Thoughts on technology, dating and relationships
We live in the age of instant gratification. Fast food, entertainment on demand, instant everything. Increasingly our technology is designed to feed that need for gratification. I have found the advances in dating technology to be a double edged sword, delivering too much choice too many options, distracting you from focusing on growing one great relationship. In this article we will look at the major technologies used in dating and the effect they have had on our dating lives.
The internet and computers
Computers and the rise of internet dating have perhaps had the most profound effect on relationships. The use of online dating has increased to the point where nearly a quarter of the couples I know met online.
When you look at internet dating services, it is worth distinguishing between the free and paid services. The most popular free service is probably MySpace, it is really a social networking site, but many people use it for online dating. There are a number of paid services like Yahoo Personals, one of the more prominent ones. In my opinion the difference between the free and paid services are that the people on the paid services are much more serious about dating. While the free services have a lot of people fooling around as well as quite a few scammers.
All in all I would have to say the internet has helped people create better dating lives. Fundamentally finding Mr. or Mrs. Right is a numbers game, the more you date the better your chances, of finding true love. However not everyone has had the full benefit of the internet, because they lack the self discipline to properly screen their dates and get distracted by all the options available online.
Long distance internet relationships
This starts out with finding someone online who seems just perfect for you. But, they are in another state or even in another country. So you start a very serious long distance relationship. This is in my opinion a very bad move, normal relationships are hard enough, and you don’t want to put yourself through a long distance relationship, if you don’t have to.
The temptation to lie on your online profile
This is a big no, no. If, you post a picture from 5 years ago on your profile and I go on a date with you, I am bound to feel insulted and it’s going to be a short date. I know people tell themselves they will just fudge it a little and when their date gets to know the “real” them, it will all be OK. This doesn’t work, don’t lie on your profile.
Mobiles, beepers and CrackBerrys
Firstly, always turn off your mobile, when you are on a date. Having a long phone conversation in the middle of a date is a big turn-off for most people.
The use of all of these communication tools are great as long as you don’t have it glued to your hand.
If you are in a relationship you need some trust, don’t call your boy/girlfriend every 5 minutes to check up on them. That kind of smothering can kill a relationship.
Dating technology can either be a useful communication tool and the gateway to a better life or an addictive tool keeping your from finding happiness. It all depends how you use it.