- Gender and Relationships
Preparing for marriage 2
PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE 2
One of the most frustrating thing is for you to be talking and no one to listen. Its a known fact that the woman love the man to do the listening while she does the talking. When the man doesn't give her a hearing ear, she will definitely look for it else where and it may lead her to start gossiping. Peter said in 1peter 3 verses 7
'likewise ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto her as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
It takes knowledge to dwell together as a man and wife. Many live together as room mates. They just live together but they don't dwell together. Some times when the woman greets the man in the morning, he will just answer with his nose. Some even dress their own side of the bed when they wake up. The only thing they share in common is the shelter over their head. They are married and at the same time lonely because knowledge is absent.If you are not ready to listen as a husband then better not get married. Women are blessed with verbal power and if a man decides to follow what a woman is saying, he will soon commit murder. By the time a man tells his wife 'why did you prepare this food like this, is this how your mother taught you' Then the woman will reply 'my mother, OK, its your own great grand mother they didn't train her well'
On the other hand, men are people of few words. They are logical beings but women are emotional being. The men don't talk too much but they believe in expressing or communicating most of the times through action.The man is always thinking on how to pay the children's school fees, pay the house rent and some other bills that he ought to settle, so he doesn't have such time to talk rather he spends much time to think a way out. Men believe in news in brief. They dont have time for much details. A man came back from work and the wife asked him "honey how was your day? all he said was just fine. They only give you headline. But let the woman come back and the man ask how her day went. This will be her reply "sweetheart this kind of thing is not what we will discuss while standing, sit down first" she will start downloading everything that happened from the moment she left the house. A man that lacks understanding will hush her " woman will you keep quite" and when you do that, you have killed her. The only way to access this gender difference is to access knowledge.
As you are preparing for marriage, make out time to cultivate quality character. The bible said that favour is deceitful and beauty is vain but a virteous woman who can find. It is character that sustains beauty. Without character, beauty will fade away. The bible says that it is better to dwell in one corner of the roof top than to live in the same house with a nagging or contentious woman. It is character that either sustains or destroy beauty. If you don't control your anger as a single, it will destroy your marriage. Character is like the smoke which cannot be hidden no matter how much you try to hide it. The best thing to do is not to hide your character but to deal with it.Learn to control the way you behave. You have self control because you have a self that can be controlled. Whatever you cant control have become demonic. If their is something men don't like, one of them must be when women argue with them. When you husband is talking, you shut him up with your won words.
As you are preparing for marriage, remember to take care of your outward appearance. Your appearance can make someone reject your manifesto.Some people have become so heaven minded that they know what is happening around them. Some don't even boarder to brush their teeth because of so called spirituality. You will almost greet in tongues.Don't let your mouth to be smelling. Take time to learn about colour combination. Don't go and put on red suit, green shirt with a blue tie and you are looking like a fire man.When you dress this way and approach a sister to propose to her, she will immediately tell you that the Lord have not spoken to her. As a lady also learn colour combination. Learn to walk like a lady and not like a man. As a woman learn how to cat walk,even if u can't cat walk, please try Elephant walk. Your marriage will be exactly what you make it to be.
When a woman is happy she can cry and when she is sad she can also cry. Its all part of her make up as a woman.Some people that have been married for more than fifteen years cant even remember the last time they looked at their wife eyeball to eyeball and told her " honey or my treasure i love you". Some funny men will say, well its in my heart. I know very well that i love her.If its in your heart it have to come out through your mouth for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. It is what you have in your heart that your mouth will voice out. A woman's life begins to blossom when her husband begins to shoe her love. When your wife dresses up in the morning and comes in front of you and spines around don't tell her what are you doing, what is the meaning of this. She just want you to admire and say something to her. No matter who have admired her until her husband does it, she wont be satisfied. Some mean men will rebuke her " don't you know we are late for church". You don't know what you are supposed to do. At that moment you are expected to express love to her. The more you show her love, the more you bring out the best in her and the more you show her bitterness the more you bring out the worst in her. Just tell her that she is a lioness, by the time you come back, something else will be waiting for you at home.The bible made us to know that we will have whatsoever we say, and whatsoever name Adam called the animals, that was their name thereof. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God and love comes from hearing and hearing words of love from the partners.People have perished and are destroyed due to lack of knowledge.
Before getting into marriage, make sure you develop quality relationship with God. When you have a quality relationship with God, you wont be under pressure. Irrespective of your age, you will not be moved by the situations and circumstances. When you are in a walk with God and you are engaged then the person walks up to you to tell you that that relationship will no longer hold. You don't start crying, just give glory to God because he is about to do a new thing for you but when you are not walking with God you will certainly feel the pain. I have heard of people who lost their mind because an engagement was broken and that's a stupid thing to do. If you starting crying without stop and loose your mind when one man out of billions of men in the world said he doesn't love you anymore, what will you do when you find the one that truly love you. If someone has said no to you relax millions are waiting to say yes to you.
Some broken engagements are deliverance's in disguise. what would have happened in your marriage in five years time,God saw it ahead of time so He delivered you from it. That man would have kicked you out and brought in another woman. Its far better to have a broken relationship or engagement than to have a broken marriage.
Another way to prepare for marriage is to know Gods plans and purpose for your life. You are on earth to fulfill a specific assignment. When you don't know where you are going to, everyone is free to give you a direction. Take time as a single to find out your purpose before getting married. Your purpose will also help you in your choice of a partner.