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The Key to a Long Lasting Marriage

Updated on January 22, 2015

Tips to keep your marriage happy

It used to be that divorce, separation and 'breaks' between married couples were things that just never happened. However, sadly, this is not the case today. It seems these days that quite often as the last chord of the wedding band rings out, many couples face an uphill struggle from the beginning. External factors, such as, work pressures and economic issues mixed with internal family pressures (i.e. children) can often lead to wedding ruin. Hopefully, the following hints can help to avoid these break downs.

Trivial matters should stay that way!

Try to remember what is important. OK, so the toilet seat has been left up but is that really a major thing to get stressed about and argue over? Probably not. With a little discussion and trying to make your point clear and understood an argument over very little can be avoided. If you feel the anger building step outside for 2 minutes and look at the sky. It can be very calming.

How to Avoid Arguments

Don't make all the decisions off your own back!

Everything from deciding to fall pregnant and picking the colour of the lounge to deciding on the new car and whether you can afford your football clubs season ticket should be matters that should be discussed and agreed between both of you. Just lunging in and doing something without any consultation will just leave a partner feeling unimportant and alienated. Respect your other half enough to discuss things through with them. It isn't a case of being 'under the thumb', it's a case of making decisions as a couple, which is what you signed up for on your wedding day.

Make time for each other!

Remember the early days when it seemed you had all that spare time to go to the cinema, go out for meals and spend all weekend in bed. You know, before children or the stresses of work? Make sure you take time out to rekindle your partnership and have time as just the 2 of you together again alone! It's amazingly important what difference breaking the routine can have and how you'll remember what is really important instead of becoming lost in day to day stresses. Also, remember what you used to find entertaining back in the good old day! If you can, try to revisit some of these entertainment ideas. Go for a walk, go to the gym together, go shopping, go for a meal... there's a lot you can do.

You don't have to be carbon copies of one another!

There are bound to be things that you will never see eye to eye on! But, you can bet that these differences of opinion and passions were things that initially attracted you to one another in the first place. So, remember, you don't have to be in complete agreement all the time just don't squash your partners opinions. Agree to disagree and smile!

Admit you are wrong!

Sometimes the ultimate kudos you can actually gain from your partner is by admitting you were wrong in the first place and being big enough to admit that maybe you'd had a bad day at work and needed someone to take it out on. Whilst swallowing your pride is not something that will come easy to anybody it can be done. And, in being on the opposite side, make it easy for your partner try to avoid the 'I told you so scenario' and gloating about them being wrong. It will just add fuel to the fire and cause resentment. Be gracious and try to understand your partner.

Don't lose the spark!

As mentioned, make sure you make time for one another not just by sitting in front of the TV either. Rekindle the old passions (or, never let them die in the first place!) and be romantic. You fell in love for a reason and passion will have been an important factor so don't let it fade.

Put the Passion Back...

Remember who you fell in love with!

The person you fell in love with is still the same person. If you harbored feelings of wanting to change them then you should never have gotten married. Who they are is who they is and hopefully that’s why you fell for them. It’s easy for couples to think their partners have changed and are not who they thought they were. Maybe they were just never the person you thought they were. More often than not though it is probably that they are now caught up in life on many more levels (i.e. providing for a family) and so have more factors affecting mood and leisure time. Remember though, for better or worse, these are the vows you made so understand and make that time for one another.

Finally....

Maybe this was just my bloke-ish outlook on the whole marriage thing but hopefully something here will help a couple somewhere realize what is important and that they can work through most things as long as they don't let things get too far out of control.

Written by Warble Entertainment Agency

Feel free to leave any tips, advice, helpful anecdotes etc... be great to hear from you.

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      HenryCavill 4 years ago

      I've been with my wife for 14 years now so we survived the 7 year itch and I think a lot of these points are very important. Great lens

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      i just want to share my experience and testimony here.. i was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive. but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all costâ¦then he filed for divorce. my whole life was turning apart and i didnât know what to do .he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell casterâ¦so i decided to try it reluctantly. although i didnât believe in all those things⦠then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading. he had realized his mistakes. I just couldnât believe it. .anyway we are back together now and we are happy. in case anyone needs this man, his email address drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.comhis spells is for a better life. again his email is drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com

    • techmom profile image

      techmom 4 years ago

      I think the D word should never be an option - as long as you keep your vows and stay committed to each other, you can overcome any problem

    • theinformationguy profile image

      theinformationguy 4 years ago

      Good information for all couples , thanks for putting this together

    • Wedding-Music profile image
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      Matt Warren 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK

      @lbrummer: Totally agree :)

    • lbrummer profile image

      Loraine Brummer 4 years ago from Hartington, Nebraska

      I think "commitment" is very important. Too many couples quit on each other. No marriage is without problems. The ones that last are the ones where the couple has decided from day one that divorce isn't an option.

    • JugglingInferno1 profile image

      JugglingInferno1 5 years ago

      Lots of hugs and lots of red wine!

    • najem lm profile image

      najem lm 5 years ago

      good adivces! i hope it will be helpful!

    • Wedding-Music profile image
      Author

      Matt Warren 5 years ago from Cheshire, UK

      @TonyPayne: Thanks for the tips and by the sounds of it 3rd time will be lucky :)

    • TonyPayne profile image

      Tony Payne 5 years ago from Southampton, UK

      I am on my 3rd and hopefully final marriage, so I know a lot about what can go wrong. In many ways it's incompatibility with each other, the sort of thing you often only find out after you get married, that drives you apart. For a marriage to last you have to enjoy doing things together, you have to enjoy surprising each other, and you need to also allow your partner to have their own interests. You need a lot of give and take, you can't just take all the time. My first wife never wanted to go anywhere or do anything, and my second always wanted to give the orders (it's a family trait). 3rd time lucky though, life is good :)

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      Author

      Matt Warren 5 years ago from Cheshire, UK

      @JoshK47: No problem, thank for the visit and comment :)

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      JoshK47 5 years ago

      Very good tips here - thanks for sharing!