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Updated on October 16, 2013

What rules your actions/interest when choosing to engage with the opposite sex?

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The Rules when Dating and Single

  1. Regardless of your religious or personal beliefs be safe (protection) and be selective at ALL times. Ladies, if he isn't your husband NO unprotected access. Men, if she isn't your wife NO unprotected access.

  2. Present yourself in your best light while being honest about who you. Pretending and playing smoke and mirror games will get you married today and divorced tomorrow.

  3. Don't string people along when you know you aren't interested in getting to know them.

  4. Don't string people along when you know you are not interested in a relationship and they are interested in a relationship with you.

  5. Your actions should mirror your intentions. If you aren't interested in anything other than fun when don't invite people to holiday events, family gatherings, and couples night with your friends. Again, no disrespect, but your actions need to match your words.

  6. Grow up. If you are almost 40 then why are you mingling in the 20 something crowd? If you are 40 then why are you at the club all weekend?

  7. Keep your business to yourself. While not in a relationship or seeking a relationship, you are not responsible for accounting for your time. “Sounds like you missed me. How was your day?” is always a fitting response to the question “Where were you.”

  8. Treat people the way you want to be treated, non-negotiable.

  9. Don't settle. By no means do I mean physically, I mean the essence of the person. Their beliefs, heart, values, loyalty, moral qualities, and how they treat you are important.

  10. Take the time to get to know someone. Anyone rushing you into marriage and/or relationships; buyer beware.

  11. Know what you want and have a time line for progress. There is no reason to be boyfriend and girlfriend over 2 years with no direction in site. This is how you wake up and realize you have wasted 10 years with someone that was never marriage material or a potential partner.


  1. Leave men who are more in love with themselves than anyone else. There is no room for someone who believes they are the most important person in the world.

  2. You don't have the ability to reform a player but they have the ability to play you if you allow them to.

  3. Recognize what season a man is in by his lifestyle, activities, and interests. If you are on let's settle down and get married and he's in the street partying all the , don't invest time in this man.

  4. You have a right to examine, question, and evaluate a man's intentions. I'm not saying being negative or constantly question everything but this man is seeking a part of your life/time/body so there is an evaluation process that needs to take place.

  5. Know what you want and don't allow time (aka desperation) to allow you to settle.

  6. Keep something for yourself. Do not reveal everything about yourself to your partner.

  7. Stay away from people who are masters of manipulations and are seeking immediate intimacy from you if you are seeking something more substantial from a relationship.

  8. Be the best person you can be: mind, body, and soul for your own purpose.


  1. Learn to listen and observe women over time before being lured into affections by a woman who is disingenuous.

  2. Evaluate the mindset of a woman who does not her own personal goals and/or achievements. Women who have not obtained a career/trade or sacrificed to achieve will view your money as monopoly money. These women can always spend more than you make like experts.

  3. Beware if you encounter a woman that believes everything you say and makes you the center of her world without time or examination. Any woman of value will require you prove yourself over time.

  4. Beware of a woman that lives above her means. If she doesn't bring in a six figure salary, why does she have the priciest clothing and accessories with a $70k vehicle?

  5. If she is that easy, it's not you......she's just easy.

  6. Physical appearance isn't everything. Recognize WHY you feel the way you do about the woman you desire and be honest with yourself. Physical affection and looks should not cloud the functions of your brain.

  7. Pay attention to signs that say not marriage material such as drinking problems, inability for a women to stay home, and make note of how they treat and interact with others. Pretending to be nice and being nice are two different concepts.

  8. Being an eligible bachelor/husband is more than a career and a car, it's a mindset of a man ready to commit to the right woman and appreciate what is truly important in life.

  9. ****When considering marriage: if you can live without her then let her go.

Men and women please understand if you have personal issues that prevent you from giving your all then stay single. Don't make your focus the opposite sex because there is only one person responsible for your happiness and that's you. You alone are responsible for your success or failure. Before you consider entering a relationship you need to be a whole, complete, self-fulfilled person.

You may also call it old fashioned but you need to avoid intimacy as long as possible so you can clearly determine if the person you are dating is right for you. Intimacy clouds judgment.


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