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Liars in Relationships

Updated on December 16, 2014

Have you ever cheated and lied about it?

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AARP article reported:

According to a nationwide relationship the vast majority of people in committed relationships (married, living together or otherwise) — as many as 75 percent — admitted that they regularly lie to a significant other.

Truth about deception reported:

  • It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage (see, Buss and Shackelford for review of this research). And these numbers are probably on the conservative side, when you consider that close to half of all marriages end in divorce (people are more likely to stray as relationships fall apart; also see, who is likely to cheat).

  • Research consistently shows that 2 to 3% of all children are the product of infidelity (see, Anderson).

Truth about deception reported relational issues (lies):

  • Time Together - people lie about the reasons why they can't spend time together or see each other ("I am so busy, I have so much work to do, I don't have time right now")....

  • Feelings, Interest, Crushes, and Attraction to Others - people lie about their feelings and interest in others - often includes ex-partners, friends, someone at work...

  • Secret Contact - lovers lie about their friendships, time spent with others, accidental encounters (running into ex), phone calls, e-mails, and text messages with others. Essentially people lie about intimate, but non-sexual contact with someone else...

  • Level of Commitment – people lie about their feelings for partner, uncertainty or doubts about the relationship - not sure really love or want to marry partner or stay together...

The definition of a liar is someone who does not tell the truth. Omission is also included in my liar spectrum because omission and deception are not good traits for a person to exhibit or posses. When we were kids the lesson our parents taught us: lying is wrong. You remember the information your parents told you. If you tell one lie then you have to tell another lie to cover up the lie you already told. This will go on and on and on. There is nothing worse than lying and looking into the trusting face of the person that you love knowing that you have done nothing but deceive them. How do you feel comfortable with such actions and how can you clear your conscience? Lying contradicts the good books rule: do unto others as you would have them to do unto you. If you can live with your actions towards another and would be comfortable with reciprocity then continue. Unfortunately most people want to lie to others but expect truth in others which makes no sense whatsoever.

A Poem written by taSha.niC0le

Your words.
They wither into dust.
No amount of air
Could ever revive the both of us.
Suspended so deep
In every lie you always swore you never told
The truth came out.
Let's be honest,
Your excuses were getting old.
Stopping at no end.
Beholding no honesty.
"I'm sorry" doesnt mean a thing
Without a little sincerity.
You say you're so insecure.
So afraid of what may come.
You're doing it to yourself.
Don't you see what all you've done?
I've tried to be here for you.
Believe in you when no one else did.
But you're pushing me away.
I can't keep living like this.

There is freedom in being honest. In my lifetime I have had the experience of knowing (a few individuals) that were able to deliver information that was truthful even if it was not favorable to other parties. More people should practice delivering information that might not be easy in a caring manner while rooted in honesty. Liars do nothing but waste their time and others as well. Presenting yourself in a false light and lying to other people, while attempting to portrait yourself as someone you are not, is pointless. How can others accept or respect you when you don't respect yourself enough to walk in truth?

Besides, sparing someone's feelings, why do people lie when dating or in relationships?

If the person is not who you want for a long term relationship, say it. When you interact with that person treat them on the level of your needs. If she's/he's not a long term candidate there is no commitment needed. Your words and behavior should reflect your feelings. Never bring up topics such as exclusivity and do not tie up the other persons time because you are being selfish. When a person lies or misrepresents themselves (financially) it only causes you to have false expectations and you lose respect for that person. If you meet someone and they tell you sky is the limit and then it's turkey sandwiches next, it makes you wonder why the person didn't just present themselves truthfully. It's not so much about the money, it's about the lack of respect you have for someone presenting themselves to be something they are not.

Liar liar pants on fire.


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