Being Single and Owning It
Dry your eyes..
Okay, you are going through or have just went through a break up and now you have to figure out what you're going to do next. The one thing that's going to happen is you are going to cry and it's going to be a hard cry. You may cry for hours or maybe days and you may not want to stop but you will and things will be better afterwards. You have to remember that life will go on and things will be better for you in the long run. Your future is unwritten and you are the author of your story so get up and start writing. Feeling sorry for yourself won't change what happened nor will it make you feel better, it'll drag you down and make you feel even worse then before. Throwing pity parties and laying around in you pajamas won't solve your problems. Yes, you will go through a phase of feeling down and eating everything in sight but staying in that state of mind won't help you get to where you are meant to be. Dry your eyes, set a goal and get moving! What you do in this time of sorrow and heartbreak will help you recover and build a better you.
Time can heal all Hearts
The Break Up..The Healing..The Recovery
Breakups are kind of like having surgery. Just think about it, when you break up with someone you are nervous and have a sense of dread. You try to prepare yourself for what's next and after its over you have to go through the healing process and that will be very painful. You take medication to try to numb the pain, and with a break up you may turn to alcohol, drugs or maybe casual sex with people you barely know. The healing stage can be the trickiest part of the whole process and can result in making good or bad decisions for your future. I know that no one person will go through a break up and recovery the same but there is a common process that everyone goes through. Below are some stages that you or someone you know that has broken up with someone may go through:
- Depending on who was at fault for the breakup, one may feel angry because of the feeling a betrayal.
- Having a since of relief can be felt when knowing that lies and deceit are gone from your life.
- At this point you are realizing that your alone and sorrow and loneliness are creeping in your mind.
- Your going to start feeling desperate for love and attention, which will result in poor decisions being made and this could be very bad.
- You're going to hit the bottom, now you are going to go through a period of reflection and looking at your past mistakes and make sure you won't make the same ones.
- Acceptance is the best way to start truly healing and refocus your energy into building a better future.
- The semi final stage to this process is joy or enjoying your new life, and I say semi final because like I said before no one person is the same and there may be more stages in your process compared to someone else.
So there you go, the 7 stages of a breakup; anger, relief, sorrow/loneliness, desperation, reflection, acceptance and joy/enjoy. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm an expert on relationships or break ups but I have been through my fair share of heartache, pain, anger and everything else you can think of. I speak on this process because I have been through it and know of close friends and family that have as well. I understand human nature as well has a woman's mind and can say with confidence that this process is somewhat accurate.
Having a full and proper recovery is essential to a better future not just for yourself but for all of those who are close to you like your children. A stable mind makes for a stable body and life style for you and your loved ones. I know this process won't be easy but once you have made it through things will get better.
How do you feel?
Everyone has a voice and has a right to say how they feel. I would hope that feelings can be share in the most respectful way as possible. Regarding breaking up with someone you cared for even loved isn't easy but the recovery is so important. At this time you will find out who you are, how strong or weak and can build from there.
Joy in the sea of sorrow..
Selection is everything
You know there may be a time that you may want to date again. Explore the dating scene and meet new people. But before this starts being comfortable with being alone is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Having that "alone" time and discovering yourself is the best thing to do in order to understand what you want and need. I know it may sound silly but it truly helps being solo for a long while before considering dating anyone. You have to know that before you can be with anyone you have to know and love yourself first. Take to time to take care of yourself and give yourself the appropriate time to heal, reflection and redirect your emotions to be a better person.
Options of Outlets
The following are some outlets that can help you build your confidence with being single and heal from a bad break up:
- Develop a hobby
- Spend time with friends/family