ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships

Reasons not to Date a Married Man

Updated on October 19, 2015

Reasons not to date a Married Man

Dating a married man is always an impossibly painful situation for everyone involved. The ripples from an extra-marital affair spread and hurt many more people than the other woman, her lover and his wife. It is a situation that should never be undertaken lightly.

He probably tells you his wife does not understand him; take that statement with a huge pinch of salt, she probably understands him only too well. He says he will leave his wife and children and be with you, when the children have finished their exams, or when he has saved enough money, got that promotion whatever, he may eventually leave and he might not. If he did, could you carry the guilt that he left them for you? Guilt is a very heavy and destructive burden.

He solemnly vowed, before witnesses, that he would be faithful to his wife; he is preparing to break that promise. This should tell you that he is deceitful and duplicitous. He is prepared to lie to her about your affair and he could also lie to you. If he can leave her, he can also leave you, when the next pretty girl takes his eye.

Just as a marriage is a public declaration, its ending is also a matter of public record. Do you really want to be the named co-respondent in a divorce case? Local newspapers report divorce cases, family, friends and neighbors could read your name printed in the newspaper for all to see.

Divorced couples divorce one another, but they do not divorce their children. They must maintain a relationship because they will never stop being parents to those children. Can you cope with the children visiting every other weekend and hijacking your annual vacation? Whether you like it, or not, his children will be in your relationship. Under English law, when a court is reckoning maintenance payments, for the children of the first marriage, they can consider the second wife’s income, how will you feel about that.

Do you want children? He may decide that he has his children and does not want any more. Even if he does want more children, you might not be able to afford to have any. If you can afford to have children, how will you feel if your children must go short because your husband must pay for the stepchildren?

If he stays with his wife, you will never be able to buy him a personal present to take home and use; his wife would question him about it. You will always have to be happy when he is around, he can have everyday grimness at home, and he comes to you for relief, happiness and light entertaining times. You will never be able to talk through problems or difficulties with him, those are what he deals with at home. Your lives, together, will never be real; the happiness and sorrow in equal measure that build real love over many years.

Some married men want to have their cake and eat it, fun and games with a mistress, stability, and security with the wife. They may have serial affairs and they never leave their wives. However, a serial adulterer’s wife may very well tire of his games and suddenly leave him one day. When she does, would you even want him?

An extra-marital affair is clandestine and means hiding and lying. It means driving miles to out of the way restaurants and country hotels, just to see one another. It means learning the skills of a secret agent to avoid his friends, family or work colleagues. It means treating your relationship like a dirty secret, falling in love is so powerful a feeling that you want to shout it from the rooftops.

You will always spend Christmas day, St Valentine's Day, weekends and other important days alone, he will be with his family. You will always be last on his list of priorities. You will waste your life willing an unresponsive ‘phone to ring.

You will deal with all the above and more. If you do not feel that you are able to do so, run fast in the opposite direction, away from the temptation, and find someone, who is free to love you wholeheartedly, because you are worth it.

Comments

Submit a Comment

No comments yet.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)