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Letter to the first boy I ever loved.

Updated on January 27, 2012

Dear Kevin,

This is a letter of thanks, It's been nearly five years since I've seen or even thought of you, so I'm not sure of exactly how to begin- so I'm starting with a poem just for you! You don't know this, but between the ages of thirteen to eighteen I wrote you so many poems, none of which you ever read of course. I'm twenty-three now; and this is the last thing I will ever write about you. Not that you'll ever read this either, I just wanted to have an opportunity to say thank you:

For every time you made me cry- You taught me to be strong.

Every time you used me- You taught me to never let it happen again.

Every time you led me on- You taught me how to tell the difference.

All the times you betrayed me- You taught me to rely on myself.

Every time you took me for granted- You taught me to appreciate those who really love me.

Evey time you lied to me- You taught me the importance of honesty.

All the times you made me doubt myself- Taught me to be proud of who I am.

Every time you accused me- You taught me to give the benefit of the doubt.

And every single time you mistrusted me- Showed who you really were.

For all you said and all you did- That showed me what I never want in a relationship.

I was so young, and you took advantage, of my naivety and my vulnerability. I was so in love with you, and you loved having a doe eyed young thing mooning over you.

But eventually I saw through your charm, after five years of dreaming, wishing and praying, those rose tinted glasses finally fell off. I hardly moved for a week after that last infamous phone call. I cried for days and for so long everything I did reminded me of you.

And then I met him. the real love of my life. He was so sweet and so kind, everything I always wanted you to be. And after years of loving a boy who gave me nothing in return, I could recognise that he was everything I needed.

Kevin. You helped give that to me, you taught me so many important lessons that I will never forget, and that in the future I will be able to pass on to my daughters,

and for that. I Thank You. Sincerely. 


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    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 6 years ago

      Colin posted this on my fb. This is really well written and genius. I really enjoyed it. It's exactly where I'm coming from to the tee. All I have to do is replace Kevin with "....". LOL

      Good job moving on, you were so young. Men do like to take advantage of younger "doe eyed"...that's a very good descriptive and true word.

      I learned a lot too, and we are fast learers. Thanks.

    • Literature Fairy profile image

      Holly Jackson 6 years ago from England, UK.

      Lol Epigramman thank you so much for that! (Actually I'm 25 now, just had a birthday last month) Thank you all for the kind words! Much Love, LF x

    • profile image

      Poetic Fool 6 years ago

      Literature Fairy, good for you learning these difficult lessons while you are still young. Some of us take a lot longer to learn them. Thanks also for passing those same lessons along. Maybe some of your readers will be the wiser and suffer less for it. Voted up and awesome.

    • makusr profile image

      Manoj Kumar Srivastava 6 years ago from India

      Literature Fairy,

      Greetings from MAKUSR. I am impressed not just by your poetic acumen but by the positive and courageous frame of mind with which you have taken life. People like you are never looser. They are the path-breakers.

      Lots of Love,


    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ...well Holli the Hippie - lol - I am so very glad I found you - and yes the American thanksgiving is traditionally a month later on November 24. Our Canadian holiday is always around this time in October so I am very thankful to have a comment from you and so very pleased to make this announcement - Holli, be brave, I will post this hall of fame letter to my Facebook page with a direct link back here just so people know how very special you are and what a wonderful writer you have become at the ripe old age of 24 - lol - and yes I wish I were that boy in the letter in terms of your affection, honesty and profound intelligence - if there is grace in this world then you certainly have an abundance of it.

      lake erie time ontario canada 8:49pm

    • Literature Fairy profile image

      Holly Jackson 6 years ago from England, UK.

      Lol Inspired! Love the great little poem thanks! But I have already found my 'one', and he is a much better fit! Thanks for reading commenting and following! xx

    • Inspired to write profile image

      Dale J Ovenstone 6 years ago from Wales UK

      Well with a guy named Kevin, your not going to find heaven, I'm glad he taught you well, but put you under his spell, & now your lesson is learned, so no more of getting burned, your one is out there, so don't you despair, just give it some time & be so choosy, & the next one of YOUR CHOICE, you'll definitely no loosey lol

    • Literature Fairy profile image

      Holly Jackson 7 years ago from England, UK.

      Thanks Y.Kajitaka. I definately think you should post that poem! Don't worry too much about your tragic fairytale, pain is like fuel for us writers! x

    • Y. Kajitaka profile image

      Y. Kajitaka 7 years ago from Cartersville, GA

      I seriously hope I'll be able to write a letter like this one day. Right now, my first and last love is still a tragic fairytale. TT_TT No, seriously, I can write it in a tragic fairytale format. I've actually put it down that way. Maybe I'll post it....

      Loves and hugs- and thanks for being my first follower~!

    • Neverletitgo profile image

      Abdinasir Aden 7 years ago from Minneapolis, MN

      Poor lady, atleast you sudied your lesson.Thanks for sharing.

    • attemptedhumour profile image

      attemptedhumour 7 years ago from Australia

      I wish i could have learnt that lot a bit earlier, isn't puppy love a degrading thing. I used to mope over a girl, she used to look though me and i really didn't exist in her cruel eyes. But that time passed and i made a million different mistakes instead, but then i am a blockheaded bloke so what can one expect. There's a lot of depth in your hub and that plonker really did fast track your development. If he read this hub he'd think, "my name's Kevin too, what coincidence."

    • Huey19 profile image

      Amy 7 years ago from Chicago

      Literature Fairy, i want to start by saying i love your hub name. Second, thank you for being a new follower of mine. Third, after reading this I can see why you liked my poem If it Wasn't for you.... We share the same experiences and we're strong because of it. Although we're both very young, we've got a good grasp on things. I look forward to exploring your other writing. :-)Great idea with this hub.

    • Granny's House profile image

      Granny's House 7 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

      Great job!. It is so cool how you have turned a negitive in to a positive.

    • Literature Fairy profile image

      Holly Jackson 7 years ago from England, UK.

      He does very much, thank you CP. x

    • Christopher Price profile image

      Christopher Price 7 years ago from Vermont, USA

      L F,

      This was a very nice heartfelt expression of appreciation for the difficult lessons learned through painful periods in our lives.

      I wish Kevin would read this well written poem. Sometimes a loser needs to be confronted with what he has lost due to his own failings. Chances are he wouldn't "get it" even now.

      I am happy you have found someone that is the polar opposite of this "first love".

      I hope he can appreciate your literary talents as well.

      I do.


    • b.crowe profile image

      Bridgette Crowe 7 years ago from Morrow La

      I swear I said almost the same words to my husband of fourteen years right before i ended the marriage. Great hub beautifully written.

    • Literature Fairy profile image

      Holly Jackson 7 years ago from England, UK.

      Thanks! :D

    • blaise25 profile image

      Fehl Dungo 7 years ago from close to you...

      Intensely well written :)

    • SummerSteward profile image

      SummerSteward 7 years ago from Duluth MN

      What a great perspective! Everything that happens offers a lesson, I am glad to see you found yours. I am glad you have found a way to happiness with tools you gained from bad choices and memories. Very nice writing!

    • Literature Fairy profile image

      Holly Jackson 8 years ago from England, UK.

      Thanks, Will definitely check out that hub! x

    • profile image

      TattoGuy 8 years ago

      Kevin you are such a tosser missing out on this lovely lady, and by the way my friend I have that new Fairy Tattoos hub written for you.

      That was a nice lil poem, reminds me of a girl called Sandra who broke my heart, still ya live and learn doncha, glad yer happy now !