ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Romance, expectations, and Libras

Updated on June 18, 2017
witchee1014 profile image

Jen is a preschool teacher, mom, wife, witch, writer, blogger, author, Disney fan who is from Philly and now living in Joplin

Romance, expectations, and Libras

Ok. I hate Valentine’s day. Why do people think you should save up your feelings for one day. It makes me think stupid thoughts and have stupid feelings. Every talk show and fluff news story has people proposing or segments on the perfect proposal or date or wedding. It’s enough to make Cupid went to go smoke a cyanide cigarette soaked in kerosene. That all being said, let me say this: I love my husband and regret nothing in our relationship other than our wedding. It’s not that we didn’t want to get married or be together. We very desperately did. Maybe it was time, maybe it was money, maybe it was the fact I was expecting our first child together. Let me start from the beginning.

We had a messy start. His divorce wasn’t finished and my fiance had just ended it with me. We knew we loved each other and had for a long time. We started to live together in august 2012. By January 2013 I was expecting our son. Judge me later.

By June 12, his divorce was finally finalized. We got married on the 22, ten days later.

Like I said, I don’t regret getting married. Which is weird because I fought it to the end with my now ex. I didn’t want to do the legal and binding, last name changing thing. Maybe I knew something I wasn’t willing to acknowledge. And regret really isn’t the right word. I feel like I missed out on something.

I’m not your normal, average girl who has had a dream wedding planned out since she was 6. But at the time of my break up I was actually planning a wedding type of ceremony called a hand fasting. Non legal, non binding, no change of last name. Just commitment to each other. So like every other modern day girl I turned to Pinterest. I had seating arrangements, cake designs, invitations, dress, flowers, the whole nine yards and then some. I even enlisted a friend to oversee the ceremony and had a location and menus planned out.

Then it all came crashing down. I’m better for it now, but at the time I was a wreck. That’s all a story for another day. The king was there. Always had been and always will be. He picked up the broken shards and glued them back together and filled the cracks with gold. And for that I am truly grateful every day for him and his love.

But there’s that little evil ferret in the back of my head, gnawing on my brain, throwing a tantrum because I didn’t get the wedding I was planning. We did a $200 elopement down in eureka springs, Arkansas. And it was a lovely ceremony. Simple, basic, just me, him, and my 6 almost 7 month pregnant belly. No rings to exchange, just fake roses that we didn’t even get to keep.

I don’t know why I’ve been thinking about it lately. Maybe because it’s Valentine’s day soon and I’m seeing all these proposals and weddings. Yeah, that’s a thing too. There was no proposal. I have to give it to the ex. He proposed very well. We were working together at a picture place with my brother and he set up for us to get pictures done, but didn’t tell me he was going to propose. It was very nicely done and we used the pictures as announcements in Christmas cards to my family. It was all very sweet.

I know the king would love to do something romantic and moving and memorable. Stubborn as I am though I won’t let him. libras are two edged swords like that. For me, I’d prefer bills were paid, food was bought, and the kids are taken care of before I get a shiny token of affection. Diamonds are forever, but memories of family vacations and time together. That’s more of what I would like.

I guess, inherently, I am a hopeless romantic. I’m a Libra, it’s what I do. I try not to show it, but I love love, celebrations of love, and people expressing their love.

A ring would be nice, maybe a renewal of vows sometime down the road. I wish I could outright tell the king this. I wish I could say, “I’m a chick and I want my fairy tale , but I’m too damn stubborn and proud to say it.” Life would be way easier if he could read my mind. Then again, maybe not. My thoughts scare me some days. I don’t want him to be upset and think I’m upset with him. Quite the opposite. I’ve really never been happier in my life. He’s my guardian angel, the cream in my coffee, the apple of my eye, the peanut butter to my jelly. And we’ve always had something else that needed our attention more than silly jewelry like kids, cars, home maintenance, lack of jobs. I love my life and the king and my family. I wouldn’t change one day of our journey together except for this one thing. I’m just having a toddler fit of I want I want I want.

So I guess I am that chick that’s been planning her wedding. the feminine side of my heart loves romance and a good love story. Good thing I also planned my marriage. the rational side of my brain handled that. I suppose that’s the more important of the two. I wouldn’t mind a ring, though. And I still hate Valentine’s day.

Tell Me

How do you feel about Valentine's Day?

See results

Comments

Submit a Comment

  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 

    14 months ago

    "I hate Valentine’s day. Why do people think you should save up your feelings for one day." Most people don't!

    The reality is Valentine's Day is supposed to be a FUN day for couples. It's also a time to show some appreciation for one another. Truth be told if it were not for these Hallmark Holidays like Valentine's, Mother's Day, and Father's Day many folks wouldn't take any time out to acknowledge being blessed with these people in their life. Some people wouldn't get any greeting cards beyond birthday or Christmas. :)

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)