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Modern Dating

Updated on March 10, 2015

Iowa Couple Married 72 Years Dies Holding Hands, an Hour Apart


Just reflecting on conversations with random strangers.

Men willing to open their house and allow women to drive their cars while they “broke up” with their fiance but they still live together. (But they aren't intimate? Yeeaaahhh right?)

Women trying to compete for first place/prize (a relationship) by catering to a man who has several options.

Men who's girlfriends always seem to need help paying their bills or want a designer purse.

Women so desperate for love that they are now allowing me to live off of them in exchange for companionship.

Men who are pushed (strongly encouraged) to enter into relationships upon slight meeting only to realize they fell for the representative and are now miserably married.

Women that stay in abusive relationships and turn a blind eye to infidelity while pretending not care.

Men and women pretending to be someone they aren't resulting in a waste of time for both parties.

“Amen. God Bless” and you've slept with most of the men at the bar

“Amen. God Bless” and lie/deceive women to attempt to gain sexual favors........”I drive.....I'm a producer”

Does anyone care about each other anymore or do the good people dedicate to finding the needles (diamonds) in the haystack? Where o where are the GOOD heart people with good intent and loving hearts? Why don't they speak to each other at the bookstore or volunteer events or otherwise? It just seems like sometimes everyone is desiring/chasing what they don't need or isn't the best fit.

Kedrick Lamar featuring Javonte:

"We hurt people that love us / We love people who hurt us

Sometimes I feel we share nothing in common – It ain't fair

Why you couldn't be a con-artist? Why you couldn't

Why you couldn't be mischievous or just a lil' devious

the moment that we first started?

Why you never ask for nothing, just a lil' time?"

Perhaps Javonte's spoken word piece in the song speaks the truth and it applies often to both men and women............”She says she loves me, and I don't know about love.

What are your thoughts on dating from the previous generation? Has the art of dating and courtship completely changed? Do you feel there are more quality people in the dating pool versus 20-25 years ago? Why are so many good people (who want to be in relationships or married) not getting married and have the wife/husband and kids? Is there a dating problem?

Am I the only one that remembers loving someone meant that they do things just for you AND vice versa? Now sometimes I sit and watch a web of lies unfold. My latest excursion I sat and watched a couple at the bar. The man paid for early dinner for a woman and her friend. I think in over an hour there was an exchange of perhaps 20 words among themselves. He left after paying and a few minutes later another man walked over and passed the woman his number as if he was waiting for her to signal him to come over when the other man (who paid for drinks/food for her and her friend) left the table.

I watched the dance that is so often played and I this love in 2015?

Do you think TRUE love still exists?

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Twenty or thirty years ago not every couple had all the answers. There were couples that lasted, happily, for decades. That happy couple might be a lady who was an assistant or school teacher and the man might be a postal worker or teacher. Whatever it was they had what it took to be happy. You almost always hear couples tell their stories of being together loving each other and speaking of courtship that has lasted decades. They still smile when around one another and are happy for gatherings with the children, grand-children, and great-grand children. Being flexible, focusing on your partners happiness, and not sweating the small stuff sounds like the way to enjoy the married life. Many of these qualities are missing from both parties.

The desires seemed to be genuine, functional, and realistic in nature. Now we have everyone with "issues" and "baggage" stifling oneself from being emotionally available or fully committed to a relationship. We live in a society that is extremely materialistic and seems to feed the message that the needs of the individual are more important than the growth and health of a marriage. Broken people seeking dysfunctional relationships appear to be the norm. We have shows like The Bachelor, Catfish, or Baggage designed to show how people manipulate and appear to specialize in presenting someone they are not in order to gain the prize "date/marriage." The dreams and hopes of the simple man and woman appear to have been lost. I'm convinced that somewhere over the rainbow sits the "good catches" that would rather wrap themselves into their career or engage in solitary confinement, content to stay home alone and read. Perhaps that is the positive way to respond to a society where the person of good heart is overlooked or perhaps undiscovered.

So to all of you who contemplate attending that speed dating event, signing up for, or handing out postcards to friends in the hope of recruiting potential new relationships..........don't give up. Believe that there is someone out there made specially for you for through it all I hope, like me, you remain a hopeful romantic. So don't lose hope that he/she is just around the corner, or next to you at the library, or headed into the quick trip to grab a soda. Love is grand.


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