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Love Must Be Born Again

Updated on March 11, 2018

Love must be born again.

Have you ever wondered why some great marriages end in divorce?

Have you ever wondered why people have a different relationship and family problems?

The truth is that families have various challenges which they need to overcome and how they handle it goes a long way to determine what happens next. The challenges are different because your relationship problem may be different from that of others.

There is need to wonder why lovers, friends, and marriages can quickly come to an end. The explanation may be that we, as humans, have weakness and as such we do make mistakes that can be costly enough to cost us our relationship. At times we do not bother if a relationship ends because we know it will not work out even if we want to keep it. For instance some people can choose to end their relationship with you because of your belief in religious tolerance so; personally, I do not need such friends that will try to stop me from being myself when it does not, in the real sense, hurt them in any way. I do not mind if such friends walk away even though I still consider them my friends and I usually make more friends each time a friend leaves for such reason. It just has to do with friendship, and we know that lovers were once friends. That is some love stories started as a friendship and developed into lovers and can end in marriages.

It means that we make friends and someone among our friends can qualify to become our lover, although there are stories of love at first sight. Only those who have genuinely felt love for each other can be called lovers. Then the question is, why do once great lovers fall apart?

Does it mean that the love they once felt and shared was never real? Lovers are more than friends, and so they should understand each other better. I have heard of cases where men killed their wife and children for the sake of another lover. That is they no longer love their wife that they had to kill their family. Does it not sound crazy? Some people more easily go for divorce. The increasing rate of divorce in recent times in human history has made some people wonder why love so easily fades way. Why is it that love dries up so soon and is easily burnt and forgotten? Many things can cause lovers to go apart. Some people even decide to stay single because of the fear of the outcome of marriages. Some of them still desire to enjoy family life without sharing in the pains of partnership this they do by single parenting plans. It becomes difficult to criticise such people when those that want to get into the relationship are not certain of its outcome because those already in it are not too happy.

A man said, “Do you young people think it is easy for me to keep seeing my wife daily for more than 30 years and not get tired of her? So I do not believe in love because I still keep my wife not because of love but because it is my responsibility to take care of her and my children. That is why I wonder where you young people get the idea of love. Love does not exist because when we say, ‘I love you’ it is because of what we want to get from it which can be sex for most people, and having children. We just do our best to keep our responsibility.” From what the man said some families are struggling to stay together not because of love but because they think it is their responsibility to stay together as a family no matter the odds, especially for the interest of their children. It can be considered a fair deal when compared to those that quickly divorce without minding how their children feel about it.

Then does it mean that people do not fall in love before they start a family?

The answer may be that people do fall in love, but the love soon fades away. Either because love was not nurtured, or it can be that people so quickly fall in love only to realise it was a mistake so they want out or it may be that their partner changed from what they saw earlier when they fell in love. It is a pity for the latter class of people that is why it is good to be careful before making choosing a life partner if we have it in mind that divorce may have an adverse effect on our children , although we can not predict the partners that will change or not.

There are marriages that survived till the end although we cannot say if such marriages were considered a responsibility so it survived without love or if the lover sustained the love in the marriage till the end. But we know that lovers do have challenges, and they can manage to overcome their problems. The fundamental truth is that lovers felt love for each other at the beginning, if not they are not qualified to be called lovers.

Therefore for love to be sustained love must be born again. That is lovers should keep their love young and fresh as it was from the beginning so that it will never grow old. Lovers can achieve it by keeping their sweet and defining moments alive and by doing those things they did from the beginning. They should make out time to sometimes go out for a date as they did in the beginning and married couple should once again and from time to time propose to their wife, “will you marry me?” that can help them remember the magic moments and how far they have come.

The main point is that love must be born again if it must see the paradise of real and strong love that made it till the end.

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    • davidkaluge profile imageAUTHOR

      davidkaluge 

      7 years ago

      Thanks Anne, That is why I am searching for my mother so that I can marry her like I wrote in one of my hubs " If I shall marry..." It is always a task to get a perfect match but it is not impossible. Secondly, lovers can make it work out if they understand their weakness and strenghts and then the secret of how to carry each other along when one is weak. That is why lovers have to continually reactivate their love and fall in love over and over again.

    • davidkaluge profile imageAUTHOR

      davidkaluge 

      7 years ago

      Thanks Anne, That is why I am searching for my mother so that I can marry her like I wrote in one of my hubs " If I shall marry..." It is always a task to get a perfect match but it is not impossible. Secondly, lovers can make it work out if they understand their weakness and strenghts and then the secret of how to carry each other along when one is weak. That is why lovers have to continually reactivate their love and fall in love over and over again.

    • profile image

      ShyeAnne 

      7 years ago

      I get what you are saying davidkaluge. Thank you for understanding my thoughts. I think we need to have the foresight to choose a mate with whom we are intrinsically compatible with for there to be a remote chance for real love, truth, respect and peace to prevail.

    • davidkaluge profile imageAUTHOR

      davidkaluge 

      7 years ago

      You are right, ShyAnne. The major work in marriages and other relationships is how to sustain it, if we really want to keep. I love your word that cowards do not fall in love. It takes courage and strenght to hold on to love and, at times, we have to fight to sustain love. The word "fight" as used here means to do more for the seek of love.

    • ShyeAnne profile image

      ShyeAnne 

      7 years ago from Deep Bay, British Columbia, Canada

      yes, the challenge is definitely how to sustain love and make it last. Being in love is not for cowards!!

    • davidkaluge profile imageAUTHOR

      davidkaluge 

      7 years ago

      Thanks Dave, the issue and where the challenge comes in; is how to sustain love to make it last.

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 

      7 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      There is a huge difference between being in love with someone and actually loving someone. As humans we love because, God loves inspite of.

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