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Secret of Successful Marriages

Updated on July 26, 2013

Heal Your Marriage And Get Answers To The Secret Of Successful Marriages

Do you need to heal your marriage? What is the secret of successful marriages? Does anyone really know? Well, I must say that there is one book that I have read and I think is one of the best I've come across (more on that later on). It gets to the point and I think it does address the basic questions that can answer the 'all elusive' secret...We all want to have successful careers and we work hard at it. Why should we neglect marriage....being happy is important. Remember why you got married in the first place and try to recapture that magic!

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marriage advice
marriage advice

The Secret of Successful Marriages

Thinking of Tying the Knot? Already Tied the Knot?

5 Tips To Make Sure You Stay Together

The following are some excerpts from the book 1000 Questions For Couples (with some of my own comments, of course!). It's practical and goes straight to the point, which is what you want when you are having problems...right?

Did you know that love does NOT always conquer all? "Love" alone is not enough....there must be actions to support that love.

You see, often people get married with the idea that their "chemistry" or undying love for each other will keep them together forever. However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce these days, it's obvious that this isn't the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little secrets before getting married. Do you know what the secret of successful marriages is?

Here are 5 tips that help keep couples together long after tying the knot....the secret of successful marriages....

Tip #1 - Continue dating

Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become stale because couples fail to do new and special things together. That's why going on new and refreshing dates is so vitally important. In fact, there is something about "dating" that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and can even bring relationships out of a rut. While on a date, you also put more effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together. Stuck for ideas? Spend the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.

Tip #2 - Delay is often better

It's a well-documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period. A year of dating gives time for many emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter. Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn't romantic. It's gambling. Would you really know a person after 3 dates?

Tip #3 - Always express your love

Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each other because they 'assume' their partner already knows what they're thinking, or that they're busy with work and kids and chores and these things are 'understood'. Are they really? Do you REALLY know you are loved all the time? In reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner. Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they're the greatest person in the world or tell them they're a wonderful role model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When they're feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return. Are you a super supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?

Tip #4 - Take time to understand your partner

Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, "I just don't understand him/her." So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about your mate's profession or the degree they are pursuing? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in rugby? If you are a man, do you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause? You don't need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest your partner in life and you'll grow closer as a result.

Tip #5 - Answer the BIG questions

Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church? Do they have strong political views?

In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married.

I guess people think they'll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. Wrong. If you fail to sit down and discuss finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals in life, there's no guarantee that chemistry or "I love you's" will help you stay together. Make it your utmost priority to understand each other 'inside-out' BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle.

A great book I have read is 1000 Questions For Couples. Michael Webb is the author of the most comprehensive book, 1000 Questions For Couples. It is a book of questions that all couples should ask before getting married such as careers, money, children & raising them, household work, personalities, the future and much much more.

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Guides For A Successful Marriage - What Makes A Good Relationship

Great Tips For Successful Marriages

Marriage happiness
Marriage happiness

Marriage Quotes

Quotes To Make You Smile And Think

# The older I get, the less time I want to spend with the part of the human race that didn't marry me. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

# Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. ~H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques, 1916

# The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. ~Peter De Vries

# To keep the fire burning brightly there's one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart - about a finger's breadth - for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule. ~Marnie Reed Crowell

# I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner

# Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. ~George Bernard Shaw

# Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work. ~Author Unknown

# Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret

# Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

# A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~Anne Taylor Fleming

# Woke up in bed with a gorgeous woman, who I'm going to have lunch and the rest of my life with. ~Jason Barmer, pedestriansaint.com

# More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson

# One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. ~Judith Viorst

# Divorce: The past tense of marriage. ~Author Unknown

# A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

# In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ~Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire

# There is no such cozy combination as man and wife. ~Menander

# Two things are owed to truthfulness - lasting marriages and short friendships. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

# The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation. It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

# Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966

# In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all. ~Anne Sophie Swetchine

# In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced. ~Robert Sexton

# If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Posters to remind you of romantic times and places - Document your special moments

Even if you don't have a personal photo, posters make good alternatives. Write a memorable date so that you can always look back and smile...

Quick Poll

Are you happy in your relationship right now?

See results

Unhappy In Your Marriage?

Are these some of the reasons?

I find that there are more and more couples unhappy in marriages recently. Perhaps many are being more open about their situation or perhaps the stresses of the modern life are putting a lot of pressure on marriages. Many times though the reasons are that the spouse/partner doesn't pay attention, is easily distracted, argues more, doesn't take responsibility, can't remember to do anything, etc.

These could be the result of issues in the relationship but there is another cause that could be the answer to those behavior patterns. That cause is Adult ADD or ADHD. To learn a bit more about this, visit this lens: Living With ADD/ADHD

Wonderful video - This video caught my attention and I love it!

Feel the love and positive energy flowing through you as you watch this and hear the music.

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      anonymous 4 years ago

      Nice words of advice! The secret to successful marriages mostly remain as secrets I guess! :)