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Starting over Again
For years, I maintained the wall I had built around my heart, my feelings, my thoughts and myself.
For years, I thought I had figured out how to never get hurt, simply by avoiding feeling things.
I loved my kids, but didn't allow myself to love or become interested in anyone else.
All those years, I thought I was protecting myself, but I actually wasn't.
I was letting a part of me die. I was afraid to feel. I was afraid to experience anything. I was afraid to get hurt. I was afraid to love. I was afraid of living. I was afraid of life.
I thought I was happy. But, I really was only existing, meanwhile a part of me was dying. The very best part of me was being unused. I was afraid.
Fear is a very powerful emotion. Fear can stop us dead in our tracks. Fear is paralyzing.
I don't want to just exist. I don't want to not feel anymore.
I know that I may get hurt. I realize that deep down, I am afraid. I know that there are risks. I also know that I am stronger than I ever thought.
No matter what happens, I know that I can handle it. I may feel vulnerable and get hurt, and I may not.
I am ready to open myself up to live. I am ready to open myself up to be vulnerable and to take risks.
I know that if I keep trying to protect myself, I am not experiencing life. I would be just wasting this precious life.
Don't be afraid to feel.
Don't be afraid to live.