- Gender and Relationships»
He's Married But I Didn't Know!
Wow! But This Does Happen. A Lot!
You meet this really nice guy at the club and You can't believe your luck. He's a really great guy and you're absolutely infatuated with him. You told all of your girlfriends about him. They are ready to pick out bridesmaid dresses. There's just one thing. He's already married, but you didn't know. He didn't tell you he was married, of course not. You had to find out on your own. Certain things just wasn't adding up and you did some digging. Now that you know that he's married you're questioning everything he told you. That night he whispered, "I Love You," did he really mean it? Those promises of being together forever. Is that really going to happen? The last question you're asking yourself is should I keep seeing him? That answer is, HELL NO! I know we are all human and as humans some of us tend to lie. Omition is another form or lying. Some of us tell itsy bitsy small lies like, "No, I didn't drink the last of the orange juice. Some of us tell GREAT BIG ONES like, "Na, baby, I ain't married." You find out this fool has a wife, three children, a dog, and a partridge in a pear tree sitting at home waiting him. This is one of those lies that can really get a person hurt. Emotionally and in some cases physically. Some women do not play when it comes to messing around with their husbands.
Signs Of A Married Man
It's hard to see the signs, I know this, because I have been led down that street once or twice, maybe it was three times but who's counting. Even though the signs of untruthfulness are right before your eyes, it can be hard to see it when your vision is cloudy by the murkiness of love. When you are in love with someone, you can't even think straight most of the time and you tend to put aside your own intuition. We will vacate common sense and trade it in for no sense at all. Love is a magnificent blood sucker, thirsty for all who dare to dream it perfect. Love has no stipulations and no terms and conditions box to check upon entering into it. We dive in head first with no life jacket and expect that we will make it out safe on the other side and live happily ever after with Mr. or Ms. Perfect.
Ladies keep your eyes open and pay attention to the signs.
You've never been to his place. He always has an excuse as to why you can't come to his place. It's because his place has a wife and three kids there waiting on Daddy to come home.
He never spends the night. He's always in and out. He only stays long enough to have sex with you and then he's gone. That's because his wife knows how long it takes him to get home from work. Anytime over that she'll get suspicious. Married men have curfews.
You have never met anyone close to him. He has not introduced any friends or family to you because they all know he's married.
He schedules your meet ups. He knows the times when he can sneak away from the wife. He can't make plans with you that can cut into his family time with the wife and kids.
He never spends his days off with you. His days off are for his family. You will not see him at all on his off days off. When you have a family, your off days are automatically reserved for Family Time.
He doesn't answer your calls. You call him and it goes straight to voicemail. He's cooking dinner or watching movies with his family. He can't have you blowing up his phone like that. So he sets your call to go straight to voicemail. He usually calls you back within an hour or so.
He conceals his calls. Every time a call comes in he goes into another room to answer it. That's just wifey calling to remind him to pick up some milk on the way home.
He never takes you out.Especially not to local places. He can't run the risk of running into a family friend. If you do go somewhere public it's out of town.
Worn groove on his ring finger.Take a look at his ring finger. Is there a worn groove indicating a ring was once there.
If all of the above applies to you, chances are that the person that you are involved with, is also involved with another.
Will He Leave His Wife For You?
Not likely. Most men cheat out of lust, not love. Marriage is a beautiful union, but for some people it can get a little boring. Being with the same person, day in and day out can become a drag. It doesn't mean they have stopped loving that person. It's just that the lust and maybe even the sex in their married has fizzled. He will not leave all that he has built with his wife, especially if they have kids together. Right now your are something new, fun and exciting. There will come a time when you will also get boring to him and then he's on to the next exciting thing.
A Man's Point Of View
The Truth Will Set You Free
So this married man thought that it was best not to tell you that he was married. I don't know where he got his thinking from but I'm willing to bet that he was not thinking with the big head. Instead he let the little one lead him down the path of destruction and obliteration. They always do and they always get caught. It's best to tell the truth upfront and don't compound the crime by lying. By him lying and not telling you that he's married, is not only hurting you, but he's also hurting his wife by committing adultery. Simply because he wanted some extra cookies on the side. I'm sure that if he had told his wife that he wanted some extra cookies (i.e. sex) she would have given it to him. It can work on both sides, even though I don't condone cheating, at all... Well maybe... Sometimes…. Anyway this is not about me and I am not married. If this man had told the other woman the truth about him being married, he still would have probably got some cookies from her too. With milk. Now that he has lied to both of these women, where can he lay his head at now? I guess he can call Mama. The only cookies Mama got for him are Oreos or Chips Ahoys.
I will leave you with this. A person can only do to you what you will allow them to do. Learn from your mistakes. Do better next time. It's way too many men out here to be going after one that's already taken.