ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Royal Wedding Drinking Game

Updated on April 13, 2011

Sickly Sweet

Overview

It’s time to face facts; if you haven’t received your invite to the royal wedding then you’re not going to, I’m afraid.  Many would be utterly distraught to find that they are not going to the biggest event of the year, the chance to ponce around with toffee nosed Lords and discussing how to select a good Port, is possibly lost forever. But fear not, help is at hand. While others would simply sit and sulk about their royal snub, there is an alternative to get you through the protracted wedding ceremony and true to the greatest of British traditions, this alternative involves binge drinking.

Time to prepare!  First, get yourself down to the supermarket with the following list (quantities for approximately two people):

·         At least two crates of lager – try to keep away from Stella here as you don’t want to end up punching a fellow player.  If you’re feeling thirsty then get way more than enough, you don’t want to run out of booze midway through this royal bilge and have to watch any period of the wedding dry.

·         A bottle of Whisky or Vodka – the cheaper the better. The irony won’t be lost that whilst the toffs on the TV are sipping good Champagne, you’ll be drinking fluid that could more correctly be used to take the paint of paintbrushes. Remember, it’s worth taking it easy on this or else you won’t be able to coherently hurl abuse at the television screen.

·         A bottle of cheap fizzy Italian white wine(2 litres for approx £3) – Adding a touch of class to your own party (why should those blue-blooded twerps be the only ones to drink bubbly?!). If in Scotland, Buckfast will do this job nicely.

·         A multi-pack of crisps – Leave the caviar-topped vol au vents to them, we’ll be having mini-cheddars, chip-sticks and Quavers, thank you very much. Such snacks are essential as you’ll need a good lining on your stomach.

So, the shopping’s done and now it’s time to play the game!  Get your TV on nice and early, it’s beneficial at this point to already have a few beers inside of you as your stomach will otherwise churn at the sycophantic crawling of the BBC pundits. Remember at this point not to throw anything hard enough to smash the screen at the TV as this will void the rest of the game and may lead to you having to listen to the rest of the event by radio, which would be crap. You’ll need a bit of space for the vast quantities of lager that you’re about to imbibe so don’t get too leathered just yet. Though it’s probably worth having a spot of breakfast to soak up the alcohol – make it something that won’t taste too bad as it comes the other way or stain the carpet irreparably.

No Surrender

The Game

Take your seats, it’s about to begin! OK, the rules to which you must adhere until the end of the coverage – let’s face it, you’re not going to make it all the way through so be prepared to pass out before the end. The rules:

1.You must be drinking whenever Kate and Wills are on screen together

2.The TV shows shots of the crowds outside Westminster - everybody hold their noses and drink to get rid of the stench of poverty.

3.Queen falls asleep; all drinks must be downed and a rendition of God Save the Queen made

4.Any shots of a gormless reporter standing in an empty street insisting "Katherine will be here any second" - drink whole time this goes on.

5. The appearance of Prince Phillip on the screen must be greeted by a loudly shouted racist remark. The last one to do so must drink a shot of whisky.

6. Any crawly remarks made by the BBC pundits must be loudly condemned by a hail of expletives. The person in the room felt to have made the least nasty remarks must drink three fingers of beer.

7. The commentator mentions Dianna; three fingers of beer

8. When the couple say “I do”, all drinks must be downed and the empty can crushed against the forehead. The last person to do this must drink an extra shot of whisky.

As is often the case with such events, the sheer boredom of the occasion may ultimately take over. In this instance, the channel may ONLY be changed in order to watch football. Of course, each individual party will want to invent their own rules to this already great game. Be sensible though, as you want to remain drunk enough to get through the entire event without completely giving up the will to live.

I hope this hub helps to make it more bearable for everyone not already invited to the actual wedding. Please post your own rules in the comments section below or visit the Facebook community page or the Royal Wedding Drinking Game and take your pick from several thousand rule ideas.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • lukecore profile image

      Luke Chant 

      7 years ago from Manchester

      Having played a version of this game I'm still not fully recovered!

    • profile image

      anon 

      7 years ago

      Any time someone says "love" or "happiness", regardless of context, you drink.

    • profile image

      josh allinson 

      7 years ago

      very well written and very fun 10/10 :)

    • profile image

      paul 

      7 years ago

      How about everytime the queen is on the telly, ypu hard to keep drinking your drink until she is off of shot again

    • profile image

      footy8 

      7 years ago

      whrn will it stert

    • profile image

      Garbs 

      7 years ago

      A shot of whiskey and 3 fingers of beer any time Prince Harry is on screen in the background looking miserable and left out.

    • profile image

      Wish I were a Princess 

      7 years ago

      This one involves a Brit mix: http://morningquickie.com/2011/04/25/the-royal-wed... And is racismer a thing now?

    • profile image

      Jim 

      7 years ago

      There's an iPhone Version of the Royal Wedding Drinking Game :) http://bit.ly/hGPEV7

    • Tamila Roberts profile image

      Tamila Roberts 

      7 years ago from Canada

      Didn't know royal life was that hard. Thanks much for useful info!

    • profile image

      Booboo Galore 

      7 years ago

      I don't think they're saying "I Do". The wedding response is "I Will". If they do say "I Do" it will be by accident and surely that will require at least half a bottle of vodka to be downed in celebration?

    • profile image

      Darren 

      7 years ago

      Ive Included this into my pre Easter Celebration weekend, involving a Beach BBQ followed by Slip and slide and this!

    • profile image

      sam  

      7 years ago

      great game! very funny and origional!! however, one question, surely they both say "I do" and you would have to down two drinks and crush against the forehead in the space of a few minutes. is this right?

    • mojefballa profile image

      Ikeji Chinweuba 

      7 years ago from Nigeria

      Fantastic but very funny hub which i enjoyed reading.

    • goprisca profile image

      goprisca 

      7 years ago from Bangalore

      Hai

      Very funny and interesting hub.

    • superwags profile imageAUTHOR

      superwags 

      7 years ago from UK

      It should read crawly - basic arse kissing or sucking up to the royals of any kind.

    • profile image

      Akey69 

      7 years ago

      Explain rule 6 what do you class as Crawley remarks ??

    • profile image

      Grassick 

      7 years ago

      If Diana is mentioned then you must drink 2 fingers and pour 1 out for your 'homie'

    • profile image

      joan21 

      7 years ago

      Very funny - I might play a slightly watered down version

    • superwags profile imageAUTHOR

      superwags 

      7 years ago from UK

      Cheers Invita! Hope you have even more fun carrying out the rules on the big day!

    • invita profile image

      invita 

      7 years ago from Tampa, FL

      That was truly funny. Thank you.

    • crystolite profile image

      Emma 

      7 years ago from Houston TX

      Nice hub,thanks for sharing.

    • superwags profile imageAUTHOR

      superwags 

      7 years ago from UK

      Better get stocked up with the booze; only 7 weeks to the big event. I intend to get everybody to play this game and therefore the shops may run dry...!

    • Golfgal profile image

      Golfgal 

      7 years ago from McKinney, Texas

      Blimie Funny, jolly good

    • superwags profile imageAUTHOR

      superwags 

      7 years ago from UK

      Cheers! Post a couple of rules to the game if you like and we can add them to the "official" rules!

    • quotations profile image

      Robert P 

      7 years ago from Canada

      I liked your humour. Nice hub.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)