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10 Creative Ways to Get Rid of that Pesky Admirer!

Updated on May 07, 2009

100% Effectiveness Guaranteed

1) Seem interested, get their number. Call their house everyday at 1:23 am, and make noises that sound like the Grudge.

2) Walk up to them. Say “You, ma’am, are ugly!” and then walk away. Say Sir if it’s a girl.

3) Tell them you’re gay (or straight, if you’re gay).

4) Tell them you’re allergic to whatever hair colour they are.

5) Whenever they come within a close vicinity of you, scream “NO MEANS NO!” at the top of your lungs, and run away.

6) Lean over to them. Belch in their face. Resume whatever you were doing before.

7) Go on a date with them. At the end of the date, pull them close, grab them by the throat and whisper in their ear “If you ever leave me I’ll kill myself, and you.”

8) Go on a date with them. Show up, say hi and then leave.

9) Tell them you only date people who can lick their elbow. Watch them try and laugh.

10) Tell them you have tourettes and attention deficit disorder. Proceed to run around them in circles while swearing profusely.

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