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One Man's Befuddlement Over Womankind

Updated on September 21, 2014

A Great Line from Jack Nicholson in "As Good As It Gets"

Has any man who dared to argue with his lady ever emerged with his case happilly settled? Hmmmm. Let's see. What are the odds of tranquility resulting from dropping a hornets nest into a snake pit? Yeah, slim to none. Perhaps men can gain some insight into this question from the words of actor Jack Nicholson in the movie "As Good as it Gets". When asked by a woman "how do you know to write about women so well?" he replied with what all guys oughta engrave on a plaque and erect a shrine around.

This epitome into the idiosyncrasies of femininity was: "I think of a man, then take away reason and accountability". An elucidating revelation if ever there was one, no? Right or wrong is irrelevent guys. When dealing with a lady's emotions, you have transgressed her precious sensitivities, and no amount of logic is ever going to translate into forgiveness for that. Fortunately, evolution has blessed men with the ability to adapt while they grapple with their understanding of the fairer gender. This article shows the lighter side of learning to live and love the ladies in our lives. By all means, PLEASE READ ON....

See Jack's epic retort on this Youtube clip

Jack Nicholson Collection

Reason? Fuhgedaboutit...

Face it guys, women get to play by a set of rules which men can only dream of trying to get away with. A guy can tout his airtight, indisputable case to his lady all day long, but when was the last time doing that ever made a difference? No, by the time your case has reached the altercation stage, your lady's values will be well ensconced in the feminine realm of "feelings". At that point, if the guy ever hopes to get back into her good graces, then inevitably he shall wind up apologizing to her, preferably upon his knees. But, your case was irrefutable? That is of "mere consequence" compared to your "boarish zeal" in trying to substatiate yourself to her. As far as "being right" is concerned, in no way, shape, or form is that ever going to enhance your prospects of winning over a lady's "feelings". You might as well take solice in an Eastcoast idiom describing the only course of action you have remaining: "Fuhgedaboutit!"

Hey, I've stepped in it also with the ol' "but honey, if you look at it this way, surely you will see the logic.....". Stop! Wrong! That aint never gonna fly, and trying to drone that home will only get you into deeper hot water with those "feelings". If a man fails to yield here, odds are the woman's defense arsenal will soon brandish an emotional release the likes of which he will desperately wish he had sought refuge from. And if that doesn't shut the guy up, she may even pull out the dreaded feminine trump card and turn on the waterworks. Caution guys, if you think you can handle that, think again. Many a brave man who opted out of diving on their knees for forgiveness, changed their minds soon after cowering in submision to her merciless tears. Nah, guys if you want to get somewhere in these situations, you'll hafta try to picture yourself strapping on a braziere to get into her mindset. Forget about steak, sports cars, and swimsuit models, and start dreaming about dainty frills, cuddly bunnies, and butterflies dancing on dafodils. If you can do that, you have established common grounds upon which communication with your lady can be re-attempted.

Good luck on that by the way. Not many guys can relate to their feminine side. And even if they can, half the time that's still no gaurantee of letting them off the hook easilly. At least when a guy is broad-sided by emotions and waterworks, he sees it coming and can take cover. Not so if she opts for "the silent treatment". In that case the guy goes merrilly about his business believing he is getting along splendidly with his lady, until an eery sense of the atmosphere choking begins to make itself apparent. Pretty soon its "Uh, oh! I remember the last time she was this quiet, what did I do this time?!" We all make the mistake of asking "anything wrong honey?" only to be made painfully aware of our lack of psychic skills from her sure to follow "If you have to ask, then that's what's wrong!" Right then and there you know you've committed some sort of cardinal sin for which no earthly reprieve exists, but you can't for the life of you figure out what that sin was. Don't try reasoning it out here. You'll hafta forego your manly repertoire and try something completely alien to your base instincts. Please read on.

(Humor) Poker Face Poopsie Makes Ol' Windbag Look Silly

Have a laugh at my expense. See how easily she makes me the brunt of the joke by applying the dreaded "silent treatment" and leaving me to bask in my own "hot air". Touche' Baby :-)

Can a Man Identify with his "Feminine Side" !?

Nothing like personal experience to illustrate a point. On occasion, I might comment on something my beloved wife is doing and naively assume the comment is casual. Then I'll be contently going along thinking everything is dandy, when out of the blue the earth tumbles into a wild shift off of its axis! "Whoa!" I'll think while grapling with the realization that the source of this sudden predicament is my wife's explosive disposition. No point asking "whodunit?!" Clearly I "dunnit", if only I knew what in blazes I "done". Know what I do then? Here's where I reveal my secret to a successful marriage. First I eat a lotta crow, and swallow a hefty piece of my pride. Then, I reach deep under my metaphorical braziere cup and plead with my heart for a peek into my [*ahem* *cough*] "feelings". Before long, my view of the world is filtered as though I had the same delightfully mascara adorned eyes as those of my wife. Uncanny how that can change a man. Now my own sensitivities are such that I am prepared to try the unthinkable, namely, singing my way out of the doghouse. I'll pick something romantic like Luther Vandros "Always and Forever", and find myself slowly winning her over again. And I'll let you in on another little secret. My singing is about as pleasing to the ear as a gaggle of geese squawking their way through a wood chipper. Surprisingly though, that doesn't seem to matter too much, because its all about getting in touch with your heart and expressing those confounded "feelings". Learn 'em guys. They work. Go figure. Who knew?


Video: How many guys would do this? - "Green Guy" gets in touch with his (*cough*) feminine side?!

Yeah guys, staying in her good graces, sometimes means having to think beyond your normal comfort zone. Are you too manly to let her doll you up with a cosmetic treatment? I gave it a shot. It wasn't so bad.My mug could do with some improvement anyway. Feel free to have a bit of a laugh at my expense, but do also take away a lesson here about taking a hit for the team.

Taking a hit for the team is *ahem* a manly thing to do

Relationship Therapy Questionnaire

Some say a man should generally be the one to apologize to his lady, even when he has done no wrong. From a pragmatic viewpoint, this might clear the air for a while. Apologizing might in fact be more important than culpability if the disagreement involved emotions. However, routinely caving in could mask more fundamental underlying issues for which the relationship might be better off if they were dealt with to fruition.

How often should a man give in with "yes dear", "no, dear", "absolutely dear", "I'm sorry dear" regardless of fault ?

© 2011 Vortrek Grafix

Guestbook Comments

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    • Vortrek Grafix profile imageAUTHOR

      Vortrek Grafix 

      4 years ago

      @tonyleather: I suspect it's more than most guys are willing to admit, but probably not as much as the lady's in lives would like (*grin*). Thanks for the visit Tony.

    • profile image

      tonyleather 

      4 years ago

      Amusing lens, though how many men willingly get in touch with their so-called feminine side is surely up for debate?

    • Vortrek Grafix profile imageAUTHOR

      Vortrek Grafix 

      5 years ago

      @julieannbrady: And a harmonious meeting it can certainly be. While we embrace what we have in common, we also find that having a welcoming disposition towards each other differences can also enrich the relationship.

    • profile image

      julieannbrady 

      5 years ago

      Ah, men are from Mars and women are from Venus and occasionally the planets meet.

    • cjbmeb14 lm profile image

      cjbmeb14 lm 

      5 years ago

      My wife wins every argument.

    • WriterJanis2 profile image

      WriterJanis2 

      6 years ago

      Thumbs up!

    • OliviaDaughter LM profile image

      OliviaDaughter LM 

      6 years ago

      Great lens.

    • Vortrek Grafix profile imageAUTHOR

      Vortrek Grafix 

      6 years ago

      @anonymous: Hi Serene Sea. Yes, I agree. Being right or wrong pales in comparison to the importance of a life-long, happy and healthy relationship. Flexibility and understanding are the key, and with the right two people these are naturally reciprocated. Thank you so much for your input.

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      6 years ago

      You are so right .."The Ladies are always right" and by mistake also you should not win the argument. For God's sake let her be the winner and you two will be happy forever.

    • Vortrek Grafix profile imageAUTHOR

      Vortrek Grafix 

      6 years ago

      @happynutritionist: Quite right, we are all different. Understanding each others innocent little differences can actually enrich the relationship, as this allows a couple to share a greater number of experiences in common.

    • profile image

      happynutritionist 

      6 years ago

      :-) This would be a good opposite view to my 10 tips on how to understand you husband lens. We are all so different...some rules apply and some depend upon the individual.

    • Vortrek Grafix profile imageAUTHOR

      Vortrek Grafix 

      6 years ago

      @jaredsgirl: And thank you. It's always a pleasue to exchange notes with another lensmaster who has similar interests.

    • jaredsgirl profile image

      jaredsgirl 

      6 years ago

      Cute lens! Thanks for sharing.

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