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If they are better off dead-You are probably better off alone

Updated on October 22, 2009

 

in life/love and all that is in between-it has been said that anything worth having is worth fighting for Why? Why do we always have to fight for things? Why can't love come without pain and tears? If you love someone-you should fight for them not with them! Treat them with all the respect and compassion that you have always wanted. Is it really love when you feel in your soul that they don't respect you-dont care about your opinion/dreams/fears/needs and desires or even worse they don't even know them? When someone says -I love u- what does that mean? Is love putting everything on the line-while saying-im here for all the good and bad? I believe so! But does that also mean that love is giving up who you are for what they want? From experience say-it sure as hell feels as if that is exactly part of it/but from observation and fairy tales-it isn't so. Maybe that is the issue? Believing in an altered perception of a distinguished reality have had numerous conversations with guys and gals alike- and when it comes down to it-issues within a relationship fall into a few different categories. Issues within any type of relationship have to do with mistrust, difference in beliefs, differences in future plans and goals,deception and character expectations-all of which suggests/ people in todays society spend too much time on bulls hit (video games, computers, phones, housework, shopping, cars) and no one is communicating. Trust issues? Well if he thinks your cheating and your not/ your not doing something to create the doubt, if u are cheating well that falls into deception (and we all know that no one wants to admit that they fucked up or they don't want to belittle themselves dropping to their knees and begging for your understanding-most people do not like to say I am sorry and earn anything/specially re-earn trust). Beliefs and future-well people/before you commit to a relationship should you not first ask the appropriate questions to determine if you are or are not compatible? I mean, dam if you want to move to canada and have 5 babies- and they dislike children and cold weather-may not be the best idea to commit if you aren't willing to change or compromise on your ideas of the future. People argue-have bad days and yell-s hit happens- but when those bad days are now your typical day-something is wrong. Something has happened and communications failed. When you can't get along for an entire day without one of you biting your tongue to avoid a disagreement-when you have 1 good day out of every 30-when you cry more than laugh-feel more alone when they are close than when they are gone-dont recall the last time you went to bed together-dont recall the last time you said I love you/other than the quick love u b4 u hang up the phone-when u dread being home an entire weekend with them every weekend-when you express ur dreams and fears and they aren't even listening cause midway through the 1st sentence they quit paying attention and started texting-when each request u make is never done-when you start living in the past for what use to be-the way u use to feel-the way they use to speak to u-things u use to do together/just so you can survive the present-you may need to find a way to hook back up communications or if not-abandon ship-cause your love boat is sinking. Think of it this way-IF THEY ARE BETTER OFF DEAD, YOU ARE PROBABLY BETTER OFF ALONE.
If someone truly loves they are willing to sacrifice it all-but if the person you are willing to sacrifice things for-truly loves you back/they won't let you sacrifice everything. People set unfair expectations of others-when you do this-what you are doing is setting them up to fail/and then in your eyes they will always be less. You can't set standards for people without knowing them and what they are capable of and what they want- or how will anyone ever be good enough.
No one wants to be nothing- so why do so many of us make the one that we 'love' feel as if they are nothing? You should shower with compliments, all whom u love-not negative thoughts. What makes people want to keep expressing themselves when all they see is how much they aren't?nothing. Life may not be easy all the time-but it doesn't have to be a constant battle and love should be there to hold you up-if its holding you down while life kicks your butt-consider that the truth may be it isn't really love-and isn't where you should be.

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    • H.C Porter profile imageAUTHOR

      Holly 

      8 years ago from Lone Star State

      wow- i forgot about this one, lol---I believe this was one of my first 3 hubs--lol. I must come back and re-read and probably do a whole lot of editing on this one---eek...thanks for the comment :)

    • aware profile image

      aware 

      8 years ago from West Palm Beach Florida.

      love is a struggle its often painful and often turns into a fight from my experience . that's the time i think to take hands, hold them tightly. and walk awhile in silence.in the end its the hopes of this writer that . i love yous will be at hand.love aint easy. hates easy. lets take the harder task at hand,

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