- Gender and Relationships
Single Girl Checklist, Are you Ready for Marriage
© 2012 Katina Davenport
The institution of marriage may be seen as an antiquated system on its way to ruin for 60% of Americans; however, there are men and women that still desire to be married. Those that want to be married don’t just want a marriage, they want a great marriage. Making a great marriage last takes a lot of work. There are those that can withstand the storms of life-sickness, infidelity, and joblessness. On the other hand, some may find the work of marriage a bit too unbearable.
From a woman’s perspective, I know the ugly feelings of being a good wife in a bad marriage; and I know what it feels like to be a good wife in a great marriage. Experience is the greatest teacher. I have learned the importance of due diligence. Looking at situations, people, and business ventures a little more closely has helped me make smarter choices.
If you are a single woman, not dating; but desire to be married ask yourself these questions to know if you are ready.
Am I marriage material?
What is marriage material? The answer to this question goes beyond domestication. That has its place and purpose. A well-rounded wife knows a little about something in many areas. She has management and organizational skills that enables her to manage a home, business, and relationship.
A woman that is marriage material has her emotions intact. She doesn’t lose her temper or use her emotions to manipulate her husband. It is better to have emotional stability before considering venturing out on a quest to find marriage.
Do I know a good man when I see him?
Integrity, honesty, and trustworthiness are characteristics of a quality mate usually found towards the bottom of the “what I want in a husband list.” It is the impossible list of traits that most men don’t live up to. For example, some women have extremely high income requirements, dress requirements, and even specific height requirement. While high standards is a great thing, the important part to remember is that a good man will have a good job and a good heart.
Am I willing to become one?
How can two people become one? The answer is simple, agreement. You will have to be willing to be in agreement on major decisions with your spouse. When there is disagreement within the marriage there will be discord. Becoming one with your husband will require practice and patience. It will take time to know your husband. It doesn’t happen overnight.
Can I get my feelings hurt and still love him?
Your knight in shining armor will say or do something that will hurt your feelings. Most of the time he will not intentionally try to hurt you. He might unintentionally call you fat. He may say something in the wrong tone of voice during a heated argument. When your feelings are hurt you will still have to muster up the courage to continue to be the loving wife that he needs.
Will I be able to handle the responsibility of being a wife?
Being a wife is a 24 hour job with no breaks or vacations. The real work begins the day after the honeymoon is over. Real life is full of the same things you experienced while single multiplied by two. You will find your laundry loads doubled, more dishes to do, and more meals to cook. If you work outside the home your husband will expect those things to be done regardless of any other obligations. Expect to be tired all the time. Add small children to the mix and you will be running on empty.
Why do I want to be married?
What is the real reason for wanting to be married? Be honest with yourself. Are you looking for love, companionship, or financial security? Your answer could determine what kind of man you will be attracted to and the kind of marriage you will have. For example, after my divorce and after I waited for a while, I found myself wanting to be married again. I wanted to give and receive the love that wasn’t present in my first marriage. I wanted to share my life with someone. I wanted to experience a real family. I ended up marrying the most loving and affectionate man that I ever met. From him and his family I gained lessons about the bond of unconditional love that are found in good families. I have been able to share my life experiences with him. He learns from me and vice versa.
Can I forgive?
Having a forgiving heart is important in marriage. There is always something to forgive your husband for. Whether it’s for lying about going to the ballgame or spending too much money; you have to be willing to forgive.
Can I submit to my husband?
There are so many ways of looking at this word. Usually, submission is a very ugly word to women. They think of being enslaved, doing menial tasks from a hard taskmaster. Submissive women are stigmatized as weak, but it takes a strong woman to be humble. This word has been used against women to strong-arm them into obedience. Submission is simply being one that is willing to be in agreement. Both the husband and the wife should be humble enough to be in agreement with one another; otherwise, there will be two prideful people arguing all the time.
Can I be faithful?
If you find yourself ogling over men all the time, have a problem with flirting, and being enticed by men then you may not be ready for marriage. Being married means you will be with one person for the rest of your life.
If you can answer these questions positively, with assurity then marriage may be in your future.