How To Reject A Guy (and Maybe Salvage the Friendship)
If there is one thing that regular men (and by regular, I mean not celebrities) do not have to go through as often as women do, it is the constant onslaught of advances coming from members of the opposite sex. This is a social phenomenon that has been occurring for nearly all of humankind; men have been given the duty of courting the women since the caveman days. Why do you think there is a special name for the dance where a girl asks the guy to a dance? The Sadie Hawkins. It’s because it is out of the norm. Guys are supposed to do the asking. It is just how things work and have been working forever. So obviously, women have learned better techniques when handling situations where their male acquaintances express a deeper-than-friend emotional connection. But even with the years and years of experience, I often have my female friends ask me advice on how they can possibly reject the advances, while still saving the friendship and keeping it on a not-awkward status. It is quite difficult to do, but still possible.
Ladies, please keep this in mind: When a guy has decided
that he likes you more than a friend, and has expressed it to you, it is very
difficult for him to backpedal and pretend like it didn’t happen. It has something to do with his pride. Think about it. How embarrassing is it that this person
that you like doesn’t like you in return?
It brings about feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. I’m sure these feelings aren’t
exclusive to the male gender; everybody has gone through it. Rejection sucks! I’ve been rejected countless
times. And in many of those
rejections, I’ve been able to remain friends with the person who rejected
me. There are a few differences
between these rejections when I remained friends with the girl versus when we
never talked again.
These are the things that made a difference for me:
1. The girl still wanted to be friends. In order for you to remain friends, you have to actually place an importance on the friendship. If the guy senses that he has become just any other rejection, and feels like he has turned into an annoyance, he will most likely be awkward around you. He might even start avoiding you when he sees you.
2. The girl clearly communicated that I meant a lot to her. This is how you let the guy know that he isn’t an annoyance. Of course, the only way that the guy will want to be your friend is if he feels that you genuinely WANT the friendship, and you truly care for him, even if he wants a little more right now. If you communicate that you want to be his friend, he should understand. Guys don’t like hints. Guys like it straight, no chaser.
3. The girl gave me time. Ladies, please listen to me. This is the most important tip I have for you. This is the glue that will hold the other tips together. This is the key to remaining friends with a guy after you have rejected him. Once you decide to be friends, and you clearly express it to the guy, you need to give him some time and space so that his feelings will die down. If you do not do this, things could get very ugly. There are several possible outcomes. The guy could continue trying to pursue you, the guy could be depressed every time he is around you, or the guy could cut you off for good once he feels like you are stringing him along. So in order to avoid these things from happening, you need to let the guy have time to calm down, even if it hurts in the meantime to not talk to him.
Look, nothing is perfect, and not every suggested solution will work, but in my past experience, these are the differences between me being friends with a girl after she rejected me, or vice versa. In some instances, emotions may be stronger, and in other instances, guys may not care at all that you reject him and will act normal regardless. It all depends on the type of relationship you have. But one thing is for sure: clear and honest communication is the way to get what you both want from a relationship, whatever type of relationship that is.