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Ways to Deal With Loneliness After Divorce and Feeling Lonely After Separations

Updated on May 14, 2011

As everyone knows, divorce is not easy. Even though in certain areas of your life the stress and the tension may have eased, you can still be left with a big empty space where that other person used to be.

Feeling lonely after a divorce or the ending of a serious relationship is one of the most common emotions people will experience. Luckily, it is also only a temporary one. It is important that you be patient and good to yourself during this time of transition.

There are however a few things you can do to help make that transition easier.

Start by making some new goals for yourself.

This is the time for your to start looking forward instead of looking back. No longer look at yourself as being lonely, start looking at it as an opportunity to do things you have always wanted to do but never had the chance. You have to answer to no one but yourself and setting new enthusiastic goals for yourself is a great place to start.

Some examples would be:

  • Start exercising more or learn a new way to keep in shape that you have never tried before
  • Focus on eating better and experimenting with food (now you no longer have to worry about what the other person likes or dislikes)
  • Spend more one- on- one quality time with your children (if applicable)
  • Change your clothing or hair style
  • Redecorate where you live to more reflect your personal tastes (this can really be a fun one - for women: throw some of the frilly stuff around that he would have hated - for men: get yourself that huge flat screen television that you would be able to see from across the street)
  • Clean out all of your drawers and closets and become more organized
  • Start a new hobby - (there really are so many to choose from)
  • Learn a new language
  • Find fun and creative ways to make extra money - write online, start a website, sell items on eBay, get a part-time job in a place you enjoy like a book store or auto parts store - work someplace surrounded by things you love and where the the people that shop there share your interests
  • Spend more time on your spiritual development - read more books, attend lectures, go to conferences. Not only will you feel better about life in general but you will find uplifting people there as well
  • Take classes at your local college - learn something you want to know more about
  • Get in touch with old friends - online or in person
  • Spend more time with the rest of your family that you haven’t seen in awhile
  • Start exploring the internet for websites that pertain to your personal interests and make new friends

Get Over Divorce Loneliness by Meeting New People

While it might be a little scary at first because you are used to being part of a couple, there are tons of easy ways that you can meet new people on your own. This has nothing to do with dating but more about getting to re-know yourself and meeting new friends who share some of your interests.

Here are some places that you can begin:

  • Go to Weight Watchers meetings - Even if you are just trying to lose 10 or 15 pounds you will find a great support group there of people cheering you on
  • Go to exercise classes
  • Learn yoga, meditation, tai chi, etc. - this will help you meet uplifting people while making yourself feel better at the same time
  • Learn a new hobby in a social atmosphere (learn photography with others or take painting classes at your local crafts store)
  • Attend cooking classes - learn to cook new foods while also meeting others at the same time
  • Take some college courses - night courses usually have older people attending class because they work during the day - I know from personal experience they can be a lively bunch!
  • Volunteer at a nursing home, local shelter, or teach people how to read
  • Get involved in fund raising for a local charity - meet great people while working towards a great cause
  • Joining a divorce support group
  • Make friends with people online in forums or chat rooms of subjects that interest you

It is perfect to plan some of these activities for times such as after work or on the weekends. You will be so busy with your new activities you will not have time to be lonely and there is a good chance of picking up new friends along the way

Start Re-Building Your Self-Esteem and Focus on Thinking Positive More Often

Divorce can really take a toll on a persons self-esteem, especially if it was a particularly tough one. It is time to start tending to yourself and making yourself feel better. It is time to leave the past behind and start focusing on where you want to go from here. The point of now is the only point that matters.

Luckily there are a ton of places and resources that can help you feel better about yourself and life in general.

  • Purchase self-help tapes, cds, books, or movies that can help make you feel more inspired throughout the day. You will find it incredibly hard to feel bad when listening to a tape or CD that tells you all of the reasons and ways that you deserve to feel good.
  • Use these resources on your way to and from work, during your lunch hour, while working out at the gym or when home alone at night. Free yourself from the loneliness of divorce by filling your free time with great inspiring messages and let your subconscious do the work of emotional healing for you.
  • Again, attend lectures, nature walks, classes, seminars, weekend conferences, and online forums where people come together simply to make themselves and others feel better.
  • Visit free sites such as The Very Happy Human to learn how to feel more positively about everything that you do have in your life and how to create more wonderful things.

Above all, give yourself a break and some time. Realize this is a simply a temporary transition period and that your life will be completely different before you know it.


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    • KateWest profile image

      KateWest 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Have done all these things and have found more and more moments of happiness, although I am still technically alone. But good advice.