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Plenty of Fish?

Updated on May 27, 2016

Looking for Love

In general, college is for learning (and dating). According to a Facebook Data Sciences study, "28% of married graduates attended the same college as their spouse." What about the other 72%? We know there are those strong feminists out there who don't need a man. We also have those men who will just never be marriage material because of their bachelor pads, or the fact they still live with their mom. So let's just say that leaves 62% of the people you go to school with that have not and WILL not find their spouse while in college. WHAT!

Source

All the Single Ladies

There are currently 54,250,000 single people in the United States.Over half have tried online dating. Now, I know at first the thought of it seems sad. I mean, why can't you meet someone in the park or at the coffee shop? Even if you do, the world is just a different place now. A man cannot go up to a woman without her getting offended. A woman can't go up to a man without coming off as "easy." The simple fact is that it is so hard to meet someone who is out looking for the same thing you are. An online dating profile gives you a sort of wall to build up, let those PM's tear it down! Your dating profile allows someone to get to know you. Sure, they may judge you based on your looks and your writing skills, but hey, they would do that at the coffee shop! This way, you don't have to go through all the minutia. You both have an online profile, this let's you see if you have similar interests, such as long walks on the beach and waffles.

Waffles

Should I Date or Should I Go

There is no harm in creating an online profile. Over 49,250,000 in the world are trying it! The first step is to decide which site you want to visit. We have all seen the E-Harmony commercials with the sweet old man; the Match.com commercials wondering why YOU haven't joined; and the Anastasia Date commercial with the blonde Russian? Those are all good sites if you have enough money every month to put down. But, come on, you are young and need booze. There are several free legitimate dating websites which have been rated. Check one out and see if one catches your eye.

E-Harmony

Rome

Rome wasn't built in a day, so don't go into this with unrealistic expectations. Odds are, you will not find that suitable someone in your first 24 hours...or 48 hours...heck, it may even take a few months! You are going to get several messages from creepy old men who want to photograph you...or from 16 year old girls who want you to buy them cigarettes. JUST PULL THROUGH. Over half your messages are going to begin with, "Damn honey, ur fine." There's a 50/50 chance these individuals are not looking for anything on a long-term basis. Avoid the hassle and don't even message those creepers back. You also have the people who are insecure. They don't know how to start a conversation, or how to keep one going. It may feel like pulling teeth, but give them a solid day to get used to conversing with you. If communication begins to flow, you may have found a viable date!

Where oh Where?

Where did you meet your significant other?

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Honesty: The Best Policy

Honesty is another big key factor in online dating, especially if you're hoping to snag someone for the long-term. Do you really want a relationship based on lies? Chances are when you two get to know each other the lie will surface, causing bigger problems than if you just told the truth. On the same note, you can't always be questioning and doubting the person you are talking to online. According to a 2007 study by author Jeffrey Hall, "Patrons of an online dating site were no more or less likely to lie about themselves than people who find dates the old-fashioned way..." We are all guilty of telling little white lies, just be careful and don't let them turn into huge red lies.

If People Were Honest

Shoot for the Ocean

Shoot for the ocean. Even if you miss, you'll land among the fish. Just give it a shot! You'll never gain anything worth while if you don't take chances. Even if a successful relationship doesn't bloom, at least you'll have some hilarious things to tell the kids you're never going to have.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 14 months ago

      "We also have those men who will just never be marriage material..."

      Actually one study revealed that by age (44), 85% of men have been married at least once. Of those 15% that had not I imagine some of them were gay but now we have "marriage equality" laws the number of men getting married is likely to rise.

      Therefore there's a 90%+ that any guy a girl dates will eventually get married. It just may not be to (her).

      There are two basic reasons why men don't propose marriage.

      1. Timing (They're happy with the way things are/have other priorities.)

      2. She is not "the one".

      "Patrons of an online dating site were no more or less likely to lie about themselves than people who find dates the old-fashioned way.." Very True!

      Another thing that should be pointed out is it pays to (research) dating sites and learn what the demographic of the site is before choosing one. They are not all the same. Generally speaking the "free ones" are among the worst to find "quality people". Knowing what type of person you want should help narrow down your site options.

      If you're looking to date a doctor, lawyer, or middle management person you're probably not going to find them on Plenty of Fish or OkCupid.

      Another thing is just because someone doesn't want what (you) want at this stage of your life doesn't make them a "bad person". Just move on.

      Lastly it's important to acknowledge online dating is nothing more than another (tool) for meeting new people.

      Just as a fork is a tool for eating. One can use it to eat a garden salad or a slice of double fudge chocolate cake. However an obese person would never blame their weight gain on their fork!

      And yet many people who have bad online dating experiences oftentimes blame the online dating industry!

      Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      You are responsible for your own "mate selection process".

      The only thing all of your bad relationships have in common is (you).

      The reality is a lot of folks HATE the dating process!

      This causes them to try and rush through things without building a rapport online using the site, taking some time for exchanging personal emails, and if things are going well exchanging cell numbers, and ultimately deciding to meet for lunch someplace. There should be "milestones" and based up whether he or she meets your criteria you move them up the ladder. You also don't want to put all your focus on (one person). Until there has be been a discussion about being "exclusive" you should assume he/she is keeping their options open and are dating other people until they meet "the right" one.

      A company receives tons of resumes, conducts many phone interviews, and has face to face interviews with several face to face candidates before offering a job to anyone. In the meantime the candidates are still sending out their resumes and trying to interviews with other companies. Therefore don't be quick to label someone as being a "cheater", "player", or "no good" when you're not in an "exclusive relationship." Always use good commonsense when meeting strangers whether it's online or offline.

      No one is asking you to decide on whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire! Dating is suppose to be FUN! Therefore relax and enjoy yourselves.

    • profile image

      Maureen 15 months ago

      Great insight! I passed the article onto some friends who have thought about online dating, but were always "afraid" to try..... hopefully this will motivate them!

    • Penelope Arrow profile image
      Author

      Penelope Arrow 15 months ago

      Amy, I completely understand! I think it is all about where you are. It is kind of like gambling; you win, break even or lose. It is all about the chance of the game. Of finding someone you are compatible with who has also joined a dating site. I think some of the problem is that most of the good men out there don't feel like they need to go online to meet a nice woman.

    • profile image

      Amy Johnsen 15 months ago

      Im on two dating sites. For years. I could write a book. Its very depressing. 98% fall into categories of players, just lookers, scammers and men with serious health or personality issues.