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The Unwanted Admirer

Updated on October 14, 2013

Dealing With The Unwanted Admirer

Sure, attention can be flattering but we all have times when we are just not in the mood to deal with it! Here are some of my own personal top tips on what to do when faced with this kind of situation. Feel free to leave any of your own suggestions in the comments section at the bottom!

Prevention

The easiest way of dealing with a situation like this is to establish what is happening BEFORE the person approaches you. Warning signs to look out for include:

  1. Lingering stares. Watch out for the characteristic red/inflamed looking eyes that can occur when somebody forgets to blink.
  2. Excessive drooling.
  3. Shirt unbuttoning.
  4. Cash flashing.
  5. Overly flamboyant gestures as they try to attract your attention.
  6. Erratic eyebrow raising/twitching.

The Response

At this point, it is imperative that you act in a way that will discourage them. Here are some ideas:

  1. Start talking to yourself. If possible, this should be done loudly and in a variety of accents for maximum impact.
  2. Run away. It's not ideal, but if you're not too bothered about staying where you are then sprinting out the nearest door is an option.
  3. Hide (eg under a table, behind a plant, up a tree). This is an alternative for if you really don't want to leave. Make sure you don't emerge again until the coast is clear though.
  4. Display a disgusting habit. Make sure this is unquestionably disgusting though, and not something that your admirer may find strangely attractive.
  5. Drastically alter your appearance so as to appear less attractive to the person. Walk off to the nearest toilets and reappear with coffee spilt down you, wildly backcombed hair and your clothes on back to front. Alternatively, leave the area and go for a quick run. Once you return (red-faced, wheezing and sweating profusely) your admirer might not be quite so admiring.

Responding to pick-ups and come-ons

Unfortunately, we don't always notice the signs before it is too late. So here are some suggestions for how to act if you are approached:

  1. Ignore the person. Literally. Just act as though they aren't even there. If this works well then your admirer will give up and walk away. Yipee!
  2. Once they start talking to you pretend to not understand any English. Respond in a pretend (yet authentic sounding) language and look generally confused.
  3. Adopt a look of extreme distress/irritation and begin scratching your entire body. Then look at your admirer and say, 'Don't worry. It's not very contagious'.
  4. Talk casually about your imminent appearance in court to face a murder charge. Complain about how it was an 'accident' and how you believe the police response to be an 'over-reaction'.
  5. Talk endlessly about your 30 cats, naming each of them and giving detailed accounts of all their attributes.
  6. Pretend that the person located nearest to you is your boyfriend/girlfriend. Embrace/kiss them to add to the authenticity. (Ask beforehand though or things could turn nasty!)
  7. Talk enthusiastically about your plans to get married ASAP and have at least 15 children. (Just to warn you though, this can backfire horribly if used on the wrong person.)

WARNING!

Do not use this advice in response to a stalker. Contact the police instead.

Photo used under Creative Commons from blair_25

Any more suggestions? - Feel free to leave a comment below...

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    • KandH profile image

      KandH 

      5 years ago

      Bring on the unwanted admirers, I'm now fully prepared to repel - thanks to you NibsyNell!!!

    • profile image

      SteveKaye 

      5 years ago

      I thought of another one. Start coughing. And keep coughing - loudly. Get creative with the coughing. Add a few wheezes and sneezes for variety.

    • profile image

      SteveKaye 

      5 years ago

      Fantastic. I'll add that keeping food on your face also works, especially if it's a wild color. This has the added benefit of providing a quick snack when you want one.

    • DeborahDian profile image

      Deborah Carr 

      5 years ago from Orange County, California

      Great article. Try talking rudely and loudly on your cell phone to your "boyfriend," too ... even if there is no one on the other end of the phone. When I was a Realtor and creepy guys would come to my open house, this seemed to work as a great defense. They would get bored the longer I talked, and eventually leave.

    • NibsyNell profile imageAUTHOR

      NibsyNell 

      5 years ago

      @vineliner57: Ahaha... yes I think that would be very effective!

    • NibsyNell profile imageAUTHOR

      NibsyNell 

      5 years ago

      @RecordLady: Glad you liked it! :)

    • vineliner57 profile image

      Hal Gall 

      5 years ago from Bloomington, IN

      Funny article. I would try picking my nose and wiping it on my clothes as an option :)

    • profile image

      RecordLady 

      5 years ago

      What a great lens. Love the sense of humor behind it.

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