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Deciding to have children? Read on.

Updated on May 13, 2015

To have or not to have children

There are a number of things you should be aware of before you decide to have or not to have children. If you are in this group of people for whom having/not having children is a subject for discussion, you might find the following points of value.

For most people, having children is a no-brainer. They're doing it because they feel an overwhelming desire to have their own children. It is not a matter of choice as such; the feelings telling them to procreate are so strong, no discussion on the pros and the cons is needed.

However, for some people this may be different. Some couples are not sure if having children is entirely for them as they do not feel an overwhelming irrational need to have a family. It may be that they are not financially and emotionally ready for such a step but these couples tend to procreate when the time is right because essentially they've wanted to have children and it was only a matter of timing.

The next group is couples who never get to that point; there is always something happening preventing them from starting a family; and these couples are the ones who would be better off not having children at all. If you cannot put having a child first, you will simply find it very difficult to cope with 20 years of child-rearing during which period you will find that most of the time you will have to put your child's needs first.

So, this being said, what are the things you should know to help you decide whether to have children?

Before you have children, be aware that:

  • children will swallow up all your energy for years to come
  • your own identity will be eroded by the incessant needs of your children
  • you will be emotionally, physically and financially drained
  • no matter how much you earn, all your income, in one way or another, will go to your children
  • your relationship with your significant other will change and not always for the better
  • you will have very limited time to devote to your needs
  • you will spend most of your time looking after your children in one way or another
  • your time at home will be spent doing repetitive, mind-numbing and very boring but necessary tasks
  • your personal appearance will suffer following the births of your children (mummies and daddies) as you will have almost no time for upkeep
  • mummy's figure will NEVER regain its natural beautiful pre-birth shape - whether you're petite or a bigger girl, things are just never the same
  • while at the beginning you and your significant other will be so in love with your newly-minted offspring, the deal does wear off gradually as your beautiful baby turns into a person with needs and personality traits you may not appreciate
  • although you will love your child in an all consuming way - trust me, unless you have a child, you don't really know what love is - if you choose not to have a child, you will not know what you're missing so this by definition is a moot point
  • you will become obsessed with your child for a few years and this will make you quite a boring person to be around so you will find yourself socializing with people in the same position as you only and this also wears off
  • by the time your child has entered barely into its second decade, parenting will have worn off to a large extent if not entirely but there isn't an escape (yet); you still have the teenage years to suffer through and suffer you will
  • teenage years will DESTROY you...

... and on that note, I will sign off this list and leave you to make up your own mind.

The one thing you REALLY need to know before you have children

If you do not have the "fire in the belly" for this, do NOT do this! Having children IS people's life's work so if you're not feeling it, don't do it. It is simply too much of a commitment to go into if you're not sure so if you're having doubts, you're probably better off not doing it at all. Your unborn children will thank you.


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