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The Young And The Dateless

Updated on May 20, 2015

Hollywood High Schooler

You know how you watch a show and there's that one person who just can't talk to the opposite sex? It's usually a guy who tries to talk to a girl and say something simple like "Hi, How are you?" but instead it comes out, "I like bubble gum and your face!" and somehow he ends up screaming at her... That is me.

I see a guy I think is cute and if he tries to talk to me I just say whatever pops in my head first, from bubble gum to Sons of Anarchy. I will think in my head of the perfect thing to say but instead my face goes bright red, my heart races and I just say ridiculous things or pretend I was never actually approaching them. I'll grab a napkin from the bar, pretend I'm looking for the bathroom, anything to "casually" change my course and head back to my safe little seat in the dark corner where my embarrassment and I can drink more in solitude.

Psych 101

If you think I'm exaggerating, let me tell you a little story about my psychology class freshman year of college. I get there on the first day and I'm late, because I got lost and my schedule had the wrong room number, I'm forced to sit in the only seat available... front row. I put my things down and look up at the person next to me. By "person" I mean extremely handsome greek god someone just pulled from a magazine ad... the next day I sat in the same seat next to him again. The third day was when it all went up in flames, our professor decided to change it up and go to a different class room with tables, not individual seats. I was obviously feeling bold when I walked in and saw him sitting alone at a table and I decided to sit directly across from him. MISTAKE! He said hi (yay!) and asked how I was doing (so polite!) and then he asked what other classes I was taking. That last question for some unknown reason completely threw me. I told him i was taking 5 classes (true.) English 101 (false) A math class (false) world history (false) Psychology 101 (FALSE) and of course, human communications (false.) I did not include the developmental psychology class I was currently sitting in, instead I named 5 classes I took during fall semester, right before the current semester. As I heard myself telling him, I realized my mistake and figured he would know too! My face turned crimson red and a rush of heat washed over me. I took my sweatshirt off and excused myself to the restroom. Halfway down the hall I remembered that earlier that morning I realized I hadn't done my laundry and needed to wear the sweatshirt to cover the t-shirt with a lace back that displayed my entire back and bra to the world. I screwed up a simple response, blushed like no one has ever blushed before and showed this guy way more than he bargained for, all before 10am.

Grocery Shopping

I now live dangerously close to a grocery story with a coffee shop in it. Since I moved to this location I have frequented at that coffee shop/grocery store. There is a manager there who is very handsome, intimidatingly so. I have wanted to talk to him and ask him out for a year, but all I can manage to say is "hi" or "how are you?" I'm so afraid I'm gonna repeat that same psych class fiasco, that whenever he seems like he's going to talk to me I run away or just end the conversation before it gets beyond "I'm good, how are you?"

fairy tale ending

If I ever get a fairy tale ending, I'll be sure to plaster the internet with my hard earned success. Until then you can find me awkwardly avoiding conversations or literally running from them. Don't worry, I'm sure something terribly embarrassing will happen to me again and I'll forget all about my past troubles. (:


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