers on for as long as you live. Energy never dies though it can be transmuted.
In my case, Araneta was just the trigger of such wonderful feelings. Lucky are those who felt and acknowledged such feelings of love on the onset, and who can transmute it to a much more creative and productive endeavors. Just as those material possessions we've had that come and go into and out from our lives, people do come and go too, even love ones.
For thirty-seven years after that memorable "Araneta-un-receprocated-feelings-of-love" my soul continued to yearn for the consummation of such feelings; I am very aware of its existence within me.
I married, separated, remarried another again, got widowed; but my heart was still searching for that "Araneta personality" that triggered such intensity of love emotions. Everybody who I got involved with loved me as much or even more than what I can give, I have no question about this, but they seemed to sense that they were misfits for me because "I was not there". My heart was somewhere else, it was like somebody else got it.
I had done a lot of introspection and regressions, self-discovery and self-analyses until I discovered something like miraculous. The universe cooperated with me and I felt blessed.
In my mind I can see him, how he looks and most significant was his military uniform. There was a time when military men surrounded me in my horizon of friends and I noticed the the rising excitement within me but I just dismissed it as flirtatious feelings and I hated flirty women, remembering the stupid Ofelia; I cannot be flirting.
Another clue was when I was surrounded with Caucasian men, I also felt some excitement but this would be another story; perhaps this was caused by my stay in the Mission School ran by Caucasians such as Brother Raul Escobar, a Chilian, Freddy Conde from El Salvador Henry Andrade from Columbia and more. These people were very nice to me and valued me like I was a very important character in the Mission.
There were just three basic qualifications my psyche was looking for;
1. In military uniform
I found him, rather we found each other from out of the mounting rubles of despair and near-impossible situations. He is from the farthest end of my world and vice versa; Love Finds Its Way; after all we are both humans, none of us is a resident in heaven, we are still in this earth.
Valentine's Day 2011
Better Late Than Never
Thirty-seven years of figuring out and coming up with those simple three qualifications. If you look at the photo taken last Valentine's Season 2011, that is exactly how Greg and I feel for each other. I found my love at last, never mind I am 57, he is 55; the feelings are still exactly the same intensity as I had the first time I stared at Araneta's eyes. By the way, Greg is a retired military and I got his photo in complete uniform before we met; and needless to say, he is Caucasian and most important, I had never met any man as kind as he is.