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Pros And Cons Of Interracial Relationship

Updated on September 6, 2016

New York City has the reputation of being an international hub of the world. Walk down the streets of New York City and you can see: Indian hands holding African-American hands, Caucasian hands holding Indian hands, Oriental hands holding African-American hands. Hands of many different shades of color blend as people saunter the streets of New York. It is a melting pot of the world where people, rarely if ever, experience glares or despairing comments because the hand they are holding belongs to a different race.

Whenever my father completed a job application and it asked to check a race he would always check other and write in “human race”. When he first communicated to us what he did, laughter overtook the room. When the laughter died down, I asked my dad why he checked other. His response was that America is a racist country and proof of their racism is that particular question on all job applications. He then calmly said, “child what you have to realize is that there is only one race and that is the human race”. He later pointed out that other animals of the same species interact with each other naturally even with the many shades of colors that exist within that group. He wondered why many humans refuse to do the same.

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The little old woman declared with no particular expression, “I have nothing against black people; I just think they should marry their own kind". Her comment exemplifies what many think, interracial marriages should never happen. This little old woman sat across the desk and explained why interracial relationships should never take place. She explained that the children resulting from interracial relationship receive most of the abuse from an unaccommodating society. These children will have difficulty identifying with one particular culture. Their struggle of fitting in heightens as they interact with students of different cultures. Society can be mean to children of mix race, declared the elderly woman.

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Children of mix relationship or marriage grow up in single family or two parent homes. Not all these children experience what the elderly woman talked about in the above paragraph. They encounter the standard vicissitudes of life that other children do. In their homes, they feel love and acceptance and consequently do not have identity issues. There are sadly, some children because they are “too dark” and cannot pass in the “white” community are abandoned and as a result find themselves going through the extreme struggles and harsh realities of having parents of two different race, in a racist community. There are reports of children of mix race who, even with both parents in the home, have unpleasant social encounters.

Most of what children of mix race experience have a connection to a particular era and geographic location. Post slavery, many states had laws banning “race mixing’. In many southern states these laws remain on the law books until the 21st century. Therefore, between the 19th and 20th century children of mixed race experienced harsh backlash. Most of the children who could “pass”, that is assimilate as white, would do so because it was easier to live in a world of acceptance. Around those two centuries it matter not if you lived in New York or Tennessee, society was very cruel to interracial couples and their children. Today interracial couples are acceptable; consequently, there are no legal repercussion for these families. However, socially there are stigmas for the family should they choose to live in small Southern cities and or towns.

Do you know more than one interracial couple?

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Can you control whom you love and marry? Yes and no, Yes you can control who you marry and no love cannot be control; it can be put aside, pushed down or away however it has a way of resurfacing. Therefore, when people talk about walking away from any type of love relationship, in particular of an interracial relationship because society frowns on it, one cannot help but wonder what type of society acts against love. Since, America has a high divorce rate “love” appears not to work for regular couples many believe interracial unions will be at a higher risk. Therefore, love might not be enough, which suggests that interracial couples should walk away from each other.

Interracial relationship extends to all cultures. Jewish, Chinese and Indian culture, just to name a few, discourage marriage outside their community. The bottom line stops at preservation of a way of life. For many nationals their way of life trumps the individual desire, which means that they disown their children should they decide to marry outside their race. Subsequently, many fall in line but the ones that do not, they find themselves black balled, cast out and ostracize, knowing all this will happen many couples elect to marry regardless of the consequences. Love, cannot be controlled.

Today interracial marriages are accepted on a large scale so marrying the one you love will not be a great risk. However, what about post-slavery times when mix marriages were illegal? Why would couples still choice to marry and remain within the society that tells them they should not? They would have consciously review the pros and cons of such a union. The cons would have outnumbered the pros yet they decided to get married. They marry and then for a brief period are blissful within their union but as always the pressure from their community results in their separation and the ultimate divorce; their struggles, their determination, their family confrontations, all for not.

Life and love contain huge uncertainties, as bearers of both we make choices that work best even after the pros, and cons are reviewed, we tend to move toward choosing love because it adds more meaning to life.


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    • Flipsgeraldine profile imageAUTHOR

      Yvette Marshall 

      2 years ago from Houston, Texas

      dashingscorpio I appreciate the comment and yes life is a personal journey. Let's love as we see fit. Here is to love, peace and happiness.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      2 years ago

      Today the main news topic concerning marriage revolves around gays and lesbians.

      However it was not until 1967 that the Supreme Court struck down all state laws which forbid interracial marriage. The case was “Loving VS Virginia”. A black woman and white man had gotten married.

      According to Virginia law they could be imprisoned for up to two years!

      Although it’s been( less than 50 years ago) since the Supreme Court stepped in there has been a lot of progress when it comes to interracial relationships and marriages. There will never be a time will racism will cease to exist and people of all races will have some within their race who are against it.

      I’ve known black women who hate seeing black men with white women and I’ve known black men who hate to see black women with white men. There are white men who hate to see white women with any man of a different race but especially with black men… and so it goes.

      I’ve never understood why anyone cares who loves or marries whom.

      Odds are (they) were never going to marry that person!

      The best approach for people in such relationships is to stop carrying what other people think.

      Accept the fact that there will always be ignorant people who feel they should control other people's choices.

      It’s probably more accepted to live in larger metropolitan areas than in small rural towns. Progress is something that is gradual and happens slowly.

      The first step was eliminating laws which discriminate and hard as that was to accomplish it’s nothing compared to (changing the hearts) and minds of people. Nevertheless you have to live your life for yourself.

      Life is a (personal) journey!


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