- Gender and Relationships
The secret of the success of true lovers: they won't tell you
Change is the only thing that is constant. Therefore, change may be the reason why great lovers may fall apart. If truly change is inevitable, then there must be a secret that is behind the success of those lovers who made it till the end.
In one of my published book, I wrote a story and a poem on such lovers. Their secret was that their love for each other change in time because as time changed their love grew stronger but there are other secrets which I have witness and if you ask any successful lovers or marriages that lasted for a lifetime, they may tell you their secret, though most of them do not even know their secrets and how they made it till the end.
Love is a symbiosis, and its success depends, largely, on those involved. A love between incompatible partners should not exist because such love will so easily fade away and be forgotten as if it was never made to exist. That is a waste of love and it makes love to weep. We know that though love may hurt at times but it should not kill the one who loves.
Though perfect symbiosis is important for the success of a relationship, there is also the need for a partner to carry on when the other is weak because some factors can lead to weakness in a relationship. Such situation may require the need for the weak partner to articulate the factor or for the strong partner to be able to perceive the situation, even without explanation.
Some lovers are so fond of each other that they understand each other’s feelings, even without spoken words and they know how to help each other to overcome difficult times. This means that understanding is important in every relationship. There are lovers that I, at times, witnessed them shout at each other as if they are quarrelling but in truth, it was always a quarrel. Then suddenly the whole scene would change to a joke.
The girl, after much shouting and complaining, would say “don’t let me get angry with you.”
The guy would reply, “You can get angry if you will pay me after your annoyance or else you better don’t.”
“How do you expect me to pay you when am angry with you?” She would ask in astonishment.
“Then it’s useless for you to get angry because I would gain nothing from it and likewise you won’t gain anything instead we may lose something dear to us.”
They would laugh, and that would mark the end of the argument. They always succeed to change their differences to something for funny and laughter.
There are other lovers I have witnessed. These lovers are always happy as if they had no problem. I remember one day the girl said to the guy, “I feel cheated by you.” “Why?” asked the guy. “Because I didn’t get to know you much earlier, you approached me late.” “Oh! Am sorry but that was when I found you. Maybe next life I would win you from your mother’s womb.”
The point is that love has a cornucopia of delights, and it takes a perfect match, trust, patience, and understanding to enjoy love to its fullest.
Anger, lack of trust, and misunderstanding among others are a bane of lovers and they have made love to weep. I often tell people that every relationship has a beginning because we did not come into the world with friends. We meet people and some of them became our friends. Some of them can be our friends for a lifetime while some may leave us along the path. To those who hold our hands for a lifetime we can say, “It seems we have been friends even before we met.” Just think of your best friend and you can now remember how the relationship started or how you first met.
Successful lovers have secrets that sustain them but they may not tell others because they may not know it.
Try and discover the secret of your success in every relationship and improve on it. You can also discover why your love life is a failure, and work on it.
All true lovers have a secret that helps them pass the test of time because of time, they know, is dangerous. Lastly, if it fails then it never loved because God is love and God will never fail.