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The Core of Love
The day I learned about real love
"I love you and I need you". It doesn't sound like the real love to me when somebody says those words. Love is giving. One example of the real love is the one given from mother to her children. All are given from mother to her children: protection, affection and care. Love from mother to her children appears automatically.
It is since I had my first baby, I could feel that real love. As my two children are growing up, the feeling is even clear, the true love I show to my children in real actions: how worried I am when they are sick, how painful I could feel to see my son cried of slight injury he had because of his unskillful cycling, how happy I could feel when my daughter cheered up of getting a birthday gift.
I am so grateful that God has gifted me two kids from whom I can find what true love is and how to show the love. Love is giving - it isn't demanding. I love you not because you contribute something to me; you give me support, you make me happy, you make me secure, you make me strong and other reasons which are beneficial to me. I love you because I accept you as however and whatever you are. I love my kids even though they yelled at me when I gave them a simple consequence of their breaking commitment to their responsibilities. I keep on giving care, protection and affection even though they stared in anger when I pushed them to tidy up the mess of toys they had made.
From the love I have given to my children, I can now share the true love to others; to my husband with whom I sometimes argue about even the simple things, to my mother-in-law who sometimes cures her dissatisfaction by blaming my simple carelessness and weakness, to friends and even to other people who have ever dragged me into troubles.
These are three simple elements which are built into the core of love :
I can see how beautiful life is when love exists; no hatred, no revenge, no blaming. In quietness I was trying to find out how to keep hold of love in my heart and I now realize that acceptance is the core of love. Accept anyone as the way they are, with their strength and weakness. Once I could accept my husband as the way he is, with his weakness which came up to be obvious and dominant at the first year of our marriage, I felt that nothing I should complain and nobody else I should wish to replace him in my life.
The existing love could disappear when we focus on any weakness which everyone has. Acceptance makes us realize that weakness balances strength in human relationship.
I am also grateful that I have friends with whom I can share my feeling and perspective about life to find out that there is no complete satisfaction in life. When I can be grateful for even the simple things I have, I am supposed to be satisfied and in this way I can enjoy my life, filled with happiness and sadness, ease and pain.
Life is so beautiful because there is love I can share to people around us and I am so grateful that all people around are basically good and nice as long as I can accept them the way they are.
Being grateful for even a small thing we have creates satisfaction. We can love anything when satisfaction exists.
I am trying to understand the reason behind any negative actions people around me could do which could sometimes hurt or harm me; and from there I am trying to be in their shoes to make me understand and tolerate any difference among us which makes this life and human relations be colorful and exciting.
Tolerance comes when there is empathy. Understanding the reason behind any action leads us to be tolerable. There is not hatred but love when we can tolerate.
Love comes up when we can accept people they way they are; we can understand and tolerate any difference among us. When love stays in heart, we can be grateful for everything existing around us. When there is gratitude, we can see clearly how beautiful life is, colored with tear and smile and how good all people are as we want to understand the reason of whatever they have done, either seeming to be good or bad. Enjoy your life always!