ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Male Victims of Domestic Violence

Updated on March 3, 2013

Male Victim

Help for Male Victims of Domestic Violence

Did you know that more than 1/3 of the victims of domestic violence in the United Stares are men? It is not a subject discussed often, but the fact is men are suffering from abuse by their wives or girlfriends everyday. Why do they keep the secret? Why do they tolerate the situation? What can they do to protect themselves and their children from these attacks? Is there anywhere they can turn for help?

Why Men do not Report Abuse

There are many reasons men remain silent when they are the victim of domestic abuse. Shame or embarrassment is one of the most common. After all, what kind of man are they if they cannot keep from being hurt by one little woman? Society expects men to be king of their castle, not the palace whipping boy. Will anyone even believe that a woman has physically assaulted him? If men are victims of continued psychological assault, they, as do female victims, begin to suffer from a lack of self-confidence and start to question whether they deserve the cruel treatment; they begin to believe they are useless and nobody else would want them anyway.

Fear is another big factor. On many occasions men who called the police for help because their wife was attacking them found themselves being the one arrested. After all, it is much easier to believe that a 120-pound woman was simply defending herself against her 220-pound husband than the other way around. Men also fear they will be forced to give up their children if they give up on the relationship. Even when a woman has been convicted of domestic violence, the court will often grant her custody of the children in the event of a divorce. They also fear retaliation from the abuser. Will she come after him again and hurt him even worse? Will she falsely accuse him of molesting their children so she can gain the ultimate revenge? What will happen if he is financially dependent on the woman's income?

What to do if you are a Male Victim of Domestic Violence

First, know that no one has the right to abuse you, physically or mentally, not your wife, girlfriend, or even a gay partner. You must protect yourself before you get seriously injured or even killed. Here are some steps you should take:

  • Do keep a record of every assault. Write down the time, date and details. You may need this information later.
  • Do seek medical treatment for any injuries you suffer. Do not lie about how you received the injuries. It needs documented.
  • Do tell friends and family what is happening to you. Do not be ashamed or embarrassed. You are not the one who has done something wrong. It is important that others are aware of the situation, and you need the emotional support.
  • Do not retaliate. If possible, leave the situation immediately, even if it is the middle of the night. Go to a friend's house or seek protection at a shelter for victims of domestic violence.
  • Do seek legal advice or advice from a counseling center.
  • Do call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE

Although this is a horrific situation, you can make it better. As a last resort, you may need to file for divorce. If that is the case, find a qualified lawyer in your area to help you with the legal proceedings. Remember, no one deserves to be abused.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • abbykorinnelee profile image

      Abigayle Malchow 

      6 years ago from Ripon Wisconsin

      I have a friend that was dealing with this and I had no idea. Breaks my heart. I have been on the end of domestic violence but never thought it would happen the other way around to someone that means so much to me.

    • profile image


      7 years ago


    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Thanks for writing this column to show abuse against men needs to be reported and its nothing to be ashamed of. I can relate to how hard it is because i was part of an abusive realtionshipon. Again, thank you.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I know how it feels. I used to be part of an abusive relationship.Thanks for writing this eye-opening column.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)