- Gender and Relationships
Love, Laugh, Live
Of all the precious things in the world, the most precious is love.
In an ever-growing graph of money,status and luxuries in our life, there are certain things which are getting more and more scarce. We do not realize them till they are almost gone. Yes - I'm talking about human relationships and the small surprises of life
There was an era which did not see mobile phones or computers. That era saw love in its true form, saw respect in its honorable form, saw courage in its inspiring form and happiness in its unadulterated form.
Love is universal. Love is omnipresent. Sometimes you do not know it is even there. Sometimes you take it for granted expecting it to be always there. Either ways love wants to be with you in the form of a parent or a friend or a sibling or a son.
In other words, this entire column is based on the concept of love - the love and zest for life and all the attributes that come with it.
Images: freedigitalphotos, freerangestock
Relationship - A Two Way Street
True relationships take a lot of time to build. But once built, they last till the end of time guarding us all through the ups and downs of life. Be it money or love, you receive what you give out. Why should a relationship be any different? Like all the good things in life, building and maintaining relationships is hard work. Healthy 'give and take' will make it strong. Learning to overlook minor differences and getting together to celebrate solid similarities go a long way in making a bond.
Every relation is unique and special in its own way. Even friendship is not the same. The way we behave with one friend is totally different from the way we behave with another. Each relationship is a recipe. Remember that we cannot live on one taste alone. We need sugar (sweet memories), chillies (big fights),pepper(small tiffs) and all other ingredients to make one tasty meal. A relationship that has shared the smiles and has weathered the storms will learn to be patient. A relationship is at its best when the other person learns to accept you for who are and loves you for what you mean to him or her. Expectations, fun, smiles, tears, disappointments, fears all come together here. But both of them involved have to make an effort to keep the ball rolling. No one person alone can make a relationship successful. As they say you need two to tango. Sometimes I wonder why they call it investing in a relationship. But when you look at it closely, true relationships are uncovered in extreme situations most of the times. Working on a relationship is a conscious effort. It is too precious to be taken for granted. Such a passive relation in the long term becomes stale and ends up breaking more than one heart.
Understanding a relationship is the basic part of building it. Appreciating the relationship is a mature way of looking at it. A good relationship is a two way street which is open to love and healthy debates from both the directions for a long time to come.
Inspiration from simple things
That Funny Thing Called LOVE
Love gives you,
Strength when you are down,
Happiness when you are sound,
Security when you are scared,
Smiles when you are glad
Hugs when you are sad
And hope when you are hurt.
Love is a small package that has a great value which only doubles by sharing. Time is short while journey is long, some might pass through, some might stay with you and nevertheless there is always something worth learning in a relationship.Love is omnipresent. Sometimes you do not know it is even there. Sometimes you take it for granted expecting it to be always there. Either ways love wants to be with you in the form of a parent or a friend or a sibling or a son.
Love - The more you get, the more you want to get
The more you want to get, the more you want to give
The more you want to give, the more you learn to live.
Love is a universal presence,a timeless phenomenon which can tear your soul apart and heal a broken heart. Love can make the world go round and bring time to a standstill. It can show you dimensions of yourself that you never know existed. It gives you wings to fly and tears to cry. Love is indeed a funny thing.
Love & LifeClick thumbnail to view full-size
Bouquet of Love
This is my book of short stories based on love. I'm sure you won't regret trying it out as all the stories are real and inspiring.
Roots and Wings
It is now the era of nuclear families. Our parents migrated to small towns leaving behind our native villages in search of means to provide for their family. We took it further by migrating to metropolitan cities in search of opportunities and a better life. Our supposed native became our parent's native and we became more acclimatized to the small town modernly referring them as natives. Our children go to hostels even before they enter college. Most of them even prefer foreign assignments. The end result will be this - We will be located all over the world, we would know all about the latest technologies and modern lifestyle but we will never get to know the treasure trove our great ancestors left behind.
How many of us are today proud to say that we hail from a village which did not even have electricity two generations back? The fact that we have managed to come so far is undoubtedly a matter of pride, but what about the people who supported visibly or invisibly for all our efforts to bear fruits. Every culture has its own roots. For instance, my native mother tongue does not even have a proper script, which means there are no options for reading or writing. How it managed to survive all these generations is a great mystery. The customs, rituals, festivities and all the peripherals associated with my culture are still intact. I know a lot of facts about five generations starting from my great-grandparents to my son. I think it is possible, only because we as a community have managed to stay close-knit till now. But starting from my generation I can visibly see numerous families becoming smaller and smaller. Children going out for studying, parents not willing to settle down with children in an unknown land, youngsters shunning our land for better pay, the list is endless.
But whatever the reason we chose to go out from our natives, we must always remember that our roots are always there. Our native has given us the wings to explore the entire world but however far a bird flies in search of food, it must always return to its nest. That is the law of nature and the law of harmony. What we look down as a backward village is actually a place overflowing with love and values. Our native has generations of our ancestor’s blessings. Great legends lived there. Great love stories happened there. In search of material comforts, we must not lose what rightfully belong to us. In getting new wings to fly we must never forget the roots that managed to sustain us till we grew wings. We must learn to respect and value our native lands.
How can we contribute to our native?
Though we have come far from where we have started, it is still not too late. The easiest way to contribute to the native land that nurtured us is to be updated about what is happening there. Not all of us must have moved outside. If you have childhood friends who are still part of the land, maintain contacts with them to know the current situation.
Visit your native regularly with your family. It will strengthen the ties between the past and the future.
If you are qualified to being a change to a community, start with your community. Not only will you be welcomed with open arms, people will also learn to respect you and your intention.
A good intention is useless without a good support team. Try building an internal community which can handle all future causes.
Focus on the urgency of issues. If you cannot directly impact the situation, try linking the corresponding people to achieve the cause.
Your native is your backbone. It has given so much for you and has been an integral part of your successes wherever you go. Taking care of it properly is the least gratitude you can show.
When I think of my native, I remember
1. Playing on the streets
2. Delicacies by grandma on special occasions
3. ‘Mile sur mera’ song based on national integration on the only channel available on TV – DD
4. Going for long walks with daddy
5. Playing ‘Mario’ video game like it was the best game in the whole world
6. Pranks with cousins during summer vacations at our native place – climbing trees, picking fruits, playing downstream, making new friends, having fun in meadows with cows and birds, wearing traditional outfits, being
A lesson that stayed with me
“When will the bus arrive?” I asked the old man standing next to me. I was traveling back to my place after visiting my native village. There were limited bus facilities and unlimited crowd waiting for the bus. It was afternoon and the sun was at its peak.
How do these people do this everyday? I silently admire them. There are no luxuries in the village but still everybody seem contented. I for one can always remember wanting one after another in my life, a good salary, nice job profile, a computer, a scooty, a new dress… I’m seldom contented.
“Here comes the bus”, the old man next to me interrupted my train of thoughts. I run forward to secure a place to stand. The bus was full to its limit – surprisingly not only with people. I could see chicken, goats and a lot of vegetable sacks all going to some town just like me. I was ushered in, a little graciously since people recognize that I did not belong to the village.
A family of three adjusted so that I can sit along with them. Wow! What are looked at as inconveniences at the modern town are read as a helpful gestures here. The journey was an hour long. I looked around to pass the time. There was a little girl sitting next to me talking animatedly to her mother about her friend. She must be around six or seven years old, I assume. Suddenly she turned to my side and gave me a wide grin.
“Your bangles are nice. Will you give me these?” I engage her in conversation.
She nodded her head in the negative. I expected this. I wonder how these kids learn the word ‘no’. Maybe it is the most used word in a household. Anyways, all kids are possessive of their belongings.
Before I could persuade her, the girl simply said, “Do you know why you can’t have this? Because they are too small for you. You need a bigger size. I have some bigger ones at home. I will give you those.”
If I say, I was dumbstruck, it would be a gross understatement. The child looked very vulnerable and came from a very ordinary family. Her parents looked as if they worked for daily wages. Yet they taught their little daughter the importance of being contented. The little girl had all the innocence that came with a village territory- the charm, the non-stop talk, the bright colored dress with mismatched bright ribbons. Beneath all that was a heart of gold. Learning to be selfless is an art even most elders do not manage to foster. The girl did not even know me. Still she was ready to give up what little she had. I learnt a very important lesson that day. Contentment and happiness go hand in hand. The girl believed that she had everything she needed. That was why she was open to sharing whatever she had. I made up my mind. I’m blessed with so many things. In the hurry to go forward, I’m forgetting to enjoy the moment that unforgivably passes by. I learnt to be contented. I learnt to be happy.