ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Relationship Problems & Advice

Relationship Break Ups When Is It Really Over

Updated on May 1, 2012

How Can It Go From This

Source

One More Time

Probably about the third or fourth time you’ve said “Let's try it one more time”, but for some reason believe that you’ve finally had enough (well maybe) Sorry, but that’s just reality and the way it is. Let me start off by saying that if you’re the sensitive, cry at the drop of a hat type person you’re going to want to either grab a box of Kleenex or go look somewhere else for someone that will tell you what you want to hear. I don’t play games or beat around the bush. So those that are ready to hear some blatant facts keep reading, otherwise be gone, it’s OK I swear.

To This So Quickly

Source
Source

Let's Get A Couple Things Straight From the Get Go

First off let me get my one pet peeve out of the way from the get go. If you are in an abusive relationship, I don’t care if it’s emotional or physical you need to go take a good look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what you did to deserve this. The answer should be NOTHING because NO ONE and I mean NO ONE EVER, I don’t care what you think you’ve done, NO ONE deserves to be abused, EVER! So go ahead I’m not kidding, go look at yourself right now and ask yourself what it is that you‘ve done that you should be subjected to such demeaning BS, sorry but that‘s just what it is. If you’ve come up with something that you feel makes you guilty enough to subject yourself to this sort of punishment, (because believe me we all have spiders in our closets) you’re dead wrong. Stop beating yourself up over the past, and allow yourself to experience the future without the garbage you’ve accumulated in the past. Allow your self to be the judge and jury and let the sentencing and judgment be over, time served, be done! You can experience the days to come as a bright new beginning or continue to wallow in pity and continue to be a victim. It is just that simple and a matter of choice, NO mind boggling elaborate decisions, just a simple choice. Moving on.

Second if you are a cheater or your significant other is cheating and you or she/he is not willing to stop throwing it in one another’s face or stop accusing them every time they are 5 minutes late just go ahead and call it a day. Relationships are based on a matter of trust and that’s it in a nutshell. It doesn’t make a bit of difference if it’s a best friend, a boss, a spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, whoever it is, it’s all about trust. Go ahead, catch your best friend stealing $40 out of your purse or wallet and then tell me they’re still your best friend. OK, your initial reaction to that should have been, “They would never do that, she/he is my best friend.” That’s why they’re your best friend because you trust them enough not to do that, and if you don’t know in your heart that you can let your relationship get back to that level, then for crying out loud let them go. Don’t torture them or yourselves with the accusing, throwing it up in their face every time something isn’t just the way you want it, and let them and yourself move on. If you believe deep down that you can honestly get back to that point, then by all means give it a shot. But remember one thing, you’ve got to be willing to give it your all and let them forgive themselves Because if they are half of the person you fell in love with in the beginning of your relationship, they are suffering enough guilt and torture all by themselves.

It Comes Down To This

It really all boils down to one thing. If you can sit down and talk without the screaming and the yelling, or the tv blaring in the background. If you can look at each other dead square in the eyes WITHOUT LOOKING AWAY and say that you are ready and willing to do whatever it takes (without ridiculous conditions) to start really enjoying each other again then do it! If you hesitate, stop, decide you need to think about it some more, are contingent upon some stupid ridiculous conditions, then you’ve already made the choice. I’m not saying you might not need a little counseling (mediator as I call them) to overcome certain obstacles just be willing to put forth the amount of time and effort to do just that. If not, how about allowing both of you the joy and pleasure of the wonderful life you’ve been given and move on.


Source

Just One More Thing

One more thing. If you decide to call it quits, then for heavens sakes let them go. Don’t start with the stupid, made up excuses to call just because your bored or heard they have actually moved on and are seeing someone else. LET THEM AND YOURSELF GO.

Remember this, if you jump from the fire into the frying pan your burns are probably gonna be a lot deeper the next time around. Give yourself some space and time to figure out who you are and what you want out of life before trying to find someone to make a commitment to someone you yourself haven’t figured out yet.

So that’s it in a nutshell. Best of wishes (notice I didn’t say luck because relationships aren’t about luck) in whatever you choose to do and make it an incredible day.

If you would like some information on relationship break ups and how you never saw it coming, just click on the highlighted text. That’s only of course if you have enough Kleenex, sorry just “telling it like it is”

Questions or Comments Just Let Me Know

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Charlu profile image
      Author

      Charlu 7 years ago from Florida

      Thanks Eiddwen I don't know if it will help but maybe it will give a clearer picture of what to evaluate before moving on. Thanks for reading and your comment Talk to you soon.

      Hi Celia Humans are definitely emotional and about the Gators I don't know for sure. Could be the game or maybe the disappoint of losing every now and then :) Thanks

    • profile image

      Celia 7 years ago

      Interesting advice. Humans are an emotional species. Emotions negate our so-called rational thought processes. Relationships are often composed of 90% emotion - now what? In a place called Gainesville Florida when "The Gators" fail to make the appropriate touchdowns to win the game spousal abuse escalates considerably. What is it that initiates this fury. Is it really the big game? Would it be best to acknowledge the core of our species first prior to devising a method of devotion?

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 7 years ago from Wales

      A great hub which I am sure will benefit many.

      Take care

      Eiddwen.

    • Charlu profile image
      Author

      Charlu 7 years ago from Florida

      Hi Marellen I know it's hard to focus when your going through it which is why I think we go back and forth so many times. People always start thinking of all the good times they've had instead of evaluating both. Thanks for reading and your comment

    • profile image

      marellen 7 years ago

      It is an awesome hub but so hard when your in a relationship like this and all your emotions are playing havoc with you.

    • Charlu profile image
      Author

      Charlu 7 years ago from Florida

      Hi Hattie I just have to be honest about it, that's just me. Thanks for reading and your comment

    • HattieMattieMae profile image

      HattieMattieMae 7 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

      Awesome hub telling it like it is!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)