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Victoria Beckham and The voluptous Mummy Jeans
Yummy Mummy jeans and me
Victoria Beckham and her Jeans
Every mom out there will instantly know what I am talking about when I say those jeans. Come on now you know the ones I mean. Yes I am referring to that wistful, lonesome pair of skinny jeans that still hang hopefully at the back of your wardrobe.
Every now and again I am inextricably drawn to my pair and then all the memories of my before baby body come rushing back to me. After this painful ritual it is then time to shake my head guiltily and begin remembering that this tiny pair of trousers actually had fitted me until I was twelve weeks pregnant. Now when I study the small amount of fabric, the miniscule waist and the lack of backside room they look to me as if they wouldn’t even fit Barbie. Every now and again I think about giving my banks loan department a ring and I start wondering how painful liposuction could really be anyway.
Then I take my hyperactive son to the supermarket and just happen to glance at the magazine stand and there they are in all their glory those damn yummy mummy pictures.Every time I pass the coffee table I see them smiling mockingly at me. There she always is the miniscule Victoria Beckham, with her flat tummy, her cellulite free legs and as usual actually looking thinner than before the latest baby. It’s enough to make me reach for the biscuit tin, or the bottle of chardonnay or on particularly dark nights a big glass of wine or three followed by a sinful pepperoni pizza.
While I am munching or swigging away I have this delectable little dream. How refreshing it would be to see a mere mortal mom adorning the front page. A mom who hasn't had time to style her hair this morning or spend two hours with her personal trainer while the nanny navigates the kids through their morning routine.
A voluptous real woman one with her full breasts jutting out, her baby belly still protruding someone who was just a true,realistic testament of womanhood and just a desirable lady who also happens to be a mom. Then maybe I could give those damn jeans to Oxfam with a clear conscience and just move on and enjoy who I am now.