- Gender and Relationships
Ultimate Tips for Texting Girls
Texting Girls: What Turns Her Off & How to Turn Her On
It's no lie: texting girls is scary business, especially if you really like the girl, because one tiny slip of the thumbs could completely blow your chances of ever seeing her again.
In this Lens you'll learn exactly how to text girls to get more dates, because after all, the ultimate purpose of texting girls should always be to arrange a face to face meet up.
We'll cover important things like when to first get in touch, what texting habits repel girls and share some powerful texting techniques that will make her crave you.
Firstly it's important you understand what NOT to do. Check out this detailed list of the 21 mistakes men make when texting girls to get an idea of what behaviour repels women.
Once you've done that, it's time to see what girls have to say about men's texting habits. That's right. Girls.
In December 2013 Dating Metrics (previously named Pickup Metrics) interviewed 100 single girls in the U.S. to find out how guys are texting girls to fix the first date. The infographic below will take you through the journey of first text to first date. Give it a read and then I'll share my 5 ultimate texting tips with some fun videos along the way!
How to Text Girls [INFOGRAPHIC] - Before I share my 5 ultimate tips on how to text a girl discover what 100 single girls say about guys' texting habits in this
Let's recap on the key stats this infographic reveals about how to text girls
- 73% of girls prefer a text to start things off
- 89% want to be first contacted within 48 hours
Girls will go cold after:
- 5 days if you don't get in touch
- 2 days if she's a hot babe
Girls flake the first date because guys texts:
- 60% sound desperate and needy
- 44% are too dirty
- 24% reveal jealous traits
- 24% are boring
- 10% try to arrange a date too soon
Now I'm going to share my 5 powerful tips on EXACTLY how to text girls.
Texting Girls Tip #1: Text Her Immediately After Getting Her Number
A shocking 21% of men still abide by the 3-day rule - a ridiculous rule coined from the movie “Swingers”.
The rule states that you should wait 3 days to get in contact with a woman you’re interested in.
But just because it was in a movie doesn’t make it true.
The infographic above reveals that 89% prefer guys to contact them within 48 hours of exchanging numbers.
So...don’t wait until the next day, or the day after that:
Text her immediately after getting her number – within fifteen minutes after you meet her is good. Even better, text her when you’re right in front of her.
Bobby Rio, author of Magnetic Messaging and texting guru swears by this rule.
This way, when you’re fresh in her mind, she’ll remember you right away next time your number pops up rather than forgetting who you are and replying with an awkward “Who is this?” text.
Here are 2 templates of texts you can use to send her immediately after swapping digits:
“Hey Natalie (or nickname you have her), here's a recent photo of me. You can use it as my calling card. (INSERT PICTURE OF CAT IN BREAD). Rich.”
“Hey Natalie. I’m so not gonna text u cats in bread tomorrow. Rich."
There’s no magic text you can send to make her instantly fall for you, but texts like the above will differentiate yourself from other guys and allow you to continue a fun vibe the next day.
URGENT REMINDER: If she’s a hot babe and goes out regularly she’ll probably have at least 4 guys chasing after her. No joke. Also, girls in high demand will lose interest in you if you don’t text her within 2 days of meeting her, so remember:
You are not the only one texting her. You need to stand out and you stick in her memory. Get there first and text her immediately!!!
Texting Girls Tip #2: Maintain the Fun Vibe
24% of women won’t text you back the next day if you stop being funny.
No matter how much you make her laugh when you meet her the first time, she’ll quickly forget the “fun times” as soon as you become boring.
Remember, hot babes in high demand receive dozens of texts from guys just like you which makes it imperative that you stand out.
It’s actually pretty simple when you think about it. All you need to do is carry on the fun vibe you had when you met her.
Inside jokes, a weird hobby she told you about you can break her balls over, or anything that made you both laugh is a great place to start.
Before hitting send, take a step back and think - If I received this text, would I be moved to reply back?
You need to send the kind of texts that make her put everything else on hold to text you back.
These type of texts are both different and exciting.
If you can’t think of anything funny to say, here are 2 examples that demand a response:
"Hey Natalie, let's rob the big jewellery store on Oxford Street. You can be the getaway driver. We'll drive to the Channel Tunnel, cross over to France and start a new life abroad with all our plunder. Are you in or out? Rich."
"This reminded me of you (INSERT PICTURE OF LOL CAT). Rich."
Golden Rule: As a rule of thumb, if something makes you laugh out loud then it'll probably do the same for her. If it doesn't, then itis probably not worth sending.
This Video from Simple Pickup Will Show You Exactly How to Maintain the Fun Vibe
This video by Jesse from Simple Pickup is both hilarious and useful at the same damn time.
Texting Girls Tip #3: Don't Give a Sh*t
When texting girls, maintaining an “I don’t give a sh*t" mindset is key.
You must never let your desire for her consume you to the point where you’re checking your phone every minute to see if she has replied, reading into her texts too much, or staring at the screen for ages thinking about what to reply.
As soon as you start giving a sh*t your thumbs will slip up.
You’ll either stop being funny, become a needy texter or even worse, start exhibiting jealous behaviour.
And jealous behaviour is one of the greatest attraction killers of them all.
In fact, 24% of women will flake on you if you reveal signs of being a jealous type of guy.
There are various extremes of jealous behaviour, but here are some classic examples:
* You send an unhappy face if she says she can’t see you because she’s out with friends
* When she tells you she can’t see you because she’s out with friends you ask “are your friends girls or guys? :S"
* When she doesn’t reply to your call you say “are you avoiding me?”, or “why didn’t you answer my call?”
* Oh and then there’s the super extreme jealous guy: “I called you a few times today to see if you are ok but you didn’t reply. I hope you’re ok. Text me to let me know where you are”.
We’ve all been there. I’ve been a jealous a**hole countless times in the past and I’m not proud of it.
But if you’re not dating her, and she’s not your girlfriend, you have absolutely no excuse to be jealous.
Making a girl who doesn’t even know you feel guilty is pure psycho behaviour.
So if she sends a text that makes you feel jealous, or she doesn’t reply to you for a few days. Don’t guilt trip her.
Show her you’re a high value guy. Don’t give a shit. Brush it off, ignore it and change the subject.
Remember, you have other options because you’re a cool guy. Who cares if she doesn’t text back?
Not giving a shit should also be applied to the way you arrange the first date.
Don’t make it sound like a big thing, e.g. “Are you free tonight? There’s this special restaurant I’d love to take you to.”
Instead, dress it down, make it sound casual and fun, even caveman it if you think you can pull it off!: “Have plan tonight? Me want take Stephanie out”.
Texting Girls Tip #4: Never Send Needy Texts
Neediness is the biggest attraction killer of them all.
In the data from the infographic above, 60% of women said they will flake on guys with needy texting habits.
So be sure to eradicate all 11 of these needy habits from your texts:
1. Text back immediately every single time
2. Send photos of yourself and ask for her opinion
3. Send more texts a day than she sends you
4. Overuse emoticons, LOL and hahahaha
5. Flatter her repeatedly
6. Ask questions all the time
7. Send her regular updates on your day
8. Send text monologues (10 line+ rambles)
9. Send her meaningless texts like “how are you?”, “what’s up?”, “Hi”
10. Text her when you’re drunk
11. Ask her if she’s still ok to go on a date with you
Remember: any texts that seek her validation are needy, so never text her for the sole reason of getting a response, always text her something she’ll actually WANT to respond to.
This Video by Rebecca Ames from AskMen Has Some Classic Examples of Needy Texting
This video is a must watch to see a female perspective on needy texting.
Texting Girls Tip #5: Stay Out of the Friend Zone
Falling head first into the friend-zone is your fault NOT hers.
The dreaded friend-zone is avoidable, as long as you play by these golden rules:
* Never get sucked into idle chit chat.
* Learn to spot friend zone traps and escape them by either changing the subject
* Make your intentions clear and always be purposeful with your texts - to arrange a meet up
* Avoid sending more than 2-3 texts without proposing a meet up
Classic friend-zone traps are when she:
* asks what you’re doing
* asks if you like something she likes
Let’s breakdown how to escape these traps by teasing her and building her attraction for you:
She asks what you’re doing - make sure your response conveys that you are having more fun than her, are sociable and if you’re at work, that you are working hard and prioritise work over play (because you’re a responsible leader of men).
E.g. she says “I’m bored, what are you doing?” while you’re at work. Don’t reply back immediately like every other chump does and say: “working on some boring report for my boss. He wants it before 3pm. Urgh. How’s your day?”
Instead wait until 6pm (or whenever you finish work) and say: “Sorry, I couldn’t text back earlier. Was teaching the new interns about the power of Lol cats. Let’s get a drink at (bar name in 2 hours). You sound like you need one.”
If you’re not at work, a simple text will suffice:
She says: How’s your day going?
You say: Clearly it’s going much better than yours!
Both these texts show her you are not like other guys. You are keeping things fun by teasing her and in the case of the first text, going for the meet up. If she can’t meet you then brush it off like it doesn’t matter. Remember, you have other options.
She asks if you like something she likes - when girls ask you if you like something they are looking to see if you have common ground. The danger of finding common ground over text is you’ll get into long conversations about a topic that in no way serves your purposes of building attraction. Common ground is not hot, it’s the most dangerous friend zone trap out there.
She says: Do you like Game of Thrones?
You say: Sure, but not for the same reasons you like it.
*Saying “not for the same reasons you like it” is not the kind of response she’s expecting. This will make her wonder what your reasons could be and allow you to change the frame easily into a flirty and playful one.
Other common friend zone traps are when she:
* asks for your opinion on something
* shares a boring story about her day
* asks you for advice about something
If you want to become a master at staying out of the friend-zone and pumping her desire to meet you for a relationship of even just sex, I strongly recommend you check out my review of Magnetic Messaging. It’s the one book I rely on to turn my digits into hot dates (that almost always lead to sex straight after).
Hopefully this lens has given you a crash course on texting girls.
Let's recap those 5 ultimate tips:
1. Text her IMMEDIATELY after exchanging digits
2. Maintain the fun vibe
3. Don't give a sh*t
4. Never send needy texts
5. Stay out of the friend zone at all costs
If you want to learn how to truly supercharge your texts to turn more digits into dates, I strongly recommend you check out my Magnetic Messaging Review. It's an eBook that teaches you the art of attractive communication on the phone.
Resources Mentioned in this Lens
- Texting Girls: 21 Shocking Mistakes Men Make
Discover the 21 shocking mistakes men make when texting girls.
- How to Text a Girl: Advice That Could Change Your Dating Life
Fun video from the Huffington Post. I agree with everything in this video EXCEPT for asking questions. Asking questions all the time is NOT good advice.
- Jesse from Simple Pickups's Take on How to Text a Girl
This is my favourite video on how to text a girl from none other than Jesse from Simple Pickup.