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Maintaining Long Distance Relationships

Updated on October 2, 2012

Developing an emotional bond with someone is difficult in itself. Imagine trying to sustain that bond with hundreds or even thousands of miles between you. Long distance relationships are often said to be doomed from the start. But whether you believe absence makes the heart grow fonder or makes the heart wander, there are ways to at least give you and your love a fighting chance.

  1. Communication

Good communication is the most important strategy to maintaining a solid relationship. This is true regardless of how far the two of you may be from each other, but it is especially important when many miles stretch between you. In a long distance relationship you cannot rely as much on physical contact as you would in a traditional relationship.

With today’s technological advances, communication has become less time consuming and easily adjusted to fit any schedule. With the various avenues and devices designed to facility contact, long distance relationships can now benefit from some semblance of immediate and even face to face contact. Email, instant messaging, text messaging, video chatting, and phone conversations – all of these things can help long distance lovers remain in relatively close contact. Video chatting in particular provides the opportunity to see as well as hear your loved one, helping to make you each feel that you are included in each other’s lives.

2. Be Creative

Sending and receiving little expressions of how you feel has always a fun and exciting way of communication and relationship building. When you are in a long distance relationship, flowers and hand written love letters can really go a long way in reminding your significant other just how much you care. But, while these traditional methods are great, there is nothing like knowing your loved one put a little more time, thought, and effort into their expression. Be creative when sending your sweetie a little something. No, creative does not have to mean expensive. Gifts often mean much more when they are personalized with sentiments that only the two of you share. Items that commemorate you as a couple can be a wonderful way to maintain a level of intimacy across distances.

Another essential part of many long distance relationships is to be substantially creative when you communicate with your loved one. A lack of physical intimacy doesn’t have to mean a lack of total intimacy. Many couples engage in risqué calls, chats, messaging, and even webcam sessions to maintain their sex lives.

3. Trust Each Other

Trust is probably the biggest issue that long distance couples face. Combine the lack of physical proximity with a sensitive or overactive imagination and it is easy to see how this issue can bring some would be relationships to a screeching halt. Trust is an essential cornerstone of a long distance relationship. Without it, your relationship is doomed.

Here are a few tips for maintaining a high level of trust in you long distance relationship.

1. Set a regular time to call your significant other. Most couples prefer to talk every day. Make a concerted effort to set aside a special time of day for just the two of you. These days may be alternated if you prefer.

2. Tell stories about your day in detail. Using detail will help your significant other envision your day and actually feel a part of it.

3. Include the names of your friends and coworkers as you describe your day (even if they are of the opposite sex). Don’t be dishonest by omission. Intentionally, leaving out details can signify a problem and this is not the way to maintain trust. Using the names of the other people in your life will also help your significant other to “get to know” your friends and feel connected to your life.

4. Be random. Let your loved one know you are thinking of them by texting, calling, emailing at random times a couple of times per week.

5. Invite them for a weekend visit and actually spend the time together. This is a perfect opportunity to introduce your honey to your friends and coworkers that they’ve already heard so much about. Putting a face with a name is a great way to lessen suspicion and increase trust.


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    • profile image

      Cathy 3 years ago

      Whoever wrote this, you know how to make a good aretilc.

    • profile image

      Jazlynn 3 years ago

      That's what we've all been waiting for! Great pogtnis!

    • LQWILLIams profile image

      LQWILLIams 5 years ago


    • soconfident profile image

      Derrick Bennett 5 years ago

      I love this article, I use to be in a long relationship and I use to send her videos of me saying how much I miss her, or to say hello. Back then I didn't a camera for video chatting.

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      Abigayle Malchow 5 years ago from Ripon Wisconsin

      This so very good advice and really so simple. I had two marriages that were primarily from Iraq at some point and even though they didn't work out it wasn't for the distance. When it was the distance we were more connected emotionally and all. Communication how my first husgand and I did it was we set up a weekly family call. In the middle of the week I got my thirty minute just me call. We emailed about anything important or send a random alove you email and a lot of pictures. I sent a box a month of silly things he would like. I always included something for the random holiday. We got on yahoo IM only thirty minutes weekday morning before kids got up for school so we would always have something to talk about. We did webcam when we got really lonely for the other or were emotional and needed some sort of "contact"...eye contact works wonder and now there is sype thats even better.