- Gender and Relationships
What Women Don't Like About Men
The survey would not have been possible without your help.
Shuva Singh Thakuri in Kathmandu, Nepal
Jeebesh Rayamajhi in Kathmandu, Nepal
Ava Shahi Thapa in Kathmandu, Nepal
Rita Subba in Kansas, USA
Safa Fathmath in Maldives
Smilio Aguinaldo, in Manila, Philippines
Ananda Chao in Bangkok, Thailand
And all the women who participated in the survey
One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman – Simone de Beauvoir (1908-1986) French writer and feminist.
I will appear idiosyncratic if I say I’m a feminist, but I believe one is not born a woman but is made a woman by regularly repeating the rituals such as decorating body and learning household skills, which are actually associated with feminine identity. A woman is taught gender roles from the very earliest age and reinforced perpetually. And this gender role is more defined in Asian and African cultures than in European and American societies. Women are still described as objects of beauty to be appreciated and appropriated by masculine gauge.
What Women Do Not Like About Men: A Survey
To know what women don’t like about men, I conducted a survey. Just about 100 women answered my questions. They came from different countries and cultures, and they were highly educated or just High School students. The women who participated in the survey came from different "races" and "religions." The women who participated in the survey were 18-61 years of age.
I was amazed with the answers. Some of the responses were mundane such as I don’t like my boyfriend becoming jealous when I talk to other guys; or, thought provoking such as women should look pretty, I hate this rigid masculine notion.
I have tried to sum up what women do not like about men, in ten points.
“No common ground for dislike”
Rita Subba (32)
Graduate Teaching Assistant at Wichita State University; Wichita, Kansas
Now that you asked, this is such a hard question. When somebody asked me what life was, I told him I had not lived enough yet to answer that. So can I pass this question stating that I probably haven't been with enough men?
What I dislike about men are sometimes the same things that I dislike about women. So I am thinking hard here. What I exactly dislike about men? I know what I dislike about my dad, my brother, my every male relatives and friends or old flames. I can't find a common ground of my dislike based on their gender.
Ten things women do not like about men
1. Men give importance to a woman's body than her mind. They think women don’t have intelligence, so they have to look beautiful. Men objectify women.
2. Men are chauvinists. They think they are superiors. They never practice equality. They take women for granted. Why can’t they even come home on time? "This makes women feel neglected and ignored."
3. Men think they know things better than women. When women want to discuss, men try to solve problems. They always don the role of helper. Men think they are always right.
4. Men are pretenders. They always pretend what they are not. They always want to impress women. They think they know everything.
5. Men seem to act overtly macho. All the time they try to look strong and act as protectors. They are over possessive and never want to let go their tough-guy image.
6. Men never give importance to what a woman really wants, all they want from women is submission. Men expect women to sacrifice lots of things for the sake of family, but they never give up anything.
7. Men think they are the head in the family, the society, the country, and most importantly the world. They believe they can get away with everything.
8. Men are not sincere when it comes to maintaining relationship. They cheat "on" their girlfriends and their wives. They don’t understand women’s feelings.
9. Men are unpredictable. They hurt women but a while "later" they try to become "angels" and wipe their tears. But why "do" they act insensitive in the first place.
10. Men interpret women’s love, care and support as pestering. Whenever women show concern for their men, they say they want space. But the truth is they can’t handle commitment.
My Mother’s Answer
Before forwarding the question to anyone, I asked my mother: what you don’t like about men.
“There are many,” she said.
“Give me few,” I insisted. She pondered for few seconds and shared her dislikes. I could see my father and me in her answer.
Let me add an anecdote here. When I said age of the responder is mandatory, one of my friends, who participated in the survey, mused, "Oh, I hate the age part but go ahead, let me be a man and not be shy about how old I am."
What are the things women in Nepal don’t like about men?
Rukmini Sharma (27)
I don’t like men:
- Who smoke in bathroom and throw cigarette butt in the toilet.
- Who throw a wet towel on the bed after taking shower.
Shradha Gurung (31)
I don’t like:
- Workaholic husbands not being able to give time to family.
- Men with lack of sensitivity towards women's emotional needs.
- Men who lack patience while shopping.
- Men not acknowledging the realities of life.
Anjana Rana Singh (37)
I don’t like:
- Men having the habit of lying, and who are dishonest.
- Men who have the laid back attitude.
Aakanchhya Sherchan (19)
I don’t like:
- Male chauvinistic attitude.
- Men who get carried away easily from the subject of conversation.
- Men who lack commitment in relationship.
Menka Shahi (33)
I don’t like men:
- With ego problems, superiority complex and dishonesty.
- Who smokes, drinks and parties like there's no tomorrow.
Women speak about the things they do not like about men
Julianna Evans (39)
RN/Freelance Writer; In A Relationship
What I don't like about men is: Their chauvinistic ways and there are times where they always like to be in control. It's nice when they are a gentleman; but I can't stand when they are insecure with themselves and make accusations about a woman when they are the ones that can't handle a commitment.
Phelcky Lilly (18)
Student in a boarding school; single; from Aarhus, Denmark
One of my biggest dislikes is the way many men (not all) tend to judge a woman’s body all the time. For me it's exhausting listening to comments about my fine ass. I have many male friends, but I feel that they don't really take me seriously. I am more than a body, I do actually have a brain.
Kelly Hamlin Ward (37)
Freelance writer and stay at home mom; from Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA
I don't like it when my husband tries to solve a problem or issue that I just want to discuss. I like to express my feelings about a topic or situation. During those times I really just want to hear myself talk so I can make sense of the situation. What I don't like is when my husband sees the issue as a dilemma and starts trying to solve the "problem" before I've even considered it to be problematic.
Retired Nurse; Married; from Ontario, Canada
This is a difficult question as it would depend on the man, that fact that some men feel they are more logical then women and this makes them superior in their own minds.
Suzana Hameed (21)
Accountant; in a relationship; from Maldives
What I don't like about men is their insensitivity. They don't care about your feelings.
Lisa Furugen (52)
Business Owner; in a relationship; from California, USA
I don't like a man who thinks he is above anyone else and treats them as such. This is a true sign of insecurity and weakness to me. (However, this doesn't apply to all men)
Anamika Jain (42)
Ghost Blogger/ Freelance Writer; Separated; From Mumbai, India
I dislike any man who cannot stand on his own or take responsibility of his words and deeds. I highly value sense of humor, good personal hygiene, intelligence, good manners, honesty and loyalty in a man. I like men with whom I can feel safe and protected. I like my man to treat me as an equal and with respect. I would not tolerate any man who is abusive or overly controlling.
Naznine Khan (24)
Bookshop owner; single; from Manila, Philippines
I don’t like men who love to hang out with hot girls, but want to marry a simple girl.
Susan Holland (46)
High School teacher; married with two children; from Ozark, Missouri, USA
I do not like men who feel they have to show off or act like they are someone who they are not. If they go overboard trying to impress women or others, it seems they are trying too hard and are not confident in themselves. I do not like it when a man feels like he always has to "one up" others. For instance, when someone tells a story and he has a story that is "even better," or someone is describing how to do something and he "knows" a "better way."
Jasmin Chao (61)
Travel agent; married; from Bangkok, Thailand
Men don’t remember anniversaries or birthdays, but they always remember the football match. This is what I don’t like about men.
Jamie Brock (37)
Housewife and married; from Wichita Falls, Texas, USA
I don't like the way some men seem to act overly "macho" or tough. Being a man doesn't mean that you can't have a sensitive side and act accordingly.
Aminath Areesha (36)
Housewife, married with two kids; from Maldives
I don't like men when they keep on lying to me, while they know that I'm aware that they are lying.
Cyndi Calhoun (33)
Freelance writer and digital artist; married; from Colorado, USA
I don't like men who sit in front of the TV watching sports and yelling and shouting at the TV. My husband doesn't do that, so I had to think about it.
Conclusion: What women do not like about men
If you are a woman, you may think something is missing here; you may even say the thing I don’t like about men is not listed here. Or, if you are a man, you might be thinking, this is not true, we do care about women. Let’s not generalize things. The battle of sexes will go wild when we only talk about the differences.
I want to conclude the survey with Ruchi Agrawal’s view. She is a 31-years-old married woman, an engineer by profession, from Singapore. “Men are good and I don't have any special dislike. Life is meant to be positive and I see positive sides where ever I go. I don’t expect anything from men and life is simple and enjoyable,” she says.