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Relationship Problems: Top 10 Mistakes You Make when You're Relationship is in Trouble

Updated on July 14, 2011

Relationship Problems: Top 10 Mistakes Women Make when They're Relationship is in Trouble

This article was inspired by a reader of my Online Advice Column Dear Annabelle when she asked for my advice concerning her relationship trouble.

If your relationship is on the rocks, you're probably trying to figure out how to fix your relationship problems. I'm going to show you the Top 10 Mistakes Women Make when Their Relationship is in Trouble.

Making these mistakes can not only make your problems worse but they could end it for good. Do you want to know if you're making these common relationship mistakes?

Stop Over-Talking About your Relationship Problems:

Are you getting tired of talking about what's going wrong? He is too. In fact, he's probably dreading having yet another conversation about your relationship. Let it be. It's possible you're in a rough patch and endlessly talking about it could throw you into a break up. Discuss the problem and then let it go. Sometimes all people really need is time to heal. Stop re-opening the wound.


Don't Get Him Unnecessary Gifts:

Don't buy your boyfriend presents for no reason when you're having relationship problems. When things are rocky, the best thing you can do is act like everything is normal. Hopefully it will return there as soon as possible.

Stop Apologizing:

Whatever is going wrong in your relationship isn't entirely your fault. When relationships go south, it is because of both of you, so stop apologizing. It's not going to make it any better and it's just reminding him of what went wrong.

tissue box
tissue box

Stop Crying All The Time:

It's hard to control our emotions but do your best to keep the water works under control. You had a fight. It Sucks. You're Sad. Now move on. Being overly emotional in the aftermath brings it back up over and over again. Man up Ladies and start showing him that you're a strong woman who wants him in your life. You don't need him.

Don't Talk To His Friends About Your Problems:

This is a huge mistake that women often make. You think his friend will go back to him and say, "What are you doing man! She's a great girl. Give her a second chance..." If his friends are going to say that, they'll do it all on their own. By going to his friends, it looks like you're going behind his back and you're airy your dirty laundry.


Give Him Time:

Guys take longer to process emotions then women. We can get in a fight, cry, feel bad, and make up quicker then he can make a cheeseburger. Guys don't move as fast. Emotions are confusing to men and they need time to figure them out. Women want everything to go back to normal today and we'll keeping talking about until we feel better. Chill out. Go out with your girlfriends and let him go out with the guys. Sometimes all a man needs is some time to cool off to get things back to how they were.

Stop Being So Nice

I'm not saying you should turn into a bitch all of a sudden (that's a mistake you'll read about next) but stop bending over backwards for your boyfriend. When you're too nice you come across as passive and insecure and your boyfriend becomes complacent. You're teaching him that regardless of what he does, you'll be there with a smile on your face. Wrong.


Stop Acting Like A Total Bitch

You know how I told you to stop being so nice, well you can't live in the other extreme either. No one wants their girlfriend to act like she has PMS 24/7. It's exhausting and obnoxious. Everyone's allowed to have a bad day but if you're mad at him because he's losing interest and it turns you into hell on wheels, pull it back in. Nothing will make a man run away faster then a women screaming at him every chance she gets.

Stop Saying "I Love You" Every 5 Minutes:

He knows you love him so stop overwhelming him. It's ok to say I love you more than normal the day after a fight but then ease up. Smothering him with emotions isn't the right move. He needs time to breathe, deal with his emotions and move past his anger. When you tell him you love him more than normal, it reminds him that you've been fighting and brings up the bad feelings.

Grim Reaper
Grim Reaper

Stop Acting Like This is Life and Death:

Do you get hysterical when you fight and cry things like "But you're my whole world" and "I can't live without you." Take a moment to breathe. He is very important to you but you can live without him. Your life won't end because of a breakup so stop acting like it will. By doing this, you are giving him all the power. If your boyfriend thinks you might up and leave him for someone better, he less likely to take you for granted. Get your own life and start living it. Want him in your life, don't need him.


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      shane1970 4 years ago

      Thanks for having a post on this Annabelle . Just read this post with interest as I've just put myself through hell going through a breakup that was maybe necessary , who knows , but certainly painful for the both of us . My fault ? , Her fault ? , well looking back I can certainly say that we both played a part but when your hurting it's hard to act rationally , biggest problem is you cant see it . Anyway after about six weeks apart and both of us feeling like wed had one side of us torn off I decided to get advice . " Online , because I'm a man and too embarrassed to actually TALK to someone " , so I found a book online , worked so well that I even decided to write a post about it . So , I don't know who might be reading this , its irrelevant anyway . Thing is that there's no need to be going though pain and not knowing what to do about it , please visit How to Repair my Relationship and learn how to take a look at your situation without falling victim to your own feeling's . Took me through the whole process right from , should I be saving this relationship in the first place , all the way to how to get on with my life if it wasn't . In my case , it was and I've no reason to wish you the best outcome too . Live happy people .