- Gender and Relationships
Quiz: Am I Really In Love?
Is it really love? Take our quiz!
Millions of people want to know if there is a way to tell if they are really in love.
The standard issue reply is: "Don't worry, you'll know when it hits you." However, the standard advice really isn't true. Many people-especially young people-have a great deal of difficulty differentiating mere infatuation from real love.
Yet knowing how to differentiate false love from the real thing can mean the difference between happiness and heartache.
The following quiz is based both on the advice of experts and age-old wisdom in order to help you come to a fuller understanding of this mysterious emotion. Its aim is to help you answer one simple question: "Is it really love?"
Choose "Yes" if you have a definite opinion about the answer. If there is any doubt in your mind, choose "No."
Take the Quiz!
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Answers (Don't Peek!)
Take the quiz directly above, then look at the answers below to find out if you're really in love. It will be more fun (and informative) that way.
1. Did your feeling of love seem to come "out of the blue?"
True love does not occur suddenly. When someone says "it was love at first sight," or that they and their significant other instantly fell in love, what they really mean is that the other person fit some kind of idealized conception they held. Most of us have a mental image of the perfect mate whether we realize it or not. Therefore, when we see somebody who fits this image, we are attracted, but this is not the same thing as love. That may or may not develop later.
2. Would you become intensely jealous if someone made a play for your significant other?
Feelings of jealousy are not an indication of true love. This is one of the most common mistakes young people make. Some think that the stronger the jealousy, the greater the love, but this is really a sign of possessiveness, not true love. Psychologists say that jealousy can mask underlying feelings of insecurity which result in an overwhelming need to be loved. Therefore, jealousy is not a sign of true love.
3. When the two of you aren't together, do you find yourself wistfully longing for your significant other?
Are you hardly able to think about anything else?
Daydreaming, pining and obsessive thoughts of one's partner are not a sign of true love. True love is focused on the other person, with one's greatest concern being his or her happiness and welfare. In contrast, infatuation is self centered. The wistful one is absorbed in his or her own unhappiness at being separated from the other, even for a short time, to the point of daydreaming about them. Such a person is in love with the idea of love, not with the other person.
4. If your love interest went on a trip and sent you love letters, would you show these around to your friends?
Love is a personal bond between two people. If one party shares intimate details of a relationship with others, then it probably isn't true love; it is a play for prestige with one's peers and an attempt to seem important to others.
5. Do you feel more in love when the two of you are together then when you are alone?
Love does not decrease while two partners are separated from one another. If you feel more in love with someone when the two of you are together, chances are that your emotions are being influenced by his or her charming personality or just the excitement of being around them. When not influenced by such factors, doubts about the relationship can creep up from the subconscious. This can be an indication that the love is superficial.
6. Would you seriously describe your sweetheart is just about the most perfect person in the world?
Love is not really blind-at least not to the faults of one's significant other. Someone who is truly in love knows and understands the other persons faults, weaknesses and shortcomings, but is able to overlook these failings. One who is merely infatuated has more of a tendency to see the object of one's affections as perfect.
7. Do you worry about how you come across to your significant other?
Are you concerned about always looking your best around them, and do you put a lot of effort into what you say and how you act around them?
Love does not cause two people to be ill at ease with one another. If you are extremely concerned about making a good impression on another person, chances are that the relationship has not reached the stage of true love. When you not only love but you know that you are loved in return, then you feel comfortable, relaxed and at ease in the presence of another person.
8 If you still live at home with your parents, are you fairly unhappy with your home life?
An unhappy home life can make you more inclined to feel you are in love. Too many people marry when all they really want to do is escape the overbearing presence of their parents. A young girl who has problems with her parents may see a young man as a knight in shining armor who will “rescue” her. She’s not truly in love, she just wants out of the situation.
9. Are you aware of your sweetheart's opinions about money and children?
Love can not always be perched on Cloud Nine. There are practical considerations as well. Two of the most important factors in determining the success of a marriage are money and children. A relationship has the best chance of success when two partners know each other's views on these matters and find them compatible. Otherwise, disagreements can lead to a breakup. If the couple hasn't talked these issues out, chances are the relationship has never reached the stage of true love.
10. It is commonly agreed that the best partners share similar interests, but how about similar complaints?
Do you and your love interest both have the same gripes about your home life, parents, school and other aspects of your lives?
Being companions in heartache is not the same as being in love. Those in a marriage should be able to share misfortunes, but that in itself does not make for love. All too often, young people think they are in love simply because they have found some unfortunate situation to unite against.
Why the answers mean what they mean.
Okay, We'll be honest with you: this was somewhat of a trick quiz, and if you thought "yes" answers revealed true love, you were mistaken! The "no" answers really indicate if your head is screwed on straight about love in almost every case, except for Question #9, the one about money and children. Check our explanations above for the reasons why.
We're still working on and refining the scoring system, but you get 10 points for each no answer, and 0 for each yes except for Question #9. If your score was between 70 and 100, it could be the real thing, but if the score is between 50 and 60 there is some doubt. Even if the score is only 40 or less, it could still grow into real love, but don't mistake it for the real thing quite yet.
How To Succeed In Love
You should know what you want and don't want in the opposite sex. Make a list of "likes" and "don't likes" and narrow it down to the top five or ten in each category to keep it from being too restrictive.
Did you take the quiz? How did you do? Did you learn something? We're sure you did. Share your comments here!