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Narcissistic Relationships - Troubled Waters

Updated on December 17, 2012

Narcissistic Relationships Put The Partners At Risk In Many Ways

Narcissistic Relationships bring with them huge risks to the partner of the narcissist because their behavior is a manifestation of an excessive ego and self absorption at the cost of everyone around them. Over the years, if this behavior doesn't change, it generally results in a codependent, emotionally draining and abusive relationship.

Narcissistic Relationships will require lots of energy and work, because narcissists are in constant need for outside support and approval. Once these needs are fulfilled they feel powerful, but many times this need will be very hard to be satisfied and the self image and the peace of the partner may be dramatically impacted.

Narcissistic Relationships test the mental limits of their partners patience, and individuals in a relationship with a narcissist feel something is not 'quite right', feel a lack of emotional connection and most eventually realize it's wise to seek answers to the unsettling experience of their day to day contact with a narcissist.

However, it's important for you to know that you do not have to be the victim of narcissism forever. You don't have to lose your confidence, self image, hope and passion for life because you are in a relationship with a narcissist. You can learn the skills to move beyond the downside effects of your narcissistic relationship and move on to a more normal relationship.

Stick with me now and I'll introduce you to what narcissism is, how to recognize if your partner may be a narcissist, how to deal with your narcissistic partner and protect yourself, and where you can get further top class information and help.

Narcissistic Relationships - An Introduction - Let's start with a short video that explains the basics of narcissistic relationships.

(don't worry, it's not professional gobbledygook, it's a straightforward practical introduction)

Narcissistic Relationships - The Signs Of Narcissism.

The first step is to recognise the signs.

Narcissists have a grandiose sense of self-importance, like they have a special mission on this earth and they often have a 'I am the emperor' type of personality, and they expect all others should behave as humble servants of their wishes.

They always exaggerate their achievements and talents making everything in their power to gain everybody's attention and recognition. Most of the times they are arrogant and self absorbed to fulfill what they see as their special destiny.

Narcissists will indulge in fantasies of tremendous power, success or beauty, being addicted to the attention and admiration that others manifest. You will find much snobbery between them which they do not deny it but rather be proud of it.

They see themselves as unique masterpieces. Complicated rather than complex personalities, they will find it difficult to empathize with other people.

They can't actually go out of the margins of their own personality, not understanding how people don't think the same as they do. That's why many times you may have the feeling of talking to a blank wall because no matter how deep you explain your point of view, most likely a narcissist will not understand.

They often can't maintain long relationships, because they lack empathy and most times people around them give up on explaining themselves over and over again.

Narcissists tend to transform their partners in beggars - you will beg for understanding and some unconditional attention but most of the time you will celebrate only leftovers from the feast in which the narcissist has indulged.

Narcissists expect and demand that the ones nearest and dearest to them, love, admire, tolerate, and cater to their needs. They expect others to be at their immediate disposal.

Narcissistic Relationships - You Must Protect Yourself!

This is your first priority if you have a narcissistic partner.

If you're in a narcissistic relationship it's essential that you protect yourself, from many areas that you will be under attack. Some of these types of abuse are:

Emotional Abuse:

The verbally abusive and controlling narcissist - the one who uses emotional abuse as his weapon of choice. He tells his victim who she can see, think and do. Or in the case of Janet, whose husband makes her recite every day, "I'm only worth 29 cents - the price of a bullet," and in doing so he erodes her self-worth to nothing to keep her under his control.

Who else could possible want such a worthless woman? With that belief formed, she will never leave him for good, although she makes many brief attempts to do so. The brainwashing that continues daily is emotionally exhausting, draining, and vastly unhealthy.

Verbal Abuse:

Verbal abuse is hurtful and usually attacks the nature and abilities of the partner. Over time, the partner may begin to believe that there is something wrong with her / her abilities. She may come to feel that she is the problem, rather than her partner.

Verbal abuse is often insidious. The partner's self-esteem gradually diminishes, usually without her realizing it's happening. She may consciously or unconsciously try to change her behavior so as not to upset the abuser.

Sexual Abuse:

Normally a narcissist stays within the law, but may break the rules of morality of a society. Narcissist are careful about it because, even if they do not feel guilty, they want to avoid the shame of discovery.

The sexual relationship with the narcissist is peculiar. Narcissists are exhibitionists and sex is just one further means of being admired to her or him. True intimacy doesn't and you will frequently feel used. The narcissist will demand that you subdue yourself to their wishes.

Physical Abuse:

Narcissistic individuals do not tend to be physically abusive although there are some out there that are. Their worst weapon is their mouth. With their mouth they spit verbal negations and dispense emotional abuse. Their vocal cords are their method of attempting to control others.

Narcissistic Relationships Can Be Improved.

(But it will take detailed knowledge and considerable effort.)

Since narcissists cannot be changed, you need to reevaluate your needs and long term goals for the relationship - it may be interesting for a while to be around such type of people but in the long run it gets exhausting and anger and resentment will overshadow any feelings of love and tenderness.

Don't give in to their never-ending demands, keep your independence from this type of person - if in any way you depend on them, they will blackmail you to make you give in to their desires.

Don't let yourself be infuriated by their lack of empathy or understanding - they are not capable of it. Showing them their incapacity will do nothing - they will blame you for everything that it doesn't work.

Narcissists will be attached to those that satisfy their needs but will never treat them as partners but as followers. They have the need to lead and be in control constantly - they do not need equals but disciples or pleasers. The worst thing that can happen is when one narcissist meets someone with low self-esteem - it will be the perfect victim and toy for them.

Finally, you need to decide when enough is enough. A relationship with a narcissist can take you places where you do not want to be, can make you behave in ways you do not recognize yourself . It can undermine your self esteem and will rob you of the attention you need to give to yourself trying to meet all their needs.

Narcissistic Relationships - Arm Yourself Now With Detailed Information.

(Add to the introductory information you've explored above)

Detailed knowledge can help you so you never are involved, ever again, in a continuing toxic relationship.

I hope the brief information above has helped you and that it prompts you to go on now to get the detailed information that will insure that your relationship moves quickly in a more positive direction.

I wish you every success and lasting happiness.

Experts Recommend:

All the experienced experts in preventing narcissistic abuse make two vital recommendations:

1) If at all possible, walk away (leave) your narcissistic abuser.

2) If that's not possible due to constraints of your employment, wider family, children or love, you must, repeat must, take advantage of the support and resources available to learn how to deal with a narcissist, and in doing so discover how to protect yourself from ongoing emotional, mental and sometimes physical harm.

Please take action TODAY to protect yourself!

Full Service Support For The Victims Of Narcissistic Abuse

Providing two excellent ebooks ready for immediate download, a free support and coaching forum, and individual counselling services, www.Stop-The-Abuse.info is my top recommendation for anyone in a narcissistic relationship.

Please take a moment and click the blue www.Stop-The-Abuse.info link above to learn more about your narcissistic relationship, how to protect yourself and how to deal with a narcissistic partner.

My Recommendation from Amazon - (Click the blue link below to look inside the book.)

In this book author Sandy Hotchkiss presents an excellent general description of narcissism and covers how to deal with the narcissists in our lives. Knowing the narcissist's weaknesses and tendencies will help you effectively deal with narcissism.

Share Your Experiences and Success With Others! - (or anything else you'd like!)

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: now that you know she is a Narcissist ask yourself why are you still with her, maybe you need to study more on what a NPD is If you allow her to belittle and make you feel guilty she will destroy you. She can never change the monster inside or maybe she is not an NDP but don't bet your life on it because it could cost you your life.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Echoing Steve's comment, it's odd that women are never mentioned as the narcissists. I am also with one, and I have been constantly emotionally blackmailed (the old do this or we can't be together any more) and get told I should be treating her like a princess and make her happy, without thinking about what I may have to go through to achieve that. I took it as just being spoilt at first but this article has made me realise it's a lot more than that. She demands I cut out any female contact (I have a lot of female friends), and she herself cuts out almost anyone without a second thought. It's difficult because she lives by her beliefs, it's just plain wrong. But she won't accept, or even respect my views. It was the inability to understand my view and inability to even respect it that got me stumped as to what the problem was, but the narcissism description seems to fit perfectly. For a sufferer of GAD, it has been extremely stressful and I often cave just to make things easier, but every time it makes things slightly worse.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Its really strange even in the articles and liteture about all this I find nowhere mentioning about woman narcissist. Iam with one that is so extreme it hurts but I totally love her regardless. I agree the communication part is totally true and its always after something said to hurt she will say something so deeply hurting not just name calling I mean personal to your heart about how she feels in love or even one time calling my past away mother a name. I always blamed it on temper but I notice and read some about his disorder and realized its not that they are bad people or evil they just view things differently and like it says I totally agree with they lack empathy. She has showed me love in many ways and its not all the time but if something is said she don't like there is no turning back and the blows start coming at me then when done I cannot even talk to her. I love her very much and after it all happens and she wants to talk again I want to discuss what really is going on are you cheating etc what is going on. This many times can start it over and I found out on my own through facts I found things I seen evidence she was not this I have no doubt so I would just say she has a bad temper. But after reading the information online I see she is a narcisist. She has at times admitted that I should never question her and that she cannot apologize she don't ever want to be wroing and sometimes will lie to be right and she has lied to me and admitted it then say I should just accept it and move on then I would say well can you at least promise you will never lie again she said no bluntly and said no one can promise this I broke up at this time. But then she would soften a little and because I love her would almost apologize for her in fear it would start again and she would not apologize. After two years of this she began to start this breaking up thing but soon after almost and actually a few times apologize it surprised me but no way to ever talk about it again or it would start it all over again. Then last two months or so it would be the worst episodes getting really mean for no reason just something I might say like I wanted to see her on skype while she was away and all that week she had silly excuses and I complained but not mean just that I missed her and was disappointed she became enraged and broke up saying I don't trust her etc etc. Now i recently told her I feel she has this it went through the roof and she said I was this way but I let her know she don't have to do anyting i will figure out a way to deal with it and she said that ok with her finally. She lately even started saying she don't love me but next day or so say she does love me and I should know that I love her. She believes if she hurts someone they should get over for themselves but has at times after saying this said she is not this way. She has flat out denied things she done knowing she admitted to it and halfway apologized. Anyway any comments out there I don't want to let her go but yet I don't want to be a doormat either. i truly love her in fact I don't think I ever been in love until I met her its like she is not always like this but anything can trigger it and here lately its seems almost anything I say will.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      I dealt with a narcissist's obsession with me for five years before it advanced to the point of sexual coercion, emotional abuse, and more. I never realized I was dealing with a narcissist until I was enlightened by this in therapy. I always knew a man, twice my age, with an obsession on me was weird; at the end of the five years I rejected him and the pain he caused me with half-truths and false promises, stalking and more, it all became clear, albeit too late to save my sanity.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: I agree. I ask very direct questions to attempt to solve our issues as best as I can and I always get an "I don't know" or "I don't care". It's just like talking to a wall and its SO frustrating!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: This sounds like a pattern ,as I too met a man almost 2 decades older than me, who was instantly attracted to me after a brief meeting. After about 2 months when I decided to commit he pulls away and only prefers to communicate via sms or emails. When I tried to leave him, he ropes me in again with sweet promises and wonderful ideas BUT only to cut me off when I became too close to him again. This went on for 2 years and what started out like a romantic relationship soon turn out more like I was sexually coerced most of the time. I really feel sick in the stomach every time when I think about this event that has happened in my life - how can I be so stupid to allow such an old fart to treat me this way! I'm just glad that I am finally free and I'm so happy to have found this website. This is a really fantastic website and I don't feel so alone anymore. Now I am trying to understand myself more and to find out what/why/how I could be attracted to a narcissist.

    • StopTheAbuseInfo profile image
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      StopTheAbuseInfo 4 years ago

      @anonymous: Congratulations Annie on beginning to take control back - especially of your self esteem. Be aware that narcissists are at their most dangerous when they sense they are losing control (which he may already have picked up on) and that you will need help to manage that. I suggest you click on the blue stop-the-abuse link above and take advantage of Kim's help and support.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      @anonymous: I have been married to a narcissist for 41 years. I problem is, my family adores him, and my son loves him. My daughter and I were almost destroyed y him. She cannot form a healthy relationship with a man because of self esteem issues. My sn is starting to imitatw his father's behavior. I did leave him when my children were younger , but my mother and older sister fell under his spell and convinved to retun for the sake of the children, I am currently seeing a counselor and am on medication. Last month, I decided to take control of my life. Narcissists love to distort their spouses reality to convince them they have the problem. At one time I loved my husbnd so much. I was a victim of low self esteem - perfect target-. My husband even was clever as deceiving my counselors. He would visit them without my knowledge. I began to learn everything I could about dealing with narcissists. As a result, I am getting better. I am clever at distorting his reality and have a healthier view of my self-worth. The problem is, I do not trust myself to ever love again, He is working hard to gain my love and trust, but I keep it just out of his reach. He has two brothers in healthy marriages and he is obsessed with imitating them.. I use that as my weapon. I really do not like the person I turned into, but I have to survive just one more year until I have enough financial independence to leave My leaving will be my final victory. He feels he is so wondeful, no woman would leave him.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @kevingomes13 lm: I totally agree !

    • JJNW profile image

      JJNW 5 years ago from USA

      I am just getting free from a self-centered and controlling husband. This is so true: "individuals in a relationship with a narcissist feel something is not 'quite right'" - I have been so baffled by the question "Why couldn't I see it for what it was?" The answer is that some of these people are so quietly manipulative that they seem like normal people that are sort of obnoxious sometimes. The truth is, things seem "off" because they really do not have your best interests at heart. You expect someone you love to have your best interests at heart, down deep. He did not, and so he had (and still has) no problem stepping on everyone else and hurting me and our children so he could feel in control and superior. Sad. And very hard to see for what it is.

      Good info. Thanks & ***Blessed by a SquidAngel***

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: I know how you feel ~ I deal with that also. My own family have made comments about how my partner doesn't respond to conversation or direct questions. He is more so that way with me, than others, but it does come out sometimes. I have learned to repeat what I have said, or out right ask if he heard me. I have also requested a response. I feel comfortable doing that. End the past he has become defensive, now I just say " it would be nice if I could get a mature response, you don't need to get defensive about it" I think Kim and Steve have a lot of good suggestions on how to handle "N's" behavior. So read up on some of their experiences and suggestions. It has helped me and others. Being involved with a "N" is very difficult. It is all about what you want and what you can deal with. The "N" partner can be very selfish and has a hard time connecting emotionally. All of us are very confused at times when it comes to our "N" partner. I too feel confused a lot of the time.. but I have been following some of Kim and Steve's suggestions and have seen a change in me and him. More so me... I have become who I use to be... I don't rely on him to make me feel content or happy. The "N" partner are wired differently than most of us. They like to play those games, withhold love, affection, stare at other females, conversation, saying sorry, they need to feel as though they are controlling things. It is not you, you are doing what is healthy. Being loving, caring, affectionate and communicating is how it should be. Unfortunately that is not how the "N" partner will always be. They are difficult, but if you truly want to stay with your partner then you need to make the major changes and then you just might see some little changes in your "N" partner. Stay focused on you and your family. Hang in there and don't let him bring you down... Take care and my prayers are with you....

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Thanks soooo much for posting your thoughts and story .. Free and happy,.

      It sounds a lot like mine. I am in the trauma of divorcing my N after 15 years of marriage and I have to say it is hell. Only others that have lived it understand. The thing that made me connect with you was the pedestal, not needing to work, apart from for him and his business and the sex and emotional blackmail. I have a questioned myself a thousand times,,, as I am a giver of care, love and empathy , and feel used. Still going through missing the technicolor life, everything is bland now, and my own realisation that I am quite emotional , and probably also a needy person and that is why it is sooooo difficult letting go ,,, for me! I struggle with leaving as I have been " taken Care of" and played that role for 15 years. I know I also need to own my part in it as perhaps a co dependant type person, and therefore also perhaps a perfect target for a N.

      I have worked very hard on my own healing in this process and discovered things about me to help heal, something am N would never truly commit to. I asked my N regarding this and he did not even Adresse it. Self healing is very important to be able to move on, but It Does Not Feel Better Yet!!!I wonder how long it will take and I still have doubts as to what is better, lifestyle and caring for N or losing Everything and starting over with no money and really, really poor and at the lowest I have ever felt? Just asking as I know how this dance with N works , but after all this time have no idea how to manage out there with nothing. I am 56 and have no money saved and will get nothing from N . He will get a " million dollar" house . The courage all of us who have been involved with a N is amazing!!!

    • StopTheAbuseInfo profile image
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      StopTheAbuseInfo 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Gail, hit the blue stop-the-abuse.info link above. There's a very good section at Kims narcissism support site that will answer your questions.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I am very curious.. why don't narcissist like to talk? They have no desire to communicate, why. When he does it has to be about him. If it is a topic he feels threatened by he will go into a rage. He has to control things, doesn't give direct answers, makes one feel lost. There is no final decision, he keeps people guessing. Why so many games with them? Very confused....

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: This is just fascinating and so affirming! I am in the process of divorcing my narcissistic wife. We have been married for a little over five years and I have been in a severely deep depression for most of that time. I did everything!!!! She was incredibly lazy, drank too much, smoked pot constantly (even when she said she had quit because she wanted to have a child!), spent the first three and a half years of our marriage drinking at bars with her "friends", and lied pathologically. We never, and I mean never, had an actual conversation. If we were not talking about her then she would lose interest immediately. Real intimacy is not possible without communication. Relationships with narcissists are insidious and absolutely toxic! You must get out. I finally caught her cheating (she had probably done it numerous times before) and that gave me the strength to get out! I know one day I will wake up and realize I have been given a new lease on life!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: You will be better than fine. Hold your head high, be proud you are not like her. But, also be humble, feeling pain that shes in such pain. Its not you one spec. They project their own self hate onto anyone and everyone. My heart hurts for them. Im actually married to one but God has begun to open his heart. I simply never let what i call ,rediculious , effect my mature degnified manner i choose to give the world. Its lack of maturilty and surley not a magnetic person which i choose to be. You to will be ok

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Hi Free and Happy, Sorry you had to go through such a difficult time. It is your time now though. You deserve to be happy, have respect, love and a true relationship. Good luck and enjoy your future... God Bless... :)

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I am recently divorced from a 14 year marriage to a narcissist. I long described him as selfish and self centered but after reading this information I realize he is simply a narcissist to his very core. Our first 3 years together were not so bad. What I didn't realize was that he was just grooming me to be the perfect 'victim' and perfecting his degrading and controlling skills. He put me on a pedestal, seemed to admire, appreciate and applaud everything I did and was even very generous. I was so 'happy' and oblivious that I never even realized what was happening and before I knew it, I had become completely stuck. He convinced me that I didn't need to work, he alienated me from my friends and family, and before long he controlled nearly every aspect of my life from what I wore to where I went and even 100% of our finances and money. I was at his mercy and he used that to emotionally blackmail me on a daily basis. As long as I was feeding his ego with praise or sex, my life was okay. But the minute he felt he wasn't getting enough of either the verbal and psychological abuse would explode. He was never violent with me and there are times I think I wish that he would have just knocked me out rather than have to listen to his hours of ranting about how worthless I was and how I owed everything to him and without him I would be nothing.

      I do not know where I found the courage to finally divorce him but I did eventually and I started breathing easier the very moment I drove that moving truck out of the driveway! It has been six months since that day and I have never been happier. I personally don't know why anyone would want to 'try' and make a relationship with that kind of person 'work'. I agree that marriage and relationships require work but love and happiness should not be that difficult and if someone chooses to be in a relationship with a narcissist then they will be the only one putting forth the effort. How is that fair? I want a partnership. Not a challenge!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Hi, I have just ended a 2 1/2 year 'friendship' with a N and I am getting a barage of abusive denegrading emails from her. EVERYTHING you have written above describes the hell I have been through for these years. I feel so anxious, and scared. This is about the seventh time I have tried to walk away, but this time I have to for my own mental and spiritual health. She is blasting me with accusations, condemnations and insults, just like all the material says a N will do when you want to get free of them. Thanks for this blog. I hope I recover. I am shaken.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I left my 2nd husband after 12 troubled years. He was so needy. You could never have a conversation with him - it was a monologue that could last for an hour or more. I finally took up embroidery so I would have something to do while he talked. When I talked on the phone he would constantly be loudly interjecting, and frequently I would just hand him the phone and walk away. He was threatened by even the barest hint of criticism, real or imaginary, and found my successes intolerable. One of his favorite jobs for me was to hold the flashlight (steady) while he worked under the hood of the car. This gave him countless opportunities to criticize - 'Can't you even do something as simple as holding a flashlight still?' Oh, and you are so right! He could never just have fun, that would be way too out of control. Everything was a fierce, cutthroat competition. Almost all of the topics that married couples routinely discuss were taboo subjects. I was a servant in our household and even though we bolth held full time jobs, I did all the housework and house maintenance, yard work, laundry, shopping, cooking and dishes, and early on in the marriage I gave up asking for help when a proposal of mine where I suggested that we work out a division of household duties caused him to fly into a rage. I suffocated for 12 years. When I was diagnosed with cancer and subsequently had surgery and chemotherapy, he was not supportive and never even told his family. And yes, sex was peculiar. He never remembered my birthday, our anniversary or valentine's day. And just as your article stated, you are left with no alternative except to have no expectations.

    • StopTheAbuseInfo profile image
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      StopTheAbuseInfo 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Dee, have a look again at the signs of narcissism listed in this lens. If your partner is displaying 60% or so of those signs he may well be a narcissist and you need to get support through the Stop-The-Abuse link above.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Hi, this is my first time reading about this. It sounds like the man I am with now is a narcissist. I am not sure though, I don't want to label him if he is not. He feels nothing is his fault. He blames his mistakes on others all the time. He seems to make bad choices in his life even at the age of 47; getting a female pregnant that is 16 years younger. He plays games when it comes to her, making me doubt us with the texting. He makes up excuses to not do things with me, even though the excuses are not true. He says things to me while talking and then says he never said them. When we talk about commitment he starts a big fight that doesn't make since. He wants everything in his house done a certain way and if it is not you hear about it, constantly. He complains about working, money, people, retiring he just complaims about everything regarding life/people. I am mentally exhausted trying to keep positive and dealing with his mental games. He doesn't seem happy ever.. One minute he is ok and everything is good with us and then he is a totally different person. Sometimes I think he is bipolar but I don't think so. Is he a narcissist?

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Im 43 in divorce one daughter...hes still controlling trying to take full custody...hearwrenching

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      In the beginning, I found my narcissist to be a "fun ride". But, it became a very bumpy roller coaster. Glad to discover that I'm not crazy!

    • inspirehislovef profile image

      inspirehislovef 5 years ago

      It can feel like an emotional roller coaster that may never end with someone with NPD. I know, I've been there. Thanks for this inspiring lens and info for support that you provided! bravo!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: I am exactly the same. I left him 2 years ago now and couldn't understand how we got to where we did until someone told they thought he was a narcissist. It explains everything and I cannot believe that I didn't see it for so long until now. My two children even see it so much that they want no contact with there father because of the way he makes them feel.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      This is a good lens with many thought provoking points being made. Self love is SUCH an important thing and in the presence of a narcissism, it can seem downright impossible to maintain and promote. Healthy relationships are the key to a healthy life!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I just sat here and read this and can barely see through the tears! After 20 years, I took our 3 children and left! Now I finally understand that it IS NOT me!!! No matter what he said! No matter what he talked me into! I am so disgusted with myself!

    • StopTheAbuseInfo profile image
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      StopTheAbuseInfo 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Erica, the signs are listed above under 'Narcissistic Relationships - The Signs Of Narcissism.'

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Are there any signs i can look out for while actually dating, so I don't get myself into a relationship to start with? Perhaps some questions I could ask them or as I said some signs.

    • karen550 lm profile image

      karen550 lm 5 years ago

      Wow! There is a lot here to think about. It seems that I run into a lot of these type of guys. Great lens. Thanks for the help!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I was in a relationship with a narsistic person and ihave been free for almost a year. Everything they say about these people are true after nine yrs thank god he gave me the strength to start walking and never to go back. He keeps trying to get back into my life but i told him to save his tricks and his lies for a new fool because i was done. He treated me like the dirt of the earth but its all behind me now.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      WOW!!! I can't tell you how relieved to find out the answers to what has puzzled me for the past two years from a 6 mo. relationship that I had with someone I fell madly in love with. NPD describes this man to a T.....and I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what happened. I knew nothing about this kind of disease before and after reading about it....it was like an open book to what just happened to me. I have been thinking these past 2 yrs that I just wasn't good enough...when he is the one with the problem. I have been praying for the past two yrs. asking God to show me what was really going on...and one day a friend of mine mentioned the "N" word and that started the ball rolling. Thanks for your help and keep the blog up!!!!

    • StopTheAbuseInfo profile image
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      StopTheAbuseInfo 5 years ago

      @RosemaryB: The word narcissism comes from the Greek myth of Narcissus. Narcissus was a handsome Greek youth who rejected the desperate advances of the nymph Echo. As punishment, he was doomed to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Unable to consummate his love, Narcissus "lay gazing enraptured into the pool, hour after hour", and finally changed into a flower that bears his name, the narcissus.[1]

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      RosemaryB 5 years ago

      It is such a convoluted word. Where does it come from? What word is it based on?

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      kevingomes13 lm 5 years ago

      I just realized recently that you can't change a narcissist, but you can change yourself.

    • SecondHandJoe LM profile image

      SecondHandJoe LM 5 years ago

      What an enlightening lens.Thanks for writing it so well!

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      StopTheAbuseInfo 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Silverfox, thank you for your kind words! I'm so impressed that, despite the pain of your situation, you have taken the time to comment as you have. Rest assure that I will be keeping this blog active. I feel very privileged to have been of assistance to so many people who are suffering the emotional, and sometimes physical, abuse from a narcissist and feel very rewarded to see that so many readers have gone on to take the pro-active step of be using the support service I've recommended to improve their life.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I cannot begin to express my gratitude towards this website and how insight it is regarding the Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I was a young girl when I first met my husband of thirty years. I was in college finishing a bachelor of arts degree in health education with a bright future when I met my husband. He had no college education, no future, an orderly in a local hospital when he latched on to my life. We married in a year and I can honestly say, I was a whirlwind romance. He was VERY ATTENTIVE, CONTROLLING, PARASITIC, in the terms of dominating every area of my life. I did not nor wanted to see the signs because I was gradually falling in love with him. It"s been thirty years. My career has been derailed due to raising two children, one with a physical disability. They are grown now and I am faced with reconstructing my life, by myself. My husband has cleverly ousted out of our marriage because his trade and skill demands that he travels around as an independent contractor to work. His commitment level is low, his concern is almost non-existent as to what I do with my life, after thirty years. He only confides in me when HE IS IN TROUBLE OR DOES NOT UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THAT WOULD DIRECTLY AFFECT HIM. He is cold, cruel and downright, disrespectful, when it comes to my feelings about the future of our relationship. In reflection, being married to him, was like being married to a sub-human being, a devil. PLEASE KEEP THIS BLOG GOING TO FOREWARN OTHERS OF THIS INSIDIOUS KIND OF HUMAN BEING WHO IS PREDATORY in nature and dangerous emotionally. GOD WILL HELP ME OVERCOME THIS SITUATION IN TIME.

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      ammyanne 5 years ago

      Wow. That's my ex. Except he managed to hit me on avg.2-3 x/ yr. Just infrequently enough to explain it away as something i brought about. Broken up over 3&1/2 yrs.& Im still waking up... Good luck all, & avoid narcissists like the plague!!!!

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      I am 53 - still a very pretty, active female - who moved in with mother (I think I might have made a big mistake!) in 2004 after my wonderful daddy passed away. Mom is very hard to get along with - narcissists want to be in control and use their manipulative attitude to get what they want. I am getting a little tired of her moods. Or maybe she is getting dementia? Whatever it is, I just don't know if I can handle it much longer. Mom threatened if I moved out to never contact her again. Frankly it would not matter to me. Is anyone else dealing with this same situation? Of the 3 siblings, mom changed her will to leave the house to me. I am in the middle of making home renovations and need to decide to stick it out, suck it up or get the heck out. Thank you, Sandra from Delaware.

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      Ayngel Overson 6 years ago from Crestone, Co

      This is an excellent example of how to do a well thought out and informative sales lens. The information is fantastic. Blessed!!!

    • StellaSingles profile image

      StellaSingles 6 years ago

      It isn't easy, but an abusive and dangerous relationship can not be left alone. Communication is the best defense against the dangers associated with these types of relationships. If you're in trouble, get help - don't let it manifest into something larger. If you're concerned about something, talk with you partner. If they love you they'll understand. If they don't, perhaps the door is where you should be walking.

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Another very well written lens with a ton of good information. Some of it is a bit repetitive of your first lens, but this one presents a lot of new ideas and information. I commend you on the initiative you have taken to help those who are in this type of abusive relationship. Another 5*