- Gender and Relationships
HOW DO WE
BUILT A POSITIVE SELF ESTEEM?
If u wants to build a positive self esteem quickly, one of the fastest ways is to do something for those who cannot repay you in cash or kind.
A few years ago i started volunteering my time to teach attitude and self esteem programs to jail inmates. in just a few weeks, I learnt more than i had learnt in years.
After attending my program for two weeks, one of the inmates stopped me and said,” I am to be released from the prison in a couple of weeks."
i asked him what he had learned through the attitude development program. He thought for a while and then said that he felt good about himself. I said,” good don’t tell me anything. Tell me specifically what behavior had changed? (I believe that learning has not taken place unless behavior changes).
He told me that since starting the program, he reads the bible everyday. I then asked him what reading the bible did to him. He replied that he now felt comfortable with himself and others, something he had not felt before. I said to him, “that is nice, but the bottom line is, what u is going to try to be a contributing member of society. I asked him the same question again and he game me same answer. Then I asked him, “what are u going to do when u leave jail?”Obviously, I was looking for a different answer. At this point, in an angry tone, he said, "I am going to be contributing member of society.”I pointed out to him that there was a world of difference in what he said earlier and what he said now. First he had said, "I am going to try to be" and now he said" I am going to be. "The difference is the word "try". Either we do something or we don’t. The word "try" keeps the door open for him to come back to jail.
Another inmate who was listing in on our conversation, asked, "what do u get paid to all this?" I told him, the felling that I just experienced was worth more than what I could get paid in monetary term. He than asked, "Why do u come here?" I said, "I came here for my own selfish reasons, I want to make this world a better place to live.”This kind of selfishness is healthy. In a nutshell, what u put into the system, u always get back, and most times it is more than u can ever put in.(but u don’t put it in with the desire to get something back).
Another inmate said, "What anybody does is their own business. When people take drugs, it is none of yours business. Why don’t u leave them alone? "I replied, "my friend, even though I disapprove, I will compromise and accept what u are saying-that it is none of my business. Can u guarantee that when someone takes drugs, and gets behind the wheel of a car and has an accident, the only thing they will ever hit is a tree, I will compromise? But if u cannot guarantee this, yr or i or our kids could be dead, u better believe it is my business. I have to get this person off the roads."
This one phrase, “it is my life, I will do what I want, “has done more damage than good. People choose to ignore the spirit and derive the meaning that is convenient to them. Such people have tied this phrase to selfishness and this has had a negative effect on them and the world around them.
These people forget that we don’t live in isolation. What u does affect me and what i do affects u. we are connected. We have to realize that we are sharing this planet and we must learn to behave responsibility.
There are two kinds of people in the world-giver and takers. Takers eat well and gives sleep well. Givers have high self esteem, a positive attitude, and they serve society. By serving society, I do not mean a run-of the-mill pseudo leader-turned-politician who serves himself by pretending to serve others.
As human beings we all have the need to receive and take. but a healthy personality with high self esteem is one that not only has its need to take but also to give.
A man was washing his new car when his neighbor asked him,” When did u get the car? “He replied “my brother gave to Me.” the neighbor said, "I wish I had a car like that. “The man replied, "U should wish to have a brother like that. “The neighbor's wife was listening to the conversation answer she interrupted, “I wish i was a brother like that. “what a positive way to think!