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The sleazy side of online dating
Profiles say one thing
SPORTY SPICE, muscular sportsman who takes care of his body, good looking, 38 years old, single and an accomplished lover, great at giving orgasms, seeks a life partner.
I'm sure that many of you who frequent online dating sites have seen similar ads when you click on the profiles of the site's users. Most of them are a complete lie. In the days when I was trying to rebuild my life after a messy divorce, I thought that online dating sites were the answer to my prayers. Initially, it was almost an addiction, rushing home to go online and check out the profiles and then contact the ones who grabbed your attention. One soon found out, that after the first few email exchanges where you exchanged facts about yourself with each other, the man invariably upped the ante and would start making suggestive comments. Being a little flirtatious in the good old days, one might flirt back, and the next thing you know the conversations would get completely sexual and very explicit. It appeared that although there were a few genuine men looking for love, most were just looking for sex partners. Many were married.
Sporty Spice will remain forever in my memory. I checked out his profile and moved past it as when they mention being a good lover and orgasms, you just know that all they want is sex. Free sex, because they don't want to pay for it. They're too miserly to just pay a prostitute for a good time. Instead, they prey on desperate, lonely women. Sporty Spice contacted me and actually sounded quite nice, nothing at all like his profile. I wondered if he might be genuine after 2 weeks of regular daily emailing, and not one mention of the Sex Word or anything else below the belt. He set up a meeting at a Thai restaurant. When I arrived at the Thai restaurant and I saw the fifty-nine going on sixty year old man, about five foot high, dressed in an overcoat and holding a wine carrier with two bottles of wine poking out and a bunch of flowers, with a sinking heart, I knew that this was Sporty Spice. One had to admit, he had slightly misrepresented himself in his profile. We had a pleasant enough dinner, a bit like dining with my dad, and then sure enough he suggested we go to a hotel. No frigging way was I ever setting foot in a hotel with that man!
Then again, I suppose the same can be said for many women. They can say that they are sylph-like when they are built like a house. They can find a photo of someone else on the internet and use it as their profile picture. They can also say they are single when they are actually married and just looking for some afternoon fun or some excitement. Some women can be high-maintenance and have already been through a few husbands, but no online dating site asks how many times you're been married. Basically, you can say what you like, and some gullible fool on the other end might even believe you. There is something about online dating that attracts predators.
When my friend's sixteen year old daughter innocently went on an online dating site, she was immediately contacted by men of all ages. Many offered to help her become a woman and learn about sex. In fact, most offered to teach her about the facts of life. My friend was predictably upset when his terrified daughter confided that she was being hounded on the internet by sleazy men , some in their sixties but most over forty, sending very graphic pornagraphic emails, including photos of penises in varying stages of erectness. As you do, my friend and I decided to seek revenge on the pervert predators out there.
The Revenge Plan
We decided to do what most people on the online dating sites do. We set up a fake profile. My login name was Melting Moments, and we found a photo of a blonde German pornstar to use as my profile picture. In the description, we had fun. We said that Melting Moments was a nymphomaniac and although happily married, was seeking another man for a threesome. Within 48 hours over 800 men had replied. Many had used their real names and had sent their responses from their company emails. If we were into blackmail we could have made a fortune. We were inundated with emails containing photos of penises in every size and shape. It was unbelievable. We strung the men along, most again in the 40-65 age range. Incidentally, Melting Moments was 22.
Eventually, after a few days, we set up a meeting for the next night in a pub in a different suburb to the one we came from. We invited all those 800 men to the date, sure that many would back out on such short notice as they would probably be married. Sure enough, on D-day, we received apologies from a couple of hundred men, some asking for more notice, others asking for an afternoon or lunch meeting instead. We gave them a description of what we would be wearing on the night. Obviously, we dressed ourselves in completely different clothes. We battled to contain our excitement all day. Our little game seemed like fun and a great way to get back at all the sleazy men on the dating site. Unfortunately, when we arrived at the bar three quarters of an hour before the arranged meeting time, we were the only customers. We worried that we would stand out like sore thumbs, the only couple in the bar. Slowly, more and more men began to arrive on what was obviously a quiet night for the pub. How bad was our luck! They glanced at us briefly, but we looked nothing like the description we had given them. Although it was entertaining watching the men arrive and all sit staring at the door waiting for Melting Moments and her husband to arrive, it began to get a little frightening as more and more men began to arrive. We hurriedly finished our meal and agreed to leave before anybody approached us or got aggressive. There was so much testosterone in that room, we figured things could get ugly. Obviously, something we had never considered when we came up with the hair-brained scheme to set these men up on a fake date. As we left, another couple arrived. The woman was tall and blonde, and wearing a black top and white slacks, just as the one I had described that Melting Moments would be wearing. We left that bar faster than the speed of light, as men started to make their way towards the innocent couple. Definitely something we had not considered at all. As we walked towards the car, we saw more men standing on the sidewalk, hesitantly wondering whether or not they should enter the bar. It was with shock that I saw Sporty Spice walk past me and into the bar. He hadn't used Sporty Spice so obviously had another login name.
What can we learn from this?
Revenge is a dangerous game. Online dating can potentially be a dangerous game. We were obviously too cowardly to hang around any longer, not too sure what we might have stirred up. Those men were all sexual predators, all keyed up for an evening of sex with a nymphomaniac and her husband. What on earth did we think we were playing at? But really, online dating does seem to attract some very sleazy men. Some men have also had bad experiences with pychotic women on the sites. So, I guess it works both ways. The profiles don't tell you all you need to know before you go out on a date. People can easily lie. And, they do. Repeatedly.