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Relationships and being taken for Granted

Updated on July 20, 2013

Relationships and being taken for Granted


If you have ever taken your spouse, partner or significant other for granted then it will absolutely 100 percent negatively affect your relationship. I admit that I've done it and have gotten much better at not taking my spouse for granted as I have gotten older. If you think about it for a moment, you can say that no one likes to be taken for granted and very few people in their right mind will put up with it.

There are many ways we take our partners for granted and here are a few of them. We take our roles more seriously than theirs. We think our contributions to our work and family are significant and our partners are less so and are often not acknowledged by us or even played down. Many of us forget to say please and thank you and some of us never do. Sometime we fail to even say how lucky or fortunate we are to have each other. Sometimes we get very demanding and treat our spouses or partners differently than we treat our friends. Other times we may speak for them or speak to them with disrespect in front of others. One thing I learned a long ago is to let your other half speak for themselves because we do not know what they may be thinking (unless you're a mind reader). Another big no is to come to expect certain things like the dinner being ready when you come home or the house being cleaned. This goes for males or females.

Reverse the Habit

Nothing makes people feel better than that wonderful feeling of being appreciated and valued. Can you remember back when you met your other half and how absolutely wonderful it was? There was a feeling of mutual admiration and affection. We said things to each other like, "It's so nice to hear from you" or "thanks for calling". Do you remember spending what seemed like hours, (but it didn't matter) in the greeting card aisle at the store where you always found the card that you knew for sure was written just for the new love of your life? Why do we lose all of that?

Many people believe that it's inevitable that mates lose that special bond that initially draws spouses or partners together. This shouldn't be what happens because this is something that we all have 100 percent control. If you make the choice to be grateful and not take others for granted then you will do so.

This is not only the right thing to do but strengthens relationship and keeps us feeling happy and in love. There is no doubt that these actions must go both ways and if both partners are willing,then relationships will flourish.

Just for fun

Have you ever taken your significant other for granted?

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    • laringo profile image

      laringo 6 years ago from From Berkeley, California.

      I'm glad this article was able for you to come to the conclusion that you must move forward. Good luck and take your time in finding someone new.

    • profile image

      malmn 6 years ago

      Hi! My ex-fiancee left me over 7 weeks ago and I've been having a lot of trouble understanding and accepting it. To make a long story short, I had always felt like she took me for granted, and that made feel very inadequate. I felt like I could do nothing right and that I was a poor partner. Anyhow, this article confirms to me that she did take me for granted. Now that I know that I was with someone who treated me that way, it should help me move forward a little faster now. Thank you.

    • laringo profile image

      laringo 6 years ago from From Berkeley, California.

      I always say treat others the way you would want to be treated if you are a good and decent person.

    • profile image

      Viviano 6 years ago

      My girlfriend use to tell me I take her for granted, and I admid to have been mean, and not caring, or respectful enough to her and we broke it hurt me to the I want it to die, but thank god I got over it and now I only dream of her sometimes lol, I regret that I lost her but I gues we weren't mean to be together now she's married and for some reason I been single for like a year. Well just want it share alittle about taking ur baby for granted, hope u guys like a little of me. Viviano g.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      You do keep it real:) I love this. I really agree too - my husband and I have always worked together well - I am pretty sure it helped our relationship a great deal. I met him at work - since we basically did the same thing and shared the same stressors - we did not fall prey to "my job is harder than yours...da da da..." Interesting - my first husband was a plumber who did lots of physical work - he said all I did was "eat tea and crumpets and mix with the upper crust" all day!! Notice - EX husband:) lol sad but true! I've been married now for 12 much better when you appreciate each other for all you do contribute.

    • profile image

      guanta 7 years ago

      Thank you Laringo for such good, sound advise. The most difficult times I've had is when I've taken those around me for granted. Frankly I don't like to be taken for granted either, and who does? Thank you for the solid reminder.

    • manthy profile image

      Mark 7 years ago from Alabama,USA

      I gave you a link from my Hub

      Please give me a link back if you want to!

      I look forward to being a loyal follower of yours.


    • laringo profile image

      laringo 7 years ago from From Berkeley, California.

      pusalju thanks for your comments and I hope this article help concur what you already felt in your heart.

    • profile image

      pusalju 7 years ago

      You are so righ about that is a way to get divorced. That is what is happening with me and my husband. He have told me last weekend while we were in a romantic cruice that he had cheat on me. It didn't hurt me because I felt it. He has been taking me for granted for long time and he always said sorry blablabla... so when he told me that I just realized that it wont be worth it to cry or deal with that situation. I'm done, It doesn't hurt... I feel a relief inside of me. I always have a feeling that something wronge will happen. I'm happy because It is never late to change the page and go on with your life. (sorry for my english but is my second language). Dont let nobody take you for granted... doesn't deserve u!

    • laringo profile image

      laringo 7 years ago from From Berkeley, California.

      Ehsani yes morality has gone down the tubes in many cultures, but not all. Many things have contributed to people losing their way and that's too bad.

    • profile image

      Ehsani 7 years ago

      Hey, Thanks for your guidance. It's a shame that sometimes we forget morals, due to selfishness. Sow a seed and water it forever...

    • Kind Regards profile image

      Kind Regards 8 years ago from Missouri Ozarks - Table Rock Lake

      laringo, Thanks for the reminder to show appreciation. It does make a difference. Kind Regards

    • laringo profile image

      laringo 8 years ago from From Berkeley, California.

      Hello sky2day, thank you for such kind words.. Have a great weekend and enjoy Sunday's dinner.

    • skye2day profile image

      skye2day 8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      This is a beautiful hub. OMG I have error-ed on this one. Your hub was a reminder and inspiration to me. Thank You. I will try "better" God works through others and is so cool. I came by to thank you for the beautiful comment you left me. You are a gem, you walk in the light. You are precious and God loves you. You give of yourself. I will return. I got the stuff to make your recipe. I am going to put it togther Sunday. I will let you know. Love Ya

    • laringo profile image

      laringo 8 years ago from From Berkeley, California.

      Indeed, relationships often need re-tooling for healthy growth otherwise lack of communication and taking one for granted to lead to bad feelings and resentment to one another.

    • JDove-Miller profile image

      JDove-Miller 8 years ago from YOUNGSVILLE

      It is so easy to get into the rut of inappreciation. That's why it is so important to have a periodic marriage/relationship check-up where the partners tell each other how they perceive the relationship. Thanks for the reminder.

    • laringo profile image

      laringo 8 years ago from From Berkeley, California.

      Useful Knowledge, I think we all take our partners for granted at one time or another. That's a part of natural human behavior, but it only takes recognizing it and trying to treat others as we all want to be treated and look at the big picture is paramount to success in relationships. I've been with my spouse going on 17 years and I really can't complain.

    • profile image

      Useful Knowledge 8 years ago

      Great hub. I have been married for 16 years and I do tend to take my husband for granted at times. I think that after so many years, we just expect certain things from our spouse. Thanks for your wonderful advice. I will try to apply it to my marriage.

    • laringo profile image

      laringo 9 years ago from From Berkeley, California.

      Cathy, Thank you for the positive feedback. Personally for me being the writer it made me think more deeply about many things I already know, but seldom have time to actually reflect on.

    • Cathy profile image

      Cathy 9 years ago from Oregon, USA

      Just found your hub. I like this. It's definitely positive and makes me think.

      Thanks for sharing!

    • laringo profile image

      laringo 9 years ago from From Berkeley, California.

      Cristina, thanks for reading my hub, and also for the positive feedback.

    • cristina327 profile image

      Maria Cristina Aquino Santander 9 years ago from Manila

      Nice hub, a good insight to live by. Thanks for sharing this.

    • profile image

      laringo 9 years ago

      Amen to that...just wonder how the world would be if everyone could make these things a part of their being. I guess that's just too idealistic.

    • Nicole Winter profile image

      Nicole A. Winter 9 years ago from Chicago, IL

      Even if it's not a sure way to get divorced it'll lead to an utterly miserable way of life for you & anyone around you if you can't learn to appreciate and respect each other. Wonderful hub, laringo, it is so important to remember the golden rule applies to everyone in your life, not just strangers. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

    • laringo profile image

      laringo 9 years ago from From Berkeley, California.

      earnesthub, thanks for the feedback....indeed taking someone or anything for granted is detrimental often with lasting effects.

    • earnestshub profile image

      earnestshub 9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      I like your truth. Taking each other for granted is a sure way to get divorced.


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