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Living With Your Boyfriend Before Marriage

Updated on July 22, 2012

Moving In With Your Partner Before Marriage

A lot of us see this as a big deal in life. Some of us view it as the wrong decision to make and some do not think it matters either way. From what I've seen and heard, it's all based on your own beliefs and religion.

I started dating my now fiance at the age of 17. Right after I graduated high school, we moved into our own apartment together. It was very fast due to inconvenient circumstances and not being able to pay the rent by myself. He moved in to help me and we haven't been apart since.

The pros of living together before marriage:

  • Knowing what it's like to live with one another.
  • Getting comfortable in your surroundings and not being embarassed when it comes to dressing, showering, using the restroom, and going about your daily routines.
  • Spending more time together than you might be able to as a couple living apart from one another.
  • Understanding that small arguments are bound to happen when in close quarters with someone everyday of your life.
  • Getting a feel for what your partner expects from you and vice versa when it comes to living together.
  • Sharing financial responsibilities early on so that when you get married, it will no longer be a shock.
  • Knowing first-hand what it's going to be like when you do finally get married to this person.
  • Finding out their personality, behavior patterns, moods, etc early on.
  • Figuring out if this relationship would work as a marriage.

Honestly, when I moved in with my now fiance, it was fantastic. Something new and almost taboo [not that I'm in any religious belief that would fog my decision]. Never being apart from the one you love was obviously a luxury.

If you're like me, it takes me such a long time to get used to someone. Living with them is a whole other story. Doing normal, everydy things such as eating, using the restroom, showering, and other things were awkward with a male in the house, at first. As time went on, I managed to become extremely comfortable with my partner and this year I have overcame every single awkward moment that I may have had a hard time with in the past and I am 100% comfortable doing anything and everything in front of my partner.

Jumping into marriage without first living with my partner would have been utter chaos for myself. I am a very anxious and nervous person until I am comfortable around that person.

I am getting married this December and have been with my now fiance going on 5 years. We have the best relationship that I could ever imagine and living together for nearly our entire relationship has brought us closer than ever. We know exactly what to expect when we get married. We know eachother like the back of our hand. We know eachothers faults, flaws, moods, personalities, likes, dislikes, sleeping schedule, and anything else you would want to know about your future spouse.

The decision is purely up to you, but living with your partner before marriage definitely breaks the ice.

Kurt Hasley
Kurt Hasley


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    • Ileana profile image


      9 years ago from Texas

      The important thing is that you're happy and you both respect each other. I know quite a few people who are married and miserable. Putting up with cheating spouses for the children's sake or because their spending habits would change dramatically. So I highly doubt God would punish you. It would be hypocritical to say you're married and cheating on your wife or husband, but it's okay because you're married. And then pass judgement on to someone who's in a healthy relationship, but it's wrong because they haven't signed a piece of paper??? I think not. Congrats to you and your fiance!

    • jim10 profile image


      10 years ago from ma

      Hopefully God won't punish you because I would be in the same boat. I even went so far as to have some of the kids before marriage. Marriage is a piece of paper. I planned on living the rest of my life with my girl way before marriage anyway. I knew she was perfect and couldn't get married or I wouldn't have gotten my scholarship for college. I felt married way before the wedding bells were ringing. But it was nice when we finally did get that wedding ceremony. We had a small wedding and each took colored sand to pour into a heart shaped jar that we bought to symbolize our love. That jar means so much more to me than the piece of paper. Congratulations.

    • SweetiePie profile image


      10 years ago from Southern California, USA

      Thanks for sharing your story and perspective Starkissed. I always like to see how people feel about this issue.


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