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Mother of the Bride Duties and Responsibilities

Updated on February 15, 2019
viryabo profile image

Many brides mothers' are not aware of the magnitude of work involved in planning a wedding. Of course, a few of us learned the hard way.

The role played by the mother of the bride does not stop at just planning a great wedding for her daughter who is obviously over-excited (with heads 'floating in the clouds'), and so can't do much detailed planning for her own special event.

A bride's mom knows that of more interest to the bride-to-be is perhaps her pre-wedding photoshoots, building a wedding website, her bridal ensemble, honeymoon location, and moving into her new home. Not much thought goes into the actual planning and implementation of important duties before and during the wedding.

This is where the helping hand of a mother of the bride comes in,

She is aware of the onerous task of planning a wedding, no matter how small the occasion might be. She is aware that someone has to pay special attention to the finer details that are required to make the marriage ceremony a huge success.

What is the Role of Mother of the Bride?

What role do mothers of the bride plays and what exactly are their responsibilities when it comes to planning a wedding?

Long before the wedding day, the bride and her mother will need to sit down and talk extensively. Discussing plans, preferences, assigning tasks, and scheduling will help keep the wedding plans on track.

In some cases, the groom-to-be likes to get involved with the major plans and that's a great idea for those who do.

The bride-to-be should give her mother an idea of the kind of theme she will love for the ceremony and from then on, the planning may commence.

It is best to have a notepad and a pen to first jot down ideas and other wedding things that come to mind at the initial planning stage. These notes can be edited and then re-written in a more organized way on a notebook, iPad, or laptop.

The mothers of the bride role and responsibilities include the following though listed in no particular order:

  • List out all jobs, tasks and duties that are usually associated with weddings. These include anything from arranging for the photographer and videographer to deciding what the party favours should be, who does the flowers, and who to choose as the make-up artist.
  • Deciding on the theme and setting for the wedding. Is it going to be simple with just a few guests (like a beach wedding) or elaborate and classic with a few hundred wedding guests set in a medieval theme?
  • Choosing the colour scheme for the day. This can appear in all places where the wedding event will hold - the church, chapel, reception hall, and party venue.
  • Create the guest list with the input of the parents of the groom. This is the time you can all decide on who to invite or not because you may need to narrow down the list, something that happens almost all of the times.
  • Choosing and finalising the wedding invitation designs so they can go out to the printers in good time. Wedding notices may be sent out a few weeks before the proper invitations are ready. This helps invited guests to keep the day free on their calendars.
  • Helping in choosing the bridal gown and bridesmaids dresses and accessories, and be available to attend dress fittings whenever the need arises.
  • Choosing the wedding cake design, colour, and recipe (fruit or plain). You also want to decide on the number of tiers and the way it is setup.
  • Scouting for wedding event planners if it's a size-able to a big wedding that requires the services of a planner. It's not all weddings that can be fully and solely planned by mothers.
  • Choosing the venue for the wedding reception (banquet room or hall) and where the wedding party will hold.
  • Making arrangments for a car, limousine, or horse-drawn carriage to transport the bride and her father, and the bridesmaids to the church (or registry) and the wedding reception
  • Another mother of the bride role is arranging for the music. Will it be a one-man band, a DJ, or a full live band? You can decide on this at the early stages of planning.
  • Getting a professional photographer and a well recommended videographer. The same photographer that photographed the pre-wedding photo-shoots will probably be best employed for the entire ceremonies.
  • Deciding on the choice of wedding favours and their presentation and packaging. Will they be set on the tables as part of the table setting or handed to guests as they leave?
  • Finding the best caterers, drawing up a great menu, and deciding on how the food will be served to the guests.
  • Find suitable hotels or lodgings for out-of-town guests. Guest must pay for their accommodation bills where applicable.
  • It is the mother of the bride’s responsibility to talk to the vicar or pastor who will be conducting the service. Will the wedding service be held in a chapel, church, a hall, or even a large garden?

Additionally, as a mother of the bride, your responsibilities can also include helping to plan the bridal shower and ensuring there is a rehearsal dinner. You may liaise with the mother of the groom to discuss what dress colour or style to wear.

One major responsibility that sometimes falls on the shoulder of some mothers of the bride is having to walk your daughter down the aisle, a responsibility usually set aside for the bride's father, brother, or a male relation, usually on her father's side of the family.

This occasion only arises if the bride's father is deceased, is missing in her life (perhaps, if she was raised by a single mother), or if her father is too ill or is challenged and can't be at the wedding.

At an instance such as any of these, bride’s mother may also give the introductory speech. However, many mothers will rather this duty is performed by the master-of-ceremony.

Another responsibility includes paying for all the floral arrangements for the ceremony and the bouquets and corsages for the bridesmaids and flower girls. The groom's family pays for the bride's bouquet and boutonnieres for the ringbearer and the groomsmen.

Duties on the Wedding Day

On the wedding day, the mother of the bride must (if she can) leave the ceremony, whether held at the church or registry, earlier than everyone else. She should leave even before the bride and groom but only if a wedding planner's services have not been employed.

This is especially important because as the host and hostess, she and the bride's father have to be positioned to greet, receive, and welcome all the invited guests as they all walk into the reception hall.

The bride's mom must act the perfect hostess by making sure their guests are all comfortably seated in their marked spaces, well fed, and having a wonderful time. Her role includes ensuring that all service providers are doing what they have been employed to do and that all the wedding guests are well attended to.

© 2010 viryabo


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    • viryabo profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      Hello saira, i'm glad you find this hub informative.

      Thank you for visiting and for your comments.


    • saira khan profile image

      saira khan 

      9 years ago from pakistan

      very useful infirmation. thanks for share.

    • viryabo profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      Thanks again F4L. When i first started almost a year ago, i didn't have a clue as to how to do anything. You will learn fast along the way, just as i did.

      Yes i am a christian (but not fanatical!LOL), but you wont find me in the christian forums. It's so volatile in there. LOOOOL!


    • Fashion4Live profile image


      9 years ago

      aww! thank you so much for the exceptionally helpful advise! im glad as well that i have met someone who shares the same interests as me! i know that im not very experienced in this type of 'blogging' stuff, but from my perspective, i think that what you right is awe-inspiring and stunning! thx so much once again! btw, r u a christian ? i kinda maybe picked that up from the 'GodBless' ...? if you are then i think that's great cause i am too! type 2 ya later!

    • viryabo profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      Hello Fashion4live, Thanks for your visit and your comments. its so wonderful when i meet people who share the same interests as i do.

      I'm off to check your profile out and will give you feedback. I can't profess to be full of great ideas, but i've learnt quite a lot along the line from great hubbers here at HP especially at the forums where there's a wealth of info, and i'm very willing to share with you as well. Welcome to HP, a great community of writers. You will so enjoy it here, i promise.


    • Fashion4Live profile image


      9 years ago

      hey there Viryabo ! I am new on here (not sure exactly what I'm doing lol) and i read something on ur profile...not exactly sure what it was but it said something like your into designing and u love dogs. and guess what?!?!? I just love to design fashions and interior things and....I LOVE DOGS! i have loved dogs ever since i was 3 ! i was wondering if u could check out my profile and see if im doing things right...? thx !

    • viryabo profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      Thanks so much G. Happy new year. I'm sure you had a great christmas. Thanks for your visit.

      So glad to hear that the blog is still on. That's Great. Wish you the best G.


    • GPAGE profile image


      9 years ago from California

      viryabo.....VERY NICE HUB! Funny, when I lived in the UK and my kids called me "mum" for a while.......ANYWAY, nice hubs with details to encourage moms/mums!!!!!! Happy New Year to you too! Still working on that "blog." Will keep you posted........G

    • viryabo profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      Keira, hi! Missed you. how's it been going with you? hope you had a wonderful Xmas celebration. Thank you so much for your visit and nice views.

      Happy new year! I wish you all the very best in this new year - 2010.

      Take care and GodBless.


    • profile image

      Keira 7 

      9 years ago

      Hello my dear Viryabo, Happy New Year to you, may 2010 be perfect for you. Plenty of Happiness, and specially a very good health. I did miss you, and your hubs. This one is brilliant as always and thanks for the good info. Have a lovely weekend my good friend. Bless you.:)

      PS : I like the video too. :D


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