- Gender and Relationships»
I Am a Marriageable Type
My three marriages.
Following are some basic information about my three marriages; these include the dates or years that I was/am into it, my age, the life span or the length of time that such marriages existed/exist, the fruit of such marriages or the personal growth and advancements that such certain marriage attributed to me, my rating or evaluation of such marriage in a scale of 10 in which 10 is a perfect marriage while 0 is horrible marriage, and last but not least, the nature of dissolution or how the marriage ended.
Rating or evaluation here is based on my perception concerning my partner's (in the given period) love or emotional attachment with me.
Date/Years: My age: Life span: Fruit of such marriage: Rating Nature of dissolution
First marriage; 1975-1993: 20-38: 18 yrs.: 2 children/education/employment: 10: Separation
Second marriage; 1993-2003: 38-48: 10yrs.: Business skills/maturity in life: 10: Death
Third marriage; 2005-present: 56 to forever: a dream for now :10: xxxxxxx
First Marriage. It would have been perfect if not for...
My first marriage would have been perfect if...
My over-all evaluation for my first marriage.
Love and security
In terms of love or emotional relationship and security with my first husband, I had no doubt that he loved me 100%. His love for me though, was not enough to change his natural inclination for cheap women...
Love is different from his nature. He was a weakling when it comes to women, especially promiscuous women. He did everything to keep me from knowing what he had been doing at my back, in his absence. He had chosen a "mysterious business" that would make him spend most of his time away from me so that he will have freedom to flirt and make every available woman pregnant, a mistress, sex partners in all the time that he was away. He led a double standard life.
He was perfect as far as our family was concerned.
I was innocent in all his activities with other women because he was a perfect husband to me and a perfect father to our children; very loving and caring to the details of our concerns; perfectly attentive to our needs; very accommodating as to spending a week of family vacation in many places wherein we tag along our children into expensive hotels, beautiful scenery of the country, shopping spree together in malls, visiting relatives and giving away gifts to them, attending a week-long of religious conferences to a far away venue with our children in-tacked with us, because our family received recognitions and awards for being top in charity donations; grand birthday celebrations for our children which would run for a week and killing pigs, chicken, goats, etc. in these occasions for visiting pastors, church workers, missionaries, etc., from far away places who attended and who had partaken all the bounties we offered for our children's' birthday parties;he was a perfect provider, very generous not only to his own family but also to every one; he was very kind, very considerate, very logical, with very high spirituality having strong religious faith; name all the perfect personality, he was my husband, I married a "perfect" husband.
Who was he?
He was 13 years older than me; he was a secret national figure; an expert government upscale and high caliber secret agent; a top goon to top politicians in the national level,no less than the President himself and the senators at the time, sought him for strategic political plans and implementation; he was an extraordinarily successful businessman; very sociable, having a high level leadership quality; his word was law having such authoritative yet kind personality traits, such admirable and extraordinary personal qualities that any wife could be proud of. He was very active leader, adviser, consultant in any social functions where our family was a member such as the church, the associations of Pastors and missionaries. I was his wife and everyone in our social environment would feel and think that I was a very lucky wife and we were a lucky family. He was a major and regular donor to religious cause of his choice, to charity, to scholarship grants and many more social organizations.
The Dark Secret
But he had a dark secret; something that he kept from me until I accidentally found those "mission orders" direct from the Palace of no less than the President of the country. Long before we met (our meeting is another traumatic experience for me and a shocking story), he was a convicted national level top "Notorious Criminal" of all types; homicide, murder, big time bank robbery, gangsters leadership, etc until his capture and conviction; his days were numbered in the death row if not for the President of the country who got interested in him and uprooted him from the sure death. The President took him out from the death row and used him instead to be his trigger man to murder and massacre his political opponents. I intentionally withdraw names here because this is a delicate national issue.
Our eighteen years of seemingly perfect marriage to a perfect husband tumbled down because of prolonged and too much freedom
We were married for 18 years; it was bittersweet only because he was always absent from the family...spending at least two weeks away from home and staying for a couple of days then off again in his "business". The only good thing for me in this situation was that I accumulated my education as a scholar in MSU-IIT ( a state university) earning to myself three Master's degrees and then my job in the Philippine National Bank, a Lecturer in National Steel Corporation, and later as a Permanent Public High School Teacher.
I actually never had internalized my marriage or wifely responsibilities because I always had four or more housemaids to do house chores, nannies, and servants to even attend to my personal cares.
I left him secretly, taking along our two teen-age children when he would, consistently,not come home for extended periods such as three to six months. I would be the last person to know that he was keeping more than one mistresses, two of whom were pregnant of his bastards; the two women would almost kill each other to claim ownership of him.
Wise as he may thought especially in blocking me from any information of his loathsome womanizing, his secrets would find its way to my knowledge...a shocking knowledge to bear.
My second marriage
My second marriage,
Married to a foreigner
My first husband was not home when my two teen-age children and I left our house; we took the airplane going to the north.
I was 38 years old. My fiance, who had been my New Zealand-Australian pen pal for two years, met us in the airport in Manila. He then took us to join him in Angeles City. He was among the sixteen Australian shareholders who pooled together their resources to invest in three hotels in Angeles City. He was the Managing Director in the Australian Company to run the hotel business in the Philippines.
I became the Managing Director in the Philippine Corporation for the Australian Company. I am an Academician and this was the first time I was exposed to the real world of business...administering not only the hotel business itself but also the diversified cultures of those people surrounding the nature of the business, both as employees and clients at the same time.
Yet despite my duties and responsibilities in the business, I continued to teach in the academe where, within that marriage period I also became the first Dean in the BSBA Department in SPCC (Systems Plus Computer College).
Those were busy years not only for me but also for my children. My son married at age 18, suffered some financial setbacks but through constant guidance he became successful in his business as a computer analyst. My daughter was able to finish a degree and eventually married another professional.
I have had lots of temptations, given the condition of my position and more so that my late second husband was 26 years older than me...but I got integrity that is stronger than any idiotic flirty mentality. My husband died in my arms at the age of 81, and I was 48.
Still married, my last
I was 48 when my second husband died in 2003, April. From that time I never had thought that I would marry again. Flirting is not one of my priorities; promiscuity cannot enter my very high moral values. But I don't run short of suitors and offers of marriage. I don't marry for the sake of marriage. I don't make sex the top issue of my needs; there are much better and enjoyable things in life than subjecting myself to meaningless relationships. I don't belong to the least fortunate types of female personalities; I am aware of my wholesome qualities...sincerity, chaste, beauty, brain, noble profession, to mention a few.
I am not young but I got youthful looks and dispositions; yet it's no big deal for me...I just enjoy my successes in education, friends and colleagues, job, and most of all, my children and family.
Yet, deep in me I knew what I needed; I am a marriageable type of a woman...no, not motherly, nor sisterly...I mean marriageable; more on the romantic side rather than on the battered-prone personality. Age, after all is not a hindrance for me...After 8 years of being a widow, I married again...something I never thought could really happen, but surely did as I am now the happiest wife of my new husband...happiest in my own terms of happiness...regardless of anything else.
My husband and I married last year; I was 56, he was 54 and I can say he is my perfect match....Seriously.