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How to leave an abusive husband

Updated on February 13, 2011

How to leave your husband

If you are planning to leave you husband please read this . If you are leaving an abusive relationship , please do not wait ,leave as soon as you can. Life is to precious to live in danger and to short to waist it in sadness, fear and stress.

Leaving a husband is a hard thing to do but, if you have made the decision to do it, there are things that you need to know .

Be very careful. Do not "ever " tell the abuser you are leaving. Leave when he is not home.

Pretend you are taking the garbage out or going grocery shopping. . Never tell the abusive husband or boy friend you intend to leave. If the abuser thinks you will leave, the violence can escalate.


Leaving an abusive relationship

Leave husband

If you are in an abusive relationship please leave as soon as you can.

If you are scared of your husband, leave now! Do not wait.

1.Call the police , the police can pick you up and take you to a women's shelter.

2. Call a women's shelter. most will come and get you .

3. Call 911

4. Run

If you can not leave your husband right now, here is how to plan your leaving.

Find a place outside your home to hide the things you absolutely feel you need to take

. You can hide them at a friends or relatives. Make sure if you leave your belongings at some ones home, it is a person who will not tell your husband,

You can also hide them in a bus station locker or storage unit or post office box . Just take a moment to think about where you can hide or store the things you will need and get them there as soon as you can.

If there is a safe place just outside the house where it will not be found such as behind a garage ,etc, hide it there .

Things you should try and hide for the day you leave your husband.

A. Drivers license ,and ID . Photocopies of all cards in your wallet (credit cards, health cards, etc.)

B.. Money, .Credit cards

B. Clothes and personal items.

C. Personal documents, children's birth certificates. Income tax papers .

D. Cell phone, get a second "pay as you go" cell phone

E. List of phone numbers for help lines, women's shelters and friends who can come and get you.

F Extra copies of keys

G.Photo of abuser and children { Very important }

H Medication

If you feel your husband will notice your ID missing get a second set of them or photo copy them. These things listed are just things. Getting out of an abusive relationship alive is what is important .

If you feel in real danger just leave your husband NOW, Leave everything behind , you can always have the police escort you back later to pick up your belongings.

Some women have done the following if they are living with their abuser:

Called the Family Violence Helpline counsellors to talk over their safety plan.

Set up an Emergency Escape Plan.

Set up a Children's Safety Plan if they have children / teens.

Made arrangements to stay with trusted friends or family just in case.

Hid the phone numbers they called by dialing another number to prevent their abuser from pushing redial.

Using a payphone instead of their cell phone so he couldn't check the call history.

Secretly saved money, cashed in bottles , pawned items, { please keep the money hidden outside the home so you can get to it after you get out safely }


Lets talk domestic abuse

The abusive relationship

If you are in an abusive relationship I bet I Can tell you what your husband says to you .

Your stupid , dumb, ugly , lazy. crazy, useless

No one will want you.

I am sorry , I will never hurt you again.

If you didn't make me so mad, I wouldn't do this to you.

Your family or friends are bad for you.or are trying to split us up.

If you leave me, you'll be sorry

If you leave me ,you'll get nothing

If you leave me, you'll loose the kids

Its your fault , if you didn't ___________We would be happier

If you just tried harder .

You'll never make it out there.on your own

After he beats you, he will say he loves you.

Do you notice by these statements everything is your fault , He takes no responsibility for the abuse.

Also, do you see how he is trying to control you.

You can not change this about him,

Are you willing to spend the rest of your life with things the way they are?

He may even threaten to kill you if you leave . If your husband is abusive he "could" kill you.

I learned that "I would rather die running, then standing there taking it".

There is a famous saying and I Don't know where it came from

"It is better to run away, so you can live to fight another day".

Believe it or not it takes a strong women to stay in an abusive relationship. You are not week. You have lived threw more then most people can endure ..

So now you have the strength to leave. Two thumbs up to you girl. There will be sunny days again.

Womens shelters

A safe place to stay.

I myself have been to a women's shelter.

What to expect in a women's shelter.

Women's shelters are free, they do not charge you to stay there and they do not let any one know you are there.

Many will even come and pick you up or send a police officer to pick you up.

If you have children they have toys, activities and games for the children and children's counselors.

I was very apprehensive about going to a women's shelter, but once I got there I was so relieved and felt cared for and safe.

All the women there were just like me, all had been through what I was going through.

They all understood.

. For the first time in a long time, I did not feel alone in my battle to survive.

I was penny less and only had the shirt on my back when I left my husband. The woman's shelter gave me clothes, a warm safe place to stay, and counselors to help me.

Domestic Violence Shelters - Links for USA and Canada

There are links here for Domestic Violence Shelters in Canada and one for the USA .

Amazon Spotlight Personal Review

Erase your Internet history

Don't let the abusive spouse know you are searching help on the Internet.

Erase Your Internet History

Follow these steps to erase your browser's record of your visit here AFTER you have left this site. Note that all but one of these instructions will erase ALL the Internet history. You might want to think about what to say if someone asks you why (E.g. you don't know what they are talking about, you did it by mistake, you thought you were supposed to clear the history to make space on the computer cause it was running slow, etc.):

In Microsoft Internet Explorer for PC:

1.Click on "Tools" in the top menu,

2.Select "Internet Options",

3.Select the "General" tab,

4.In the middle section, "Temporary Internet Files," click "Delete Files,",

5.In the bottom section, "History," click "Clear History"

In Microsoft Internet Explorer for Macintosh:

1.Click on "Explorer" in the top menu,

2.Under Web Browser" on the left hand window scroll down to and click AdvancedÂ,

3.In the History area are the top of the window click the button Clear History

You may also delete select pages (rather than all the history) on Internet Explorer for Macintosh by doing the following be careful to get them all):

Click on Window in the top menu and choose History from the drop-down menu.

When the History window opens highlight each page you want to remove and then click the Deletebutton on your keyboard.

Make sure you remove this page after closing the window!

In Netscape (PC):

1.Click on "Edit" in the top menu,

2.Select "Preferences",

3.In the left-hand "Category" box, select "Navigator,"

4.At lower right, under "History," click "Clear History",

5.Below that, click "Clear Location Bar",

6.Back in the left-hand "Category" box, click "Advanced" and then "Cache,"

7.On the right, click "Clear Memory Cache" and then "Clear Disk Cache"

In Firefox (both Macintosh and PC):

1.Click on tools in the top menu.

2.Click on Clear Private Data.

3.When the window pops up make sure all boxes are checked off.

4.Click OK to erase History.

Books to help you

It really helps to understand abuse .

The Most Important Thing

The Most Important Thing

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    Post Comment

    • Coffee-Break profile image

      Dorian Bodnariuc 

      6 years ago from Ottawa, Ontario Canada

      You need to know how to say "No More". You are very courageous!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Husbands are bound to share life together with their wife and not to abuse his partner. Abusive husband deserve to be left alone, they did not deserve a loving wife by the way.


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